CowgirlJane

No flames here... but... trust me there are plenty of people who are repulsed by the scars from plastic surgery too. I know this because a lady in my plastics support group has been TOLD that directly. I say screw em - I lost weight and had plastics for ME. I look good clothed and while I am far from perfect naked, I know I look better than many other women my age. My guyfriend said something interesting. He said that in the dating world, regardless of extra skin or plastics scars - about 20% will be attracted; another 20% will be not attracted to you and the rest...eh.. somewhere in the middle and could go either way. You never know, maybe they are more bothered by my beauty mark (mole) on my left jaw. Who cares - I like me and I am who I am.... there are some things I can't change or fix so I will simply not worry about it. I am confident in myself and deserve to find someone who is comfortable with/accepting of and hopefully even attracted to the whole package - quite literally, scars and all.

Rj that is news to me...I had been informed that leaks are pretty much first. 6-8 weeks and the ones found a few months out are presumed to have gone undected. I was told I am not at risk for leaks anymore.

I accidentally posted a reply in the men's room due to the stupid way this site is laid out...so I know why it happens but the attitude about the veteran forum is hostile even when you try to gently remind and request. I am overwhelmed recently by private messages etc. One pre op I have replied to like 4 messages and talked to her on the phone for 30 minutes.... and now she wants more. I am beginning to really understand why many vets go into hiding

Check out page 6 of 7 on Vets forum to the thread asking if hunger returned I tried to ask very nicely for non vets to not post and I got a bitchy reply. I am ignoring but this is the kind of crap that at times makes me wonder... I reply to at least 3 private messages a week from newbies. I have done phone calls etc. And one place for vet topics and people simply cannot leave it be.

I hit goal Feb 2013 and my BMI was just over 25 at 158, but I looked and felt great. It is now April 2014 and I weigh about 142. My point? It worked for me to accept myself , Celebrate success and then keep working the sleeve in a maintenance mindset. I think letting go of perfectionism and trying some self love and acceptance is good. I was just as healthy and fine at 158 I just have a little smaller waist now but quality of life? No difference.

Oh what a wonderful photo! Looks like you two really connected. .what lovely girls you are!!!

I don't think you have full sensation until at LEAST 6 weeks out. I think the other point made that we often don't really know what "full" feels like is very valid. I had a larger sleeve according to the whole bougie size thing (I can't recall, but it was either 38 or 36) but I have just as much restriction, if not more, at 28 months than I did at say 6 months post op. I am not convinced that a tiny bougie size makes that much difference after the initial few months anyway, I think it is other factors. I could not eat what you described and if I did, i would have a very very sad feeling tummy. Part of that is because when you consistently eat healthier food your body tends to get a little upset over junky food (tummy aches, diarrea etc). I am not judging, we ALL have or had food issues and struggles. For me, it was so important to succeed for the sake of my health and quality of life that I was pretty determined to do my very very very best. That meant at times making mistakes and then trying to do better the next time. It is not a mystery how I do it.... -I consistently stop eating before any feeling of "full" - I eat until no longer hungry and that is IT - STOP. Took awhile to learn it, but I worked on it from day 1 and I believe that small portion sizes day in and day out is why I feel pretty good restriction now -I use Water and hydration techniques. So really load up with water say 2-3 hours after eating when your tummy is empty. Let it go dry - wait say 30 minutes since a dry tummy gets full feeling faster -Dense Protein, dense protein and some veggies. I really don't eat sliders or other foods that go down too easy. I am sure I could eat a whole box of crackers for example so I just don't buy them. -I don't eat fast food. That is one of those topics that for me, it is just easier to not be in those places if I can at all avoid it. I have created a mental picture of that - not as deprivation but of providing the best nourishment to myself that I can. -I eat very low carb. For me, carbs make me hungry. Absence of high carb food (bread, Pasta, rice, Beans etc etc) helps keep my appetite in check -I eat slow, but not too slow. What I mean by that is I don't let myself graze and eat all day long, but I eat slow enough for my brain to catch up that I have had enough. I think you should discuss with your surgeon and nutritionalist. EAch of us only know our own stories and while we feel like experts - in truth, we only know our own experience. I think a professional is in a much better position to advise you and get you on the right track. Good luck!

