CowgirlJane

I have come to understand obesity as a disease process. So, for whatever reason, you get overweight/obese. I think in my case it was a combination of genetics (my ancestors survived the Irish potato famines!), childhood history of abuse and a food stuffing dad. anyway, once you are obese, your body changes. The more obese, the longer, the more advanced the disease process is and it becomes nearly impossible to maintain significant weight loss without surgery. even WITH surgery, plenty of people regain! It is something to google... the concept of obesity as a disease process.

300# 9/2011 Band Removal 308# 12/1/2011 Start of Preop Diet 300# 12/12/11 Sleeve revision 158# Feb 2013 - GOAL lost 150# 14 months post op 150# 10/14/2013 - Plastics Dr Sauceda in Monterrey Mexico; removed 5.5# of skin 140# Apr 2014 - maintaining 168# weight loss currently. Very happy with my sleeve and plastics results!

I was not inspired by Roth, don't recall which one I read, but i know many people have benefited from her books so it would be interesting to hear.

Since you still have restriction, I probably wouldn't do the pouch test thing. I think 5:2 is a reasonable choice, or go back to logging... do what worked before. Seems like your size is pretty small, do you really have that much more to lose? Skin has a way of looking like fat... For exercise, i am a big believer in HIIT - high intensity interval training. You can exercise less hours and get much better results. I did that combined with 5:2 and lost 10# in a month or so last year. I also think just increasing your baseline activity level is helpful, small differences that add up - you know, do more little walks instead of sitting over coffee, don't sit in front of the TV, do something active instead - doesn't have to be "exercise" per se - come over to my house and shovel horse manure and move hay... that sort of thing.

Love it!!!

They adopted a boy and then the classic... found out they were pregnant with twins. Ha! Can you imagine? so the one is actually a bit older than the twins, but they are currently all 18

I am at goal and fairly fit, but i can't run either due to really bad knees. Bums me out too, but it is the situation. I think there is alot to be learned from a variety of people - including people like me who do more "active lifestyle" over gym workouts. I do more gym in the winter - but we all need to find our own path on this topic.

I am very happy with my results going to Mexico for body work, but i have a friend who wants to do a facelift and simply refuses to consider any Mexican surgeons. He likes Costa Rica though - wondering if anybody has suggestions on good surgeons with lots of good success stories there?! Facework, i worry so much about numbness, great results etc - even more concerning than body work in my opinion.

I went to Dr Sauceda in October 2013. very very pleased with my results as well. If you search this forum for his name you will find many posts detailing the whole experience.

Last week I fell into bad habits. I had a "staycation" which involved alot of house and farm projects, a few dates with Theo and lots of going out eating and drinking wine (did a wine walk etc). There were sandwiches, crackers and other carbs involved. And, i didn't step on the scale. I felt fat, like my jeans were feeling tight and yet this morning i weighed 141 - totally maintained. so, maybe I feel fat from the over indulgences? Anyway, my brain is apparently still not really to be trusted on the topic of weight/looks/size/consumption etc. I want to fast a couple of days this week to detox from carbs though! How is everyone doing? Florinda, I realize you had bad experiences in the past with girlfriends, I am just suggesting you open your mind to the possibilities. I think women become better friends as they get a wee bit older and realize we are all on the same team so to speak. I love my guy friends too - don't get me wrong, but the ladies in my social circle are all rocks AND so fun too! I never had girlfriends until about the last 10 years - my mom and my sisters where my girlfriends and I am glad I opened up my heart to these terrific relationships and many fun times with them. So, date 3 with Theo was awesome! We met at 3 and did a tour of a local distillery, did the wine walk, ate dinner on a patio overlooking the Snohomish river - we shut the place down as we sat their talking until closing time so it was another "most of the day" thing. We seem to be hitting it off really well. I managed to navigate the dates so far such that the intimacy topic hasn't been an issue - Saturday for example we were near my home, but my kiddo was home so we didn't consider going to my place. At some point though I am going to have to decide if/when to proceed exploring that because it is important part of a relationship for me and it better be fun! There is only one possible red flag for me about him and I am trying to assess it a bit. He does not have a great relationship with his 3 18 year old sons and it gives him great angst. I am very family oriented so it is always a redflag for me when someone has major relationship issues with their parents/kids/sibs etc - BUT, I also know that 18 year olds can be real PITAs and that in divorce situations sometimes dads get demonized. I wasn't there so it is impossible to really know if he is a mean ass or if his kids just rebel against the one parent who sets boundaries....

