CowgirlJane

Woo hoo! You ladies are doing great! I am easing further off the lexapro - skipped a dose yesterday and still feel good. Florinda, how did the 100 first dates go last week? I am trying to decide if I should just give up on men my age and take a girlfriends advice and go all cougar...ha! I was contacted by someone fit and handsome who is 37 from POF. A very young man (he admitted he isn't quite 30 - yikes) from the meetup is very interested in me. Not.quite.sure. I can do THAT! Ha. Anyway, gotta have a good sense of humor about this big joke called dating.

I think it is amazing that you got insurance coverage. I paid in the ballpark of 16K for Lower body lift, arms, breast lift/implants and a small thigh lift with DR Sauceda. That was all inclusive of garments, hotel, airfare etc. Out of pocket was meals for me after I left the clinic, and meals and travel for my friend that I brought with me. So, anyway, I think what you are paying is very reasonable and when I did consults in the USA, I found that many of the estimates didn't cover extras like the garments etc. so it added up fast. In fact, since in the USA they would have done it over 3 surgeries, I never actually found out what the total cost would be ... Many of Dr S patients get the vertical incision due to the massive skin above the belly button. The results can be astoundingly good - like they get a real waist back. They all say the scar was worth it. I was lucky to not need that since the way I scar on my torso, they are nice and flat but keep some redness (all scars, not just my plastics scars)

I am an organizer in a meetup group and have done public functions at the Bothell library.... free! They let you bring in beverages, Snacks if you want. The rooms book up fast so you have to plan in advance. Okay, the reason I have been hesitant to organize anything is #1 summer I am really busy with outdoorsy stuff so just didn't want to committ. Now that the season has changed, more open to the idea of participating #2 I don't really like the content/structured materials. I didn't actually agree with some of the things in there, to each his own, but I can't lead a discussion on how to eat etc. when I am really just an expert on "me". #3 I would be much more likely to do something if it was active - a walk, a bike ride, a hike - but I realize that preops may not be comfortable/at that level of fitness and it would make me sad for anyone to feel excluded so that has stopped me from getting too excited. #4 I am just not a support group kinda person so I would hate to start something and then walk away. I am a veteran, and happy to share my story - I am very comfortable with public speaking am open with my pix, etc. - but this is why I haven't stepped up to make it happen and probably won't unless something really changes.

I will be 3 years out in Dec. I eat about the same as other slender women. Portion control and avoiding junky stuff most (not all) of the time.

I went to NYC with my grown sons a year ago and loved it! I really want to go again but would be solo this time!

This spring... After being at goal more than a year, I went through a rough patch. I just could hardly eat. Of course my first reaction was a "sleeve problem". My surgeon was on vacation so I had to see someone I didn't know. He was compassionate and offered all the tests... scopes etc but told me honestly my symptoms didn't really match likely surgery related issues. Turned out I was lonely. Under and over eating are sides of the same coin. I had to make conscious choices to EAT properly and then sure enuf... got better. I am sharing this as words of encouragement. This journey isn't always easy but it has been so worth it. Look at my profile for before and afters and it tells a story.

Awesome! I forgot to tell you that I ate too many calories but doing good on carbs!

Take it as a compliment! Your peeps are proud of your accomplishments and you should be too!!!

Have you considered counseling? I am not trying to minimize your feelings but I have been through childbirth, banding, disbanding, sleeved, hernia repair, plastics.... sleeve was hard because it was hard to stay hydrated and everything tasted weird....and that was back when I cared a lot about food. From a pain perspective tho...sleeve was easy by comparison (that port when banded hurt!) Don't get me started about childbirth: 12 on a painscale of 1-10! I think alot of it is mental attitude. It's hard, you have given up a lover and so called friend (over eating) and your whole darn world has been turned upside down. I think I was a little depressed post sleeve and never believed I would look or feel normal again. I was right..nearly 3 years post op and I am on fire!!! Just wish I had been able to become slim/normal decades ago!!!

Statistically that seems to be true, but there are plenty of us who revised and did lose well. I think it depends alot on circumstances and expectations. If you are very near goal and you revise, you will have to fight to get those last pounds off! If you are more like me, and had completely regained/no value from band anymore, I think it is a different story. I used the knowledge of this risk to think hard about what to do differently and I think that helped. Here is a summary of my stats: March 2001: banded at 272 March 2002: lowest weight about 205 late 2003: fill removed due to intolerable reflux and too much vomiting... regaining June 2005: lifetime highest weight 332# 2006: Lost 85 pounds on weight watchers and spent a number of years weighing in the 240s range 2009-2011: Fluctuating between 270s-310 range - diet after diet.... December 2011: start of preop 308/ surgery day 300# February 2013: hit goal of 158# (lost 150# in 14 months) Oct 2013: weighed 150# had plastics April 2014: weighed about 140# Current (Sept 2014): ranging 140-145# I will be 3 years out from surgery in just a few months. I have had huge success with the sleeve and very poor with the band. I learned alot from my band experiences and have tried to leverage it!