I feel the same way, and I am not even sure why it is such a pet peeve. It guess we tend to be sorta okay with the replies by non vets, and it seems like when you even mention the "rules" people get a little huffy. What they don't seem to understand is that if vets don't have a place... they fade away. At least when newbies start threads - they need to be moved and that helps some. Back in my lapband days the vets forums (it was a yahoo group then) were always hidden to stop this kind of thing. Oh yeah, and if i had read just how many problems people a year out where having I would have never been banded so it is a public service that a vets forum is for general viewing.

Yes, I had a very large belly - apple shape. I did have extra belly skin that was easily hidden with spanx/shapewear before I had plastics. The main thing that bothered me is that the skin would sorta sit on my lap when bike or horseback riding. In clothes, with spanx, it wasn't bad though and I lost 160; or more like 180 from my highest weight. There are alot of factors that go into "just how bad" the extra skin is. My advice to anyone is not borrow trouble from the future - stay focused on the weight loss and health improvements - and worry about excess skin later.

My situation was different because I had a high visibility job and an outgoing personality even when i was obese. However, I was "sexually invisible" meaning not really feminine or ever portrayed myself as the least bit attractive. It probably doesn't matter what came first - the obesity or the invisibility - but now is the time to face it as you are wisely doing. When I was young, I regained weight after reaching goal because I could not deal with the attention. I would fear regain if I had those sort of emotions now. I am seeing a counselor and she has said a few very helpful things. One of them is to remind me that there were times in my life that I was very vulnerable, I did have reasons to be frightened/hiding/etc but that isn't the case anymore. This is growth, to find a new way of thinking and feeling that fits your current life, not how things used to be. I am strong, independent and don't need to hide or minimize myself anymore.

Well, I somewhat unwittingly conducted an experiment. A few months after getting to goal I started seeing someone who has always been super fit/athlete type. We didn't discuss it much, but he was not someone who dated or was attracted to plus size women. Well, I warned him about the skin as I was very paranoid I guess and in truth I still felt kinda fat (mostly due to the extra skin, but I was also about 15-18 pounds heavier than I am now). He told me later that I made way too big of a deal out of the loose skin - that the reality was not THAT bad. Down the road, I decided to do plastics which he was basically against (although not actively trying to talk me out of it, just thought it wasn't really needed). Then, when I had the plastics, he was like WOW. So, I think my experiment proves PDX point - pretty happy just to get you nekkid and it's all a bonus from there. Women worry way way too much about this crap. I once saw a funny on Facebook that said: "women will never attain true equality with men until they can walk down the street bald and with a big beer belly and actually think they are hot stuff"

I want to go to the UK as a tourist but I may need to take English lessons first. Confession on something here - I never really thought that losing a few more pounds would make a difference, but based on reaction of people around me, I would say it does. I felt like I looked fine before, but being down another 8-10# just gets rid of a little extra around the waist or something. I am not sure how hard this will be to maintain since i didn't lose it in a normal way. I am eating again and keep expecting the pounds to inch back on, but we shall see. I had a bit of an emotionally stressful day yesterday but i am hanging in there. Wondering how everybody is doing and hope you have a good weekend!

Hey GG - long time no talk. Looks like you are doing awesome!!!

It is pretty normal. I wasn't even on solid food at 4 weeks. I would say it took me until more like 6-8 weeks out before I felt better. Then, I had months of just zero interest in food - like eating was a chore. That is what helped me lose over 150#. It does get better in time, I am over 2 years out now and feel great and have for a long time. You will get more input and feedback if you post this in a separate thread in the post surgery forum though! Hang in there.

A little regain is a fairly normal part of the process. I advise you to NOT beat yourself (that sounds like OLD destructive patterns!) and instead come up with an action plan (which you are doing) and just DO IT! One of my eye openers over the last few years is that even skinny people have to work at weight management - especially after about age 40. You know what, they don't think they failed cuz they had a little bounce - they just do something about it! Hang in there, think positive and stop the self loathing - you have not failed, you are simply needing a little tune up right now.

I picked other because you did not really have a "positive" choice to vote for. i never get sick, I can always find something and I am very comfortable eating at restaurants - I enjoy the social aspects and the ambiance. If I am with my sons, i usually take a small portion off their plates. If I am out with friends, or a date or something, I eat off the appetizer menu. Shrimp skewer, for example, is the perfect bariatric meal. I am 28 months post op, I didn't really go to restaurants too much during the weight loss phase. I never feel like anybody looks at me weird or any of that. I think that since I am now "small" people accept it, when I was obese, i probably got more "looks" but again I didn't do alot of restaurant meals during the loss phase.