I am not cozy on Facebook with any band bashers. I share my experience and observations when asked on a thread like this because I think people should know the bad and sad stories too before making the decision. The people I know with bands are real life. ..Most got bands in the 5 plus years ago range although I know 4 people that were banded more recently. Back in the day there was a very active bandster community where I live and we got together monthly and many stayed in touch. Only one person I know from the 12 plus years ago era still has her band and I haven't talked to her in a few years so who knows. I hope the band design and techniques have improved and that people choosing it have great success but that wasn't my experience. You didn't choose to comment on my statement that I believe that in general complications are under reported in these abstracts and papers - and I gave a specific example related to the sleeve and long term risk of reflux. Too many people go into this not taking seriously the very real long term concerns with ANY WLS. I now view that my thinking when choosing the band was flawed. I was led to believe that I would just eat small quantities of healthy foods and be satisfied and satiated. That didn't happen. I had this fantasy, which was encouraged by some of the paperwork I was given that it was a good thing that the band would need to be removed. . Like I'd reach a point where I just didn't need it. At least for me, that was never and will never be the case. I should have chosen the bypass when I was banded but that apparently was not the path I was meant to follow. And I have taken responsibility for my contribution to losing only 70 and regaining it plus more (over time once i could no longer tolerate fill) while banded. I took those lessons and made a very critical decision when I revised which was choosing a surgeon who emphasize follow up. I needed that and learned that from my band experience how important it was to get a "reset" on my ways of eating and to have more help available. What I will never understand is why people who are not having complications want to blame the patients who do have them. Perhaps it is a way to feel safer from the risks? All I know is I spent way too long loathing myself for my "band failure" when in truth it was never an effective tool for me even before the complications became unbearable. The lapband was very miserable for me and I should have had it removed after 2-3 not 10 years. I am glad there are choices out there. I think the band is a reasonable choice for lower BMI people who are properly educated on it (it was harder to manage than the sleeve) and have a reason they prefer the band but it does not change the fact that there are alot of failures and people investigating options should know that. Plication is a newer one too.. and I am sure new techniques will continue to be developed.

The problem I have with the study on re operations and complications is that it doesn't define the criteria or time frame. I personally, in real life, know many bandsters including myself, and the complication and re operation rates over the long haul is much much higher than the article states. While I realize that my social circle does not constitute a scientific study something just does not seem right The word "complications" means different things to different people. While death rates are surely higher for sleeve and bypass I don't believe at all that complication rates are higher. I think that article understates it for all actually. I read a study a few years back that 30% of sleevers develop reflux. Many of them at around the 3 year mark. In my mind that is a complication. I know that over the 5-10 year time frame the band has an even higher complication rate. To me the moral of the story is that WLS is no cake walk and really should not be done unless all other avenues have been exhausted. They all come with risks AND different "odds of success". Any individual can either exceed or fall short of those statistics but the excess weight loss stats do sorta paint the picture. For me what the stats don't really capture is quality of life for some people's (apparently not all). Example, I spent a decade where a few tastes of rice would send me vomiting even though ALL of that decade I was morbidly obese. I hit my lifetime highest weight while banded, never got under 200# , experienced alot of pain and vomiting, poor medical care and I really really developed hatred toward the port. I had a lot of self loathing over the topic because I felt like all my band issues were caused by me. I even saw that in this thread. ..essentially that "compliant" patients don't have issues with the band. I no longer believe that statement. .or to put it another way.. I didn't get to weighing twice what an average male should weigh by being consistently compliant with ANY THING! I needed WLS to learn those skills and the band just did not deliver the promises a and was not an effective tool for me. And it was embarrassing to vomit which while infrequent with no fill still happened! Since my revision to the sleeve I have just felt normal (after about 3-6 months post op) and am so far maintaining a massive weight loss...went from a BMI over 50 to my current of around 23.

