CowgirlJane

now, that is my idea of a support group!!

I will be 3 years in December... close enough? I have lost over 160#. My start weight was 308 (lifetime high recorded was 332) and now weigh in the 145 ballpark... big big big change! Hardest challenge for me is slowly peeling the onion and realizing all the things that I used/abused food for. I had disordered eating... not so much an eating disorder. I see that as a metaphor for other things in my life. I am smart, successful, outgoing, love to have fun, high drive... lots of good things... but, there are issues. I was so "over food" by the time i had WLS that I didn't suffer too badly from the emotional deprivation some others express. (I remember a woman on this forum calling 911 on herself.. she was wildly out of control emotionally post op! Could not deal with not being able to stuff herself..oh my..). My "issues" showed up later - really, after I hit goal. I now know why I ALWAYS regained after losing weight in my youth... i basically freaked out about being trim/normal. That sounds insane, but it is the truth. I learned that I had anxiety issues that I masked with over eating. I learned that I sometimes feel pretty lonely, previously masked with food, watching TV, reading excessively and other "numbing" techniques. I learned that I blocked people from being close... I used my fatsuit as a shield at times. I write often (in the ladies room and vet forums mostly) about learning new social skills... about becoming fully human really. Learning skills most others learned in their youth but I somehow missed out on. This site has proved invaluable to me. I bare my soul pretty regularly in hopes that it helps others... but mostly because it helps ME! I am a work in progress, even though I have been under goal for awhile. I continually practice being more "open", more expressive, more ALIVE. People who know me .. trust me... and give me honest feedback. It is so helpful. A skinny minny rich b*tch friend influenced me alot. She told me that when I was obese I was polite, but intimidating. Like... I held most people (there were exceptions) at a distance. when I lost weight, she told me I became a magnet and she just wanted to be with me. It wasn't about how i looked.. it was about how I acted! So strange, because in my head, I always think I don't "look" good enough. This woman is a bombshell, and I felt judged by her, but I realize now it was me with thie issue - not her!!! She likes me, trusts me and is attracted to me as a friend. Truth is, looks account for VERY LITTLE. it is your openness, your lovingness, your self confidence, your joy... that people respond to. WHO KNEW??????

Mis, I was gonna book something at the Bellevue library because the Bothell library meeting room is closed due to construction! The Lyon's Den is impossible to get a room in the evening too! Let me know how things progress, I live very nearby Bothell. I am nearly 3 years out and maintaining below goal. Happy to support you in any way organizing something here at the north end, but I am generally out horse back riding, cowboy chasing (haha, thats a joke) and dancing on the weekends so week nights work better for me!

I did and it was ok. I had it done at my surgical practice. I think they just need to be informed.

I did the calculator for fun. It said bypass I would be 181; sleeve 199 and band 217. I was band to sleeve revision. I never got under 200 with band brefore regaining and my starting weight was lower back in 2001. I am currently maintaining about 145 with sleeve

Oh, I think one of the anxiety triggers was the two week liver shrinking diet. I didn't realize at the time that I ABUSED food to self medicate/ manage my anxiety. My comfort foods were not available on the preop diet and I just amped up. Life post WLS has been quite a self discovery. I didn't realize how much of an anxiety problem I had until I stopped numbing it with food.

Full on freak out starting a few weeks preop. I had a final preop meeting with my surgeon about a week preop and told him I was determined, motivated, felt I had to do this to save my life but was having panic attacks and couldn't sleep. He gave me a short term anxiety prescription that got me through that final week. I was most scared of the anesthesia. The morning of my surgery I met with the anesthesiologist and he promised me he wouldn't let me stop breathing. It helped alot and by the time I was in the OR being prepped he gave me a nod..like.."I gotcha" and I knew I was gonna make it. Best decision ever..now maintaining a 160# loss!!!!

Be careful about statistics. Many people do not maintain a normal BMI say 5 years out. I would argue that if I regain to 200# and become obese again I would still be a success verus weighing over 300# and fighting every day to keep from gaining more. I think what the long term stats tell us is that 1. most people regain some weight down the road; 2. some never do that well or regain all and 3. some get to a healthy weight and maintain it. Statistics average all that together. It is misleading to say that 50 percent fail in my opinion. I am working hard to stay in category 3...but it takes some determination. So why do people regain? Because it's freaking hard to eat small and healthy in a fattening world! Look around at all the people over say 45 who are quite overweight! The WLS is a great tool but as time goes on it takes more personal diligence. I am almost 3 years out and could easily eat my way back to obesity. I don't need much food but sometimes I want it!