Okay, I know this sounds weird, but as a formerly obese, I still hate wearing things that I think make me look bigger than I am. My calves are like 13.5 " but I have big feet - 9s usually, so every boot I try on is big around the calf. One pair, they actually sorta fell down while I walked around the store. So, I realized that every model has skinny legs (way skinnier than mine!) and they don't seem worried about it so I just need to get over it, but it feels weird to wear boots that I feel like I could put my arm in there too.... As an apple shape, I never had thick legs (well except the horror that was my inner thigh) and I don't think I measured them pre WLS so not sure how much they shrunk.

par, you might not be correctly intepeting remarks. I have invested months getting to know someone, at his pace, not mine. And in the end I find I am one in a long string of "not good enough" and it has nothing to do with sex. Fine, but at some point with this guy he probably needs to think about if he actually wants the relationship he claims he wants

Okay, old post and I have more dating experience now. What I have found is nobody cares that I used to be BIG. I don't have much saggy skin but do have PS scars - they have healed well and I don't hide them - so all summer wearing sleeveless so the opportunity to notice them has been there and nobody seems to care. I think the real issue for me is that I don't want to hop around in terms of intimate relations and finding someone to see for at least the medium term has been a challenge. I am contributing to this by being ridiculously picky (fitness, looks, compatibility, attraction etc) and the guys my age are contributing to this by being so damn scared of actually "getting close" to someone. I also realize that I get uncomfortable meeting men in some social situations - like when I go out dancing I get men expressing interest in me quite frequently but I back away... I feel awkward ... maybe I even feel a tiny bit afraid, not sure...I am trying to learn more about myself on this topic because i realize I am slamming doors before giving it a chance. So, I am today on the fence about 3 options: 1. Give up entirely and live life without a physical relationship - i have tons of friends, hobbies, go dancing alot etc so this is a viable option! 2. Go younger - they seem to have way less baggage and while not likely for a long term, thinking maybe finding someone to see and do stuff with for awhile could come out of that. Yes, I realize they are looking more for a FWB situation, but at least they can deliver on the benefits! (ok, I am being a bit jaded here...) 3. Go back to my old boyfriend who has issues but at least is "safe" and fun and not such a waste of time that I have found dating to be. We care about each other even though there are definate issues. 4. Keep on being open to the possibility... but it hasn't worked out too well for me so far so today, right now, that doesn't feel very promising.

Congratulations! You look wonderful!

Another idea .. middle of the night foraging is an old bad habit of mine so when the urge hits and I can't sleep I have a premier protein drink. 30 grams of protein and 5 carbs. It is thick and soothing and sweet so it satisfies that urfe.

Great tips... but consider that the pepcid ac might not be effective. Try proselec or nexium... sometimes different people respond to different drugs.

Mine is inherited as well. My mom had bouts of anxiety that were severe. My only full sister was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder in her late 20s. Somehow I managed to brute force myself to do ok without treatment for a very long time but when I gave up over eating I lost one of my coping mechanism. My counselor said I am very resilient, but it just got to be too much. Anyway I can't tolerate the meds ..never heard of using yeast.

WLS... the ONLY way out for some of us.

