CowgirlJane

I think you are very brave to have posted this. There is a difference between confidence, asserting yourself, standing up for yourself and being mean. I wonder (just a guess) if you are struggling with finding that balance? Alot changes when you lose massive weight and while it is awesome to get healthier, alot of these changes aren't so easy to deal with. What I will say is that getting the emotional side "handled" is probably a key thing for long term maintenance. If you can't live at peace with yourself, with people you care about, you might start using food again to "regulate moods" No judgement from me, here I am - will be 3 years out in December and I feel like I am finally "leveling out" and no longer vascilating between low confidence/uncomfortable in my skin and feelings of high emotions. It takes time, and often times help and advice from a great counselor or advisor. Good luck!

Someone who was very close to me for many years, is my same age (we celebrated our bog 4-0 together 10 years ago!) is laying near death in a skilled nursing facility. It has been sad and shocking for someone so young to be taken by brain cancer. I was up visiting on Saturday even though she is no longer aware of our presence. I was walking down the hall at this nursing home and a woman in a wheelchair who looked to be at least in her 90s spoke to me in a clear and strong voice ... "what color is your hair?" Me: "Brown" Grand Lady: "I see auburn too" Me: "Yes, I have some red in it too. " Grand Lady: "You should thank God you are so beautiful and have such lovely hair" I was stunned. While I realize that she probably has dementia and likely has this same conversation with every woman that walks down the hall, it actually was a very wise remark and gave me pause... a reason to stop and ask myself if I am remembering to be grateful. I was reminded to thank God daily for everything I have - not really just appearances but everything. I get to go out and enjoy life. I can run, jump, breath, laugh, hike up a mountain, go dancing, go out and play with my friends, ride my horse on a beautiful day. Enjoy life and remember to give thanks. I was able to do some of these things as a super morbidly obese person, but it is ingrained in my life now... and that is a good thing.

It is tough. I think you are wise to seek therapy because I feel so HAPPY to be enjoying my slimmer, healthier body. I want that for everyone. I have my struggles too - don't get me wrong - but the dismorphia I have seemed to have beaten into submission. Good riddance!

Sorry my pics were messed up. Posting from my phone or kindle and it just kept saying it was failing... argg. Okay, anybody looking for a little drama for entertainment? You really miss the whole story though if you don't get the nasty private messages from the OP. she apparently has ripped pretty much everyone a new one if they don't fall in line with her... or dare challenge her in anyway. What a weirdo, but an entertaining one. I admit my original post was short and perhaps a bit terse but you would have thought i had murdered someone from the tone of the PM she sent me. And, I bite my tongue and don't ask the obvious question -- you had WLS and you only have 50# to lose? Do you have any idea the long term risk you have just taken on woman? http://www.gastricsleeve.com/forum/questions-and-answers-for-those-considering-a-gastric-sleeve/51229-why-such-high-goal-weights-2.html#post463038 So, I have been having too much fun lately... scale popped up 5# this morning. oops. Time to buckle down a bit. And stop going to soo many wine events. I have one more on Thursday.... argghhh

Wow, incredible pictures Sarah! Lovely family. Denise do not write back or respond...it sends mixed signals.just by responding you give him something to grab hold of. He really seems needy.

Woo woo and miss mac...you both made me laugh so hard .. I nearly shot wine out my nose...haha

I will write more later...but I am fine. Betty is pain free and having a peaceful passing. I have seen he'll on earth..and as a way to die, hers ain't so bad

Spent yesterday with Betty. She no longer awakens. When she stirs it means pain and morphine is given. It won't be long now. I cried my eyes out lster, she is just 50. I found a photo of a birthday cake the year we turned 40 together. Cake had our names on it together. My kiddo and I went to a blues music festival where we met some of my friends and acquaintances. My friends boyfriend taught me some basic couples dance steps...fun!

I post on another sleeve forum where I have really pissed off someone. She is one of those that her starting weight is the same as many people's goal weight. She referred to weighing in the 180s as "gross" and couldn't understand why people s goal weights are so high and I called her on it publicly so she sent me a very nasty PM over it. So I found it a bit funny but also realized she is full of assumptions that are incorrect. My first inclination was to just delete it my second was to actually explain to her how terribly beat down super morbidly obese people are and reading her judgemental tone .. Well set me off. Actually I realize that I sort of have an issue with people who get sleeved to lose relatively small amount of weight. It doesn't seem like the right use of the surgery. There is another post of someone who has lost 30of the 40# she needs to lose. Since she didn't follow doc instructions she has no idea how to lose the last 10. Since it's none of my business who gets surgery I don't comment on that angle but admit I am biased and more likely to be annoyed at that. The image in my head is some skinny woman walking into Lane Bryant and saying in a disgusted voice "I can't believe how HUGE these clothes are! These people are just gross."

Well going back to your nutrionalist or surgeon might be good to get support and guidance. Myfitnesspal is an awesome tracking tool for food and activity. The key is to go back to the basics of eating to lose weight. Are you saying you don't know what those basics are?

Love it when an old thread is revived. This was 3 month ago. .. I still say...leave me alone. . My body! My bmi remains at 23... I pray that I make this same claim many years from now. But for now.. I cling tenaciously to a "normal" weight. I know I have sisters of the same family. ..The people with the disease of obesity with symptoms currently under control.