Haha love it... I am a formerly (mostly) forever fluffy too. also, I was very high BMI. My surgeons office refused to set a "goal" because what they did not want me to lose a bunch of weight and then feel disappointed since I didn't hit a certain number. I started at 308 (I am 5'5"). I decided that if i could get under 200# and MAINTAIN that would be a wild success story since I always regained in the past. As I got rolling, I decided to shoot for a little slimmer and set my goal weight as 158... still overweight but losing a nice round 150#. Arbitrary, but it felt right. I hit that weight in Feb 2013 and felt great, single digit clothing sizes, looked good, good health, etc. I regained 5# over the summer of 2013 and when I tackled relosing those, I got down to 150...woo hoo... that was good too! Then, earlier this year I lost another 10 and got to 140. Right now, I am about 145 and working hard to stay in that ballpark. My BMI is in the 23ish range but i was okay at 26-27 BMI too (I started at over 50 BMI!). My surgeon told me that getting under 30 BMI addresses the health concerns... So, my advice is to set goals, but to recognize that you can have amazing success without necessarily getting to a number on a chart (even though i keep referring to numbers..ha!). Celebrate your success, get to a weight you can actually maintain and love life!!!

You will get alot of replies I am sure! I also suggest you do a "search" for the word regret or regrets to see comments from many on this topic. Full disclosure - no regrets - I went from BMI over 50 to a normal BMI and am maintaining below my personal goal. I lost over 160# !! - I feel like the sleeve saved my life. I have been reading these forums for a few years and the regrets generally come in 3 camps: 1. Recently sleeved; struggling with the first weeks or months post op. Vast majority of these people change their minds down the road. 2. Minority of people who have complications. That is an interesting catagory because there are a few people who have gone through really rough time, but generally once they come out the other side they are glad they are sleeved! 3. People who do not achieve lasting weight loss - disappointed with results. To me, that is the tough category. This does happen. I have had great success, but I am nearly 3 years out and i need to warn you - at this stage "maintenance" is more about me and less about the sleeve... I could have never gotten here without the sleeve and it does help me maintain, but you need to have very realistic expectations about what WLS can do for you and what it can't...

Well, I have really enjoyed this thread, so thought i would share an update on 2 fronts. First, I have tried "slightly" modifying my dress. Saturday night I went out to blues music with a meetup group. I also invited a guy I met a week ago (not a date, just invited him out) so I would have a male dance partner..haha. He is a terrible dancer, but a sweet guy and we had a nice time. Anyway, I dressed myself and looked in the mirror and said... I am doing it again. Not.quite.right for the occasion. So, I switched to dark blue skinny jeans instead of the black ones. I put on a loose, comfy top that did not emphasis my breasts. I put on a brand new blingy belt which was perfect for the "saloon" setting I was going to... dressed up in a country casual kinda way. Then I wore black booties instead of hot heels. Very comfy, and a little edgy without being overdone. OMG - I was asked to dance, every time I walked to the bar or bathroom, I noticed eyes following me. It worked - it was attention in the RIGHT way. I had women compliment on my belt, my outfit. I think I am getting a little bit better at this and i really appreciate my friend that gave me the feedback. Like, I was very happy with how i dressed, it was my style, it pleased me - but it also somehow just fit the setting too, better than I usually do I think. I am continually improving my social skills and the image I want to project... a work in progress! Second update, guy I met in the parking lot which is how this whole thread began...haha. We have talked on the phone a few times, and he LOVES to dance and says he actually knows how. He asked me last night how my swing dance lessons are going - and i told him I am a rank beginner, but having fun. So, we are hitting the town next Friday night (it's a small town!) where there are like 3-4 live music places in walking distance to each other with no cover charge and we are going dancing. I am excited to actually dance with someone that knows what he is doing, listen to some bands and have a date with zero expectations other than having fun dancing. I for some reason had a hard time finding that sort of thing via online dating and have completely given up on that - I became jaded and needed a fresh start and decided the real life meeting people suits me better! Yesterday, I had another missed opportunity. My girlfriend and I were riding our horses in a fairly urban area - a shared use trail with lots of hikers, bikes etc. We helped a group of hikers that were lost - led them back to civilization..haha. We rode fast most of the ride and just had a hoot of a time. Anyway, talked for a long time with a solo guy who was seeking navigational guidance as well. We talked bikes, hikes, horses, weather everything. No ring. He said his sister has horses and he wants to ride, so I should have said "hey, I have a beginner safe extra horse always looking for someone to exercise him - want to go for a ride with me sometime?" which would have led to a phone number exchange. I don't know why I didn't say that as he was clearly dropping hints... i think maybe my friend being there or something. Anyway, my goal is to just keep being more "open" and giving guys a chance to ask me for my phone number. I realize that I often shut them down - unintentionally - old self protective habits I guess. My girlfriend told me she has always been that way too - not very good at flirting or taking the initiative with men. Practice, practice practice...