Thank you Jessi - I am getting the idea that this is a very common issue in our age range. I have a friend who is a bombshell, tall, blonde, mid 40s and she was about ready to give up too.... It is like they are attracted to your looks but then you start to realize the emotional issues people have, how they often really have issues with women, aren't over their ex, are very negative... whatever the case may be. I am sure men have the same issues because I guess there is a reason we find ourselves single at this stage of life. I probably need to get over some of my criteria - i am simply not attracted to 95% of the men within 5-7 years of my age, but I don't want a young boyfriend playmate. I want someone who at least for awhile, is in a good relationship with me but he should be fit enough to keep up with me. I don't think that is asking alot, it isn't like I am a super athlete but I can do a 9-10 mile hike up and down a mountain and not alot of 50-60 year olds seem to be at that level. I get hit on alot... but so wildly inappropriate sometimes (Saturday night, it was a guy in his 20s!) but mostly so incredibly unattractive to me if they are near my age - usually way older actually (that also happened Saturday night). I need to get over that, but i can't help that i am just not drawn to someone who looks like santa claus (not fit, older looking, not youthful in attitude). I am being a brat i guess, but I would rather be solo than with someone who doesn't interest me. I don't think it is fair to even date guys that just don't attract me. Anyway, I am fine. I go dancing with a social group every week. I have a plan a plan to take actual dance lessons so I can do couples dancing more confidently. I am thinking about joining some organizations (I am not a big joiner really but my horse community is all women so i need to find groups with a better mix) of outdoorsy people because that is where I will find fit men my age. I do find them on the dating websites, and attract them okay, but I am not doing so well with picking the emotionally available ones... so far... 2 out of 2 have turned out to really be cut off from the possibilities of even becoming friends, in spite of their stated intentions. (BTW, it might be me - I get it - but they tell me they LIKE me and enjoy being with me so it is hard to know.) I think I just haven't found the right man for this stage of my life. Okay, I have vented enough. Carry on!

Denise, cardio and staying busy helped me manage my anxiety for a long time, but it eventually blew up. In fact, I almost want to say that "sweating it off" in the end made it worse. I don't have the answers, but I stopped formal exercise after I got hurt by the personal trainer last winter. My anxiety is much lower, largely due to the help from the lexapro, but also because i started facing it rather than being the hamster on the wheel running it off. I have restarted exercise for exercise sake, but not using it to burn off the extra juice.... I am no expert but I read that that sort of "seeking exercise endorphins" can make anxiety worse. Experts recommend yoga, mediation and that sort of thing instead. What I hate about anxiety is that it isn't about anything in particular so it can't be solved in the way I normally tackle problems..

So, I started lexapro a few months ago - really helped with anxiety. Even on tiny doses, I am having bad side effects so we had the big talk about what to do next. I am bravely going to try to wean off and learn other coping skills for anxiety. I am not going to start the weaning until I feel less anxious about feeling anxious...ha. She told me that is classic PTSS - you get so wound up about anticipating anxiety that is more anxiety provoking than anything else! Anyway, she thinks I am ready because i have coped with a lot very well this summer. I want to be off that damn drug, but I am scared. It is making me rethink if i should do 5:2 becuase like I mentioned... I suspect, not sure, but suspect, it impacts my moods.

Love what everyone has said. I have been successful beyond my widest dreams. Read these forums, model yourself after others...and the. Just do it. That is my tip, persevere. Work that sleeve. There is no perfection there is just doing each and every day (paraphrase of Julian Michaels)

That's a scary thought! All I need is another self absorbed intellectual with so much baggage he'd have to pay the overcharge at the airport....

Dee - I think that one step at a time is a good approach. I have also been drinking too much wine, I am not sure why exactly. Well, some of it is alot of partying and socializing. I have had both the best summer ever (fun, friends, activities) and a pretty freaking rotten one (death, sadness, that mournful feeling of a whole life just ending in a trainwreck - Betty). So, then maybe the glass of wine also becomes a "decompression" from the pain which is the bad part. Anyway, I don't get drunk and don't feel like an alcoholic, but there really isn't a good reason for me to have a glass or two everyday. I don't wish to quit, but I can cut back and feel good about that. I am now doing that. I personally feel that dependance on junky food is actually worse. I work very hard to keep soothing foods out of my life (ice cream, cakes etc) because they make me feel physically horrible and trigger over eating in general. I am blessed that since the sleeve ice cream makes me "dump" - it is hellish and I tell you cured me of reliance on my favorite "sedation" - ice cream. I know how stressful travel can be - especially when you do it alot like you do (I used to). when I was obese I used business travel as an excuse to basically eat whatever whenever since time zones and plane schedules makes for an even more "disorganized" view then my daily eating life was (it was disorganized already, travel made it worse!). I don't have a good answer, but when I travel now, I put on my "be tough" mindset because it is so easy to fall into overindulgence when I am lonely, stressed and overly tired. Anyway girl, I hope you can turn your work life into something happier. I really believe that having a life you love is one of the keys to success over the long run... and we are likely to live longer too!

It's 10:30am, I am starving...haha, but did get in an intense 30 minute workout on top of my farm chores... got multivitamins in but haven't choked down the calcium yet. Okay, a good but hungry start! No shame on the scale, I say use whatever accountability works for you. Reason I don't food track is my NUT figured out I had been "tracking" on and off since I put myself on my first diet in 3rd grade. Lots of shame and failure associated with it, even more than the scale so it triggers bad feelings. I say find an accountability method that keeps you "out of the shame zone"!