I have suggestions but low on time right now so just sharing first idea. Did I understand that you only followed the eating plan for one month? How close to goal are you? My first suggestion is to do a big reset. Eat super clean for a week...endure the hunger temporarily because it will pay off. The simple way is to do a liquid diet (Protein shakes) for a week to "reset" things. Avoid Protein Bars and any high carb processed food during that week. Google pouch test for different approaches but the point is to sort of start over and help get the feeling of restriction back.

Had a nice time Friday. Some aspects of incompatibility revealed themselves. I am still going to see him as they aren't showstoppers but I think I should keep it light,not serious for awhile and casually date others while we figure out if this can really go anywhere. Sigh.

If a person has never been obese they just have no way of knowing that the body is changed by obesity and it is very hard to maintain any kind of weight loss without surgery. Her body works normally so if she gains a couple of pounds she cuts back until it's gone. It's like telling a diabetic, just produce the right amount of insulin at the right time will ya!?!

Well it is not logical to think that if you have only 50# to lose that you will lose 50# as fast as someone who has 150# to lose. You are likely to get to goal faster but not likely to noise 50# as fast. Consider yourself lucky, after I lost 50# I still had 110# to go.

Hello, I am 2.5years out and actually don't care that much about food these days. I do alot of salad with Protein, omelettes with veggies and protein etc etc. I don't know what you mean about a side of slime. I don't eat that. I do eat salmon, chicken, other fish, beef etc. My favorite meals are cooked in nice restaurants.

You are fortunate to have a man who is crazy about you just the way you are. Although it didn't work out long term, I saw someone for about a year who helped me see myself through more realistic eyes. And taught me alot of self confidence in my looks and body. Listen to him not your inner critical voice.

You are so young! My revision to the sleeve was life changing, life saving and I am a huge advocate. ..however. .you need to be ready. Really really ready. I will truly admit that I was a young mother at your age and not sure I could have applied myself to lasting success given my career, husband and babies. It is permanent and a big decision. I am not trying to talk you out of it just suggesting you listen to your inner voice too. Does your insurance cover counseling? How about a session or two with someone who specializes in WLS patients to discuss your delimna?

Jess. ..not upset with you. ..no harm no foul...I just feel adamant about the point since I know others -pre ops in particular read these kind of threads is all .

I agree completely that needing to lose 50-60 is a whole different weight class than I was in...needing to lose 150-170 range! I am also happy there are choices as all surgeries have pros and cons and people should consider them carefully. What I took issue was the remark that you can tell "by looking" at someone that they were sleeved it simply isn't true. I am 50 and I look good and healthy compared to women my age and I think remarks like that scare people off from finding real solutions to the obesity that is killing them. I know I used to believe that about gastric bypass and it just isn't true...if you eat well, exercise etc it will show up in your health. The attached photo is me with no makeup, no shower, bed hair..haha...The pale skin is my Irish genetics not poor health. I have really good labs and will be 3 years out in December

Jess I agree with listening to surgeons and Plication might be the next great thing but it is completely bull that sleeve patients are not healthy or healthy looking. My blood work is perfect, I hike, bike and ride horses like a demon. I am fit active and attractive and your remark is insulting.

The consult I had in usa she estimated about 5# of skin...I thought it would be more but since I didn't have much fat it turned out to be 5.5#. I lost a lot of weight so I guess my skin did bounce back some...

The consult I had in usa she estimated about 5# of skin...I thought it would be more but since I didn't have much fat it turned out to be 5.5#. I lost a lot of weight so I guess my skin did bounce back some...

I can't emphasize enough how much of this is a "head game". Yeah, we have extra skin but if you take an objective look around there are plenty of less than perfect bodies out there! Love what ya got, make the most of it, enjoy life. Do not let lack of perfection slow you down! No matter how skinny, pretty, cute, smart, rich OR WHATEVER you are - there is always someone "better". Who cares - all we can do is be our best selves right here and now. I had plastics but I have significant extra wrinkles on torso under my arms. Affectionately known as "side boobs". It can be annoying that I sometimes don't buy a close fitting top because the side boobs show. Or, more importantly, I have to choose bras and swimsuit tops carefully so they don't emphasize that extra skin. Whenever I catch my self "woe is me" over my side booms I say a little prayer of thanks that I have extra skin and NOT extra fat there anymore. I mean - what is it about us that we beat ourselves senseless over extra skin when we are just so aweome???

I think this process is a bit about learning about what works. I started out tracking every morsel of food as that is a proven success strategy. What my NUT noticed is that I had been doing that for a lifetime, and yet always gained weight back. She challenged me to stop doing that and to eat more intuitively... my rate of losses actually increased! I know this is risky territory and I don't advocate it for all, but I had emotional baggage over tracking food and apparently stopping that worked for me. I do weigh frequently. During weight loss phase, daily. Now, at least 3X a week. I don't get stressed by small variations and it helps me feel accountable. If I am feeling "fat" it reassures me that i don't suddenly weigh 300#. If I am feeling cocky and the number starts sliding upward, it reminds me to refocus. I encourage you to find the balance that works for YOU. I do believe strongly in accountability, but it takes different forms for different people.