Wearing belts is one of my NSV! I NEVER wore them when i was obese. I don't always wear them, but since I have no butt, it keeps my pants in place - ha! I feel like my words often don't come across as supportive, so I was hesitant to respond to the very sobering wakeup call of the scale and clothing sizes - I have been there countless times and really do know the pain. My intention is to be supportive, but my own views of things are perhaps not commonly shared - I don't know. If what i have to say does not reasonant, then just leave it be - we all need to find our own way of the emotional/mental part of this weight management thing. What I can share is my personal experience - I come from a LIFETIME of obesity and overweight. Seriously, starting about age 5-6 until my sleeve I was overweight, obese or SMO except for maybe about 2 years total during my teens and early 20s - I got slim a couple of times but freaked out and quickly regained, so I am probably exagerating to say I was normal weight for a total of 2 years - maybe 2 weeks - ha! So, lets say I have about 40 years experience beating myself to a pulp over what the scale says and how awful I felt like I looked. It didn't work and just made me feel bad. I look back and remember weighing say 160-170 and feeling like a huge cow - ridiculous! How much better my life would have been had I been able to accept that weighing more than other "girls" was okay and natural for me? Heck, this morning I was at 145.8 and you know what crossed my mind? A close friend that is my age, is 2" taller and weighs 117. She weighs 30 pounds less and is a real hottie - damn, why can't I be that? Totally ridiculous line of thinking and I shut that down right away! That shame cycle is part of why I gained and got to such a high BMI. Shame and self loathing never really helped me and I have alot of practice at it. I no longer feel humiliation over being up a few pounds. I don't want to regain, but I know statistically it is very likely to happen to me - at least a partial regain. I am diligent but I also recognize I am worth more than the scale or a clothing size and you are all too. I think we all need to remind ourselves that we are worthy people, we are not the only ones who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and our value as a human being has nothing to do with how we look or what some chart says we should weigh or what society says we should look like. (or what a close friend weighs or looks like!) Yeah, easier said than done, but for me personally, I need to be in that head space or I risk freaking out and needing to use food or SOMETHING to feed the internal demons that rear their heads. I am making alot of progress on slaying those demons and not feeding them to keep them quiet... it is an ongoing process but it feels like a good direction for me.

Bling belt!

Well, I would question your judgment if you weren't at least a little nervous! !! Alot of great tips have been shared but here are a few things I did... I picked a couple of people who I related to (band to sleeve revision, high BMI women) and followed the successful ones. By follow I mean paid attention to them. I learned a lot but it also helped me "believe". I also spent time reading success stories and looking at inspirational before and after photos. I stayed away from the complications and misery threads because I wanted to focus on success. Let's be honest, most if not all of us dislike Protein drinks and would rather eat fries, but there is a certain amount of "buckling down and getting er done" required. The good news is that down the road you'll be living a normal life, no longer morbidly obese and wondering what all the fuss was about. of course that is why maintenance is so hard...A few years down the road you can eat much more etc. So it takes a different kind of work. It is worth it for me... single digit clothing coming from the 3x land is a life game changer in many ways.

I weigh 147 and i want to weigh 140. It is frustrating but i have decided that my mental health, which is good right now, is more important than the scale. My main goal is to stop gaining and hold er steady. I saw an awesome blues band last night. I invited someone I met fairly recently (not dating) and he told me it just him how gorgeous I am. I decided to remind myself of that when I feel a bit down about the scale. I bought a blingy western style belt. I visualized wearing it when I go to country bars with boot cut jeans but last night I wore with skinny jeans tucked into chunky heeled short boots. I got alot of compliments on the belt .. I think it worked because my whole outfit was fairly plain.