Listen to your body.scrambled eggs are soft but not always agreeable to a new sleeve. Peanut butter made me sick as a dog when I mixed it in a protein drink about 3 weeks out. I feel like you have tried eating a couple of difficult foods. My advice anytime something irritates your stomach to back up to gentler foods. If it were me, I'd be more worried about that then exactly meeting calorie goals for a particular day. Vomiting irritates the tummy too and makes it more prone for another vomit so back off and let it rest with very soft and mild foods that you know are agreeable. You are still very early post sleeve. Hang in there, it gets easier.

In my book..size 8 for a formerly obese is a MAJOR success. I know plenty of ladies who would love to wear that size!

My numbness is only front..between belly button and incision range. My shape changed a fair amount based on feedback from friends. My butt isn't nearly as flat as i feared it would be!

I wish everyone utmost success regardless of the surgery they choose. I was banded in 2001 and had it for 10 years. My unscientific observation of my peers from that time is about 1/3 seem to do really well. Another 1/3 have fair to middling results but I believe never getting to goal is one of the reasons I regained. Another 1/3 just never find that sweet spot between pain and proper restriction. Over the 10 year haul, many did have it removed. In the early days it was always tagged as the patients fault, I think now a little more balanced view of the situation exist....As many of the failures just happen. .no shame no blame. I still feel it is not as good of a tool as the sleeve particularly for high BMI people like I was. The sleeve allows you to eat more quantity but is less persnickety and more consistent. I was one of those who could not deal with the ups and downs of band restriction, I felt pain and reflux if I had fill and tended to eat sliders. I hated doing fills and unfills and the ongoing maintenance was a constant reminder of my failure. The band gave me eating anxiety and the last thing I need is more emotions around food! For me, I also felt weird about the port and a device inside me. I didn't expect that to bug me but it did. I hated that port. I expected to be freaked out at the idea of missing part of my stomach so the sleeve was a desperate last attempt. ..but now that I have it, I feel like I have a normal stomach instead of the always hungry huge capacity one I had pre sleeve. We are all individuals and there is no way of knowing that my "headspace" reflects someone else. I think each person needs to listen with an open mind about all procedures and make the best decision for themselves. I admire the many successful bandsters as I was surely not one of them. It can be done - just be sure you know what you are getting into with any of the procedures. One thing I wished I had done pre band implant was actually meet a banded person who was maintaining a large loss - understand how they eat, feel the port etc. I did that with the sleeve and it helped me "get it" a little.

It's not easy but I think a main success factor is facing that the surgery gets you "launched" but doesn't do the work for you. In the beginning it does and over time it becomes pretty much 100 our choices that do the work. The best way to regain feeling of restriction is to go back to all the sleeve basics including tiny portions. In a few days you are likely to feel restriction again.

My opinion is that you are going through emotional upheaval over giving up food. It's hard but just trust the process. Stop trying to push limits like eating solids too soon and then become anxious over it. Just follow the program and know that it takes awhile before all the nerves heal etc and you feel restriction. It does work but it's a huge adjustment. I lost 160# post sleeve..one at a time... one good choice at a time.

Never is an overstatement. Insurance changes, who knows what the future holds.

In my youth I way undervalued girlfriends...now I see all that way different and I love my women friends. They don't break up with you when life gets serious, they are fun and you can leave them unattended for awhile without risking being replaced. I have male friends too but it's the girlfriends who really care about me. The man I did a few dates with, even if it doesn't work out, I hope he becomes one of my friends. That is what tells me he is a good prospect, that I feel that way.