This was a surprise. I used to go every 4 months for a teeth cleaning as I had the early signs of peridontal disease. I guess I got so focused on plastics that I sorta got off track and haven't been in a year. i went yesterday, and they declared my gums much improved, I am now on a normal 2X a year cleaning. I thought that was so strange given the situation - I was expecting bad, not good news. The hygenist mentioned that overall health improvements often bring about improved gum health. Anyone else experience this unexpected NSV?

Butter chicken is mild, but I would also ask for recommendations when you order. In spite of the name, Butter chicken is actually one of the healthier Indian dishes...LOL. That stuff is not diet food..haha. I like the flavors of Indian food very much but can't handle much heat either. The stars thing help, but sometimes the base dish is spicy so even though you order it as a 1-2 star, it can still be spicy. I think it was vindiloo that happened to me with - anyway there are mild dishes that are quite delish. I personally despise most chinese food because it is greasy and has MSG or something that makes me feel gross. I do love a good dim sum place though! I have been eating at restaurants a lot the last few weeks because it seems like it helps my appetite. I feel like i am eating pretty normally now so expect the weight loss to stop. I am not sure if I will be able to maintain at 141-142 range but would like to stay under 145 if I can. It surprised me how much these last few vanity pounds seem to make a difference, i can't see it but people around me are definately telling me they see it. I luckily didn't lose more off my butt. I can't find my tape measure, but I think I finally lost some off the waist etc where I actually need to lose it! Jeans I wore all last summer have a huge gap in the waist now which is great. I am feeling better... I think. Cautious optimism continues...

Realself.com is a great place to read reviews and see before and after photos.

Great question, but I moved it to a forum where you are more likely to get replies. The veterans forum is for people a year out from sleeve surgery. I had the lapband, did not do well, but lost over 160 since revising to sleeve. I am currently in maintenance. Revision was the best thing I did.

Okay, I contacted Alex again as my status as the host without a forum...haha. anyway, i have been added to the vets forum. Seems to me the main mission there is to simply move posts started by non vets, right? What is the guideline - PM the person, but what forum do you move it to and and how do you do that? this is my pet peeve... the "ask a vet" type thing. I don't really have an issue with non vets replying so much as I realize that is mostly by mistake due to the way this site is laid out.

I am shocked you haven't had Indian food - but I live in the land of Microsoft where there are many many tech workers from India and lots of Indian restaurants. Not all of it is hot and spicy, much Indian food is quite delish. I don't know what depression really is, but i don't think it is normal to burst into tears at every little thing. It could be that something is really bothering you and you are burying that feeling so it comes out at weird times?

I think it just hit me - depends on the program you are part of. Mine never expected perfection, but clearly informed me that a certain path was more likely to result in better weight loss and maintenance results. My BMI was over 50 when I started so I took it seriously - like how can I best "work" the sleeve. I focused on weight loss during that phase... and then have adjusted my thinking a bit for maintenance but i am still terribly conscious of my food and activity choices. does that mean I am on a diet? I think we are all "on a diet" it is just a question of if it is a way of eating that supports your health and weight goals or not. It is a lifestyle, not a temporary thing - but, during the weight loss phase I was focused and fairly diligent. In maintenance, part of my diet includes certain foods/drinks that were not on the program during weight loss. I follow it "perfectly" in the sense that I live a lifestyle that so far is keeping me good in maintenance. I am currently in the low 140s; under my personal goal of 158 - starting weight was over 300. I think people misunderstand what it means to be "perfect"...haha. Perfect is not possible, but in the big picture do you live the lifestyle that is keeping you on track for your goals is really the question.

141.9 I am eating again but still losing, slowly now though. The rule of thumb is to stay within 10% of your weight at time of plastics. I was 150 so that gives me a range of 135 to 165. I didn't ask the definition but in my mind clinical depression is a brain chemical thing whereas grief is a mourning. Trouble sleeping so I am exhausted this morning

I would love to meet and socialize with some of the local folks on this board, don't get me wrong. I am just saying that many people already go to their surgeon's support group or, in my case, I choose to get my support online. I went to one from my surgeon's office in person (post op) meeting and decided it wasn't for me. I did attend several meetings at Overlake hospital in Bellevue pre-op and it was very helpful in me deciding to proceed with bariatric surgery however. They have a monthly (or maybe it is twice a month) with a very good leader and it is open to all. Anyway, I do agree that the only way to make something like this happen is to just DO IT because just talking about it didn't work last summer...LOL If you haven't seen this thread, you might want to post something here: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/284945-any-washington-state-sleevers/page-6