Florinda, I have more restriction and am less hungry the less I eat... exact same thing you are describing. This is what happened to me last spring - whatever it was that triggered it to start, i had a hell of a time breaking the under eating pattern. It sounds really great to lose 10# in 3 weeks without trying, but i felt like shit - physically and emotionally. The problem is that under eating definately creates mood issues for me. It is a real balancing act. Of course now, I feel like I am overeating - i am not binging or anything "bad" but I am eating more that I can if i want to weigh 140... Steven is a naturally skinny person and he has to force himself to eat. He gets really wound up sometimes (over real things, but reaction can be oversized) and i have noticed it is definately related to when he doesn't eat enough/well. He hired some pals to fix his truck and it is more messed up than ever and so he is having big conflict with them. Then, he broke a date with me because he was sick. well, he wasn't really sick with a bug, he just hadn't eaten in days and it caught up with him. He just doesn't experience hunger, he experiences not feeling good to remind himself to eat. Weird how we work.

I was well prepared - luckily my doctor let me know all that was coming. You are likely mildly dehydrated. If it gets worse, consider IV fluids even. You get to feeling better week by week, but I admit i did not feel fully human until about 12 weeks post op... Now, don't let it get you down. It is temporary. I lost 160# total and am healthy and happy - it was worth going through a few months of low energy and feeling like a wet noodle at times...

Well, I think there is a medical reason for some of this.. if you have been obese for decades, your bones, your blood vessels and internal organs have adapted for that. They don't necessarily shrink was you lose weight. There is a a couple of pounds of extra skin maybe (I had 5.5# of skin removed since i didn't have excess fat by the time I had plastics). So, maybe that accounts for 10-12# in total (that is a wild guess for purposes of discussion only). I think the more significant issue is the whole vanity sizing and resetting of what "normal" looks like. when I weighed say 150-155 my sister was convinced I was like 125-130#. I think it is because over the decades our whole population got bigger and we are just used to thinking that "a bit overweight" is a normal weight. I have slim friends, who have never been heavy and they tend to guess my weight pretty accurately in the upper 130s to 140s range. I am shocked that I wear such small size pants. Then, I went to the most crazy vanity sized store ever - White House Black Market and noticed all the 0 and 00 clothes. Oh, I get it, I wear a loose size 2 pants there and so they had to make up new negative sizing for slimmer ladies. In most stores, I wear size 4 (sometimes a 6 if a designer brand) pants which I still think is a crazy size for someone who weighs in the 140s. When I was in my 20s at this weight I wore 9/10. Anyway, we have just reset our ideas of what a "normal" weight looks like in my opinion. I don't really care until I start getting criticized for being too thin. Seriously? My BMI is 23ish... I look at my own pix, I am far from too thin.

I haven't weighed all week and I am up a few pounds...yuck. Both boys living at home... lots of carbs, eating out etc. Good news... no depression, anxiety or blues. I am 2 weeks off the anxiety meds and still feeling good. I sold my pony because I just didn't have time for him (I trained him to pull a cart but never had time to do it). Makes me sad to see him go. I still have my riding horses of course - and they have been crying for him since he left yesterday.

We've done two classes. The first was awkward but the instructor is great. Class #2 we all felt like we were actually dancing. I still get lost on the footwork when we do turns at any kind of speed but... if someone didn't know what it was supposed to look like they wouldn't think it was too bad! Really fun.

Dr ...do not think I am negative. At the time I was going thru recovery and adjustment I was very positive and motivated. In hindsight, it did suck though and it is a complete lie to characterize it any other way. I have been very driven and LOVE my post sleeve life. It isn't perfect but being free from an all consuming 24/7 hunger. ..priceless! I am a middle aged woman maintaining a 160# loss after a lifetime of obesity. .. so i guess I have been through as big of change as most.

Sounds like a great time to read the before and after picture threads! I guess you might be dehydrated...it causes exhaustion.

The early days and weeks post op suck, there is no two ways around it. I guess for me the key was staying focused on why I did the wls and my goals. I lost 160# plus and it was worth it!

Thanksgiving break sounds like a very short time off work to me. How about Christmas break? I gotta be honest, foodwise, Christmas isn't going to be great with either date.

I am a PSSC patient. Dr Billing saved my life by convincing me that I could be helped and was not a lost cause. He removed my band in Sept 2011 and was so tolerant of my off the hook emotions. Due to vacation schedules,, dr landerholm did my sleeve in Dec 2011 with amazing results. I had some issues about 6 months ago and saw Dr Harris who was spot on with the diagnosis. They are all compassionate and skilled... I haven't met the other surgeons but this is a quality place so I feel like you can't go wrong with any of them. I switched over to having colonoscopy done there, and if I ever need general surgery they would be on the top of my list.