I love it when an old thread is revived. My current perspective versus 4 months ago. I am in the dating world so have some recent experience with how weight/looks impact perceptions. So maybe every guy fantasizes about the swimsuit model and every woman dreams of a man with a full head of hair...on his head..Haha.. but we dont always get what we want. And if you got it, wouldn't you wonder if he/she considered themselves in a separate league? Isn't it better to find a person you want to roll around with..imperfections and all? A person who is equally mad about you?

Par, first I want to say I welcome your input. I was one of the people who really objected to the rule change about the guys room and ladies room somehow being off limits to each other - so in my book, your input is welcome. i would have even posted this in the mens room at one time...as I am genuinely seeking advice. Having said that, I hate Tom Lykis if he is who i think he is. One time I heard him talk about how gross women are after age 40 (f* that, I am better at 50 than EVER!) ... and how he could not imagine having sex with a woman (referring to someone's wife for crying out loud!) after she had a masectomy due to cancer. His shallow sexism will never be acceptable to me (what an ass), but YOUR point, I get. Many of us could probably use more "cookie" I have never been promiscuous and don't intend to start now, but, I am also a genuine, sensual woman. If I am really into a guy (which I am right now!) I am not into playing games. Heck, if I didn't care about sex I would stick to my platonic friends (girlfriends and male-friends). I enjoy the company of men, and have many as friends, but "boyfriend" situations seem to be fraught with complications I would just as soon do without... but i am not quite ready for the convent yet, so I risk heartbreak and drama to find that special stuff with the right man. I have a strong personality. I work as a project manager and those of you that know what the means, can guess that I am high drive, goal oriented and "damn the torpedos" kind of person. I am fun loving, full of smiles and laughs but also... intense. I believe that often a person's strength is also their biggest fault. What has happened to me in the past is that men are attracted to my highly verbal, intelligent, goal oriented and driven personality complete with all the energy in the world... and then.. well you know. The thing that people don't realize about my "type" is you can say "whoa there cowgirl, slow down" and I am not offended! I am pretty tough, I can take genuine feedback. My girlfriends think I am the life of the party and aren't scared of me...haha... cuz they know I am a sweetheart and genuinely care about them! What makes this guy so special to me ... besides the great kissing, the hot looks, serious intelligence and common interests... is that he seems to get all that. i just don't want to mess it up as I feel like I sometimes have in the past.... unwittingly. I dunno, this whole dating thing seems like it should come with a manual. Right now, I want to call him, but, I won't because everyone tells me that isn't cool and to just let him come after me. I am like... come after me! (oops, I am not supposed to say that, right?)

Haha...I totally understand living vicariously, in many ways superior to the real thing. Just to clarify. ..This isn't a relationship yet... who knows where it will go.

I am not a sexual turnip. Buse bar (or something like that) is supposed to work well but I haven't tried it. My goal is to be OFF meds ASAP. I am learning better coping skills and have eliminated anxiety provoking people from my world... Both of which help loads. Florinda do you have a posse of good girlfriend s? I have been seriously nurturing those relationships last few years and it is paying off big time. I am so much more content these days. Even so I miss my kisses cuddles and sex so trying again. I met someone who is quite literally a rocket scientist. physics degrees and a career designing stealth war machines. He is also fit, affectionate, engaging and fun...and we have many shared interests. Early days...and I am trying hard to not get hopes up. ... but I really like him. He ran huge programs so he understands my personality type and we have actually discussed that stuff. He likes to dance, travel and rides horses and is a great kisser. I kicked his ass hiking and he loved it... told me it motivated him to workout a little harder. 12 hour date ...but I didn't want it to end. Like. ..hard to find such a combination! We almost have talked ourselves into going paragliding. He is afraid of heights and I get anxious in those sort of extreme trust situations. ..but I think we might challenge ourselves to take the leap! We shall see but it is fun for the moment anyway.

A few times I have happen that after about 3 or 4 dates the guy says he doesn't feel chemistry even though he thought I was sexy fin smart etc. I used to think that was code for sex did not show up soon enough but I think i do something that doesn't make them feel drawn in. It takes me a long time to feel bonded with a person so i don't really know what people mean by chemistry. I totally agree with being myself but there is something to flirting and stuff to help the process along.