CowgirlJane

What is the option to tag? The problem I have on mobile app is navigating to the specific forum. I will test it though.

so sorry this happened to you! I had my first kidney stone experience - it was 6mm but theoreticlly narrow enough to pass. It never did, and so after a pretty dang long time i had that day surgery "procedure" where they blast it and put a stent in. They threatened to admit me due to the out of control pain but I wanted to go home - it really is THAT bad though. It has been hellish and I am only now feeling like I am returning to normal (stent removed Monday!). I am so sorry you are going through this - it is way more painful and life disrupting than I ever fathomed it could be.... Hang in there!

I think I know your meaning, and it is tempting to be sorta black and white when looking at it - but in truth who is to judge what constitutes a character flaw versus a growth in an area of a persons life that had been hidden, or even stunted? I have worked for the same company for 25 years and I have many long term colleagues that have known me for years... they would say I am the same person. Many would say I am the same person but I KNOW that a part of me is quite a bit different. My grown kids have told me I have changed - for the better - because I am so much happier it influences my exterior personae as well. I don't think that was (or is) living a lie or somehow not an honest person - I think it was doing the best I could. A close aquaintance (from the barn where I used to keep horses) put it in words that rang true. She told me that I was always polite, pleasant to talk to, and a good reliable, well liked member of the barn community... but after losing weight I put out an energy that made people want be a part of it! It wasn't that I talked more, or did such different things or anything like that, but she experienced me quite differently in a somewhat intangible way - a certain wall had disappeared. i am not sure I can really even explain it either except my self defensiveness is just way lowered - the stronger I am in my own self confidence, the more that shines through. So I respectfully disagree that people who change alot are somehow living a lie.

I don't mean to be an alarmist, but I recall somebody who had a complication (might have been a leak) - her first symptom was shortness of breath. Don't mess with this - it is an item of urgent follow up.

After posting - I realized I left out something that has been pretty huge for me, and frankly probably the single biggest adjustment I have had to make.... I FEEL things so much more intensely. Obesity was like a damper on feelings, I just kind of muscled through alot of things in life, without regard to my heart and soul. I have always been a dutiful daughter & sister, a hard honest worker, a responsible (but not particularly joyful) mother and a faithful partner. I was all those things because they fit my core values, but also because I just did what I thought was the right way to live at times rather than what would please me, or would sustain my internal growth. Once that shield, buffer, whatever you wanna call it was gone - i went through a time of learning to experience so many things in technicolor again. Like, everything became so much more intense. I did find talk therapy to be useful at that time because I felt a bit overwhelmed by it at times. It at times felt out of control, not that I did things that were out of control, but more like I felt like I was having to figure out how to keep a lid on things as my mind was going every direction at once. I actually wasn't sure what to do with myself once the yoke was lifted. That is a very hard emotional state to describe. One of the things I learned is to just get used to feeling the ups and downs. Don't bury, don't hide from it, just let it happen. Over time, the intensity returned to some kind of normal. I think being a bit more intuitive (?) or aware of things is actually my "normal state" but had been hidden. In the last few years I have had a couple of friends tell me that I am somehow able to put words to, or describe themselves... like just by talking about things I helped them be more self aware. That has happened in recent years, I don't recall ever being called "insightful" prior to that. I think that the more sensitive side of me is now allowed to see the light of day.

It is my opinion, that if you don't change... at least some... you won't be successful maintaining the weight loss! I do agree that your core values, your basic personality etc. don't change but morbid obesity has a way of twisting how some of our social interactions are. Maybe a way to look at it is like this... did becoming a parent "change" me? yes. Did my career experiences over the past decades influence the person I am today? yes. Did feeling more physiclly confident, feeling less pain, feeling more attractive after losing weight change me? yes. I like to think that the real me has a better chance at shining through without the fatsuit! There are people who experience some temporary insanity ...ha.. that is a joke... during the transition. Anxiety, hyper mania type behaviors can surface. There is good old addiction transference too. I guess it is a question to the universe - if someone who abused food and used obesity to numb themselves from the world switches to alcohol, shopping, gambling or whatever - did they really change or is it that the underlying concerns are just more obvious? I don't know the answer to that. What I think is that I am alot more honest, about deep things than I ever felt entitled to be before That sounds strange but the happier I am with myself, the less I feel the need to please others? So, yes, i think losing massive weight does change us... at least some.

Is this targeted at UK residents only or ?

So sorry you are going through this! I am glad you shared, I had no idea nicotine caused ulcers. It is great when we can educate others because I would have not made the connection. Hope you heal up quickly and life stresses calm down. My boys are in their 20s, but I remember how stressful the teen and tween years could be at times! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I weigh 3-5 days a week. In maintenance, only record Monday as my official weight. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

sounds to me like you dodged some bullets with those losers. Did those relationships fail because of your looks, or because they were shallow asshats? Love is not something that disappears when you gain 10-20# All I am saying is that genuine people put "looks" in their appropriate importance... way down on the list. And personally, I find positive, upbeat, intelligent, conversant people much more attractive than a "perfect looking" but uninteresting person. What i think of their personality influences my attraction to them immensely and I suspect that is true of many many people.

oh, and I forgot to share the most important secret of them all... it actually does not matter that much. Seriously. So, movie stars leverage their looks into great careers, but for most of us "real people" - a smile, a lively personality, a generous heart, an ear that listens, a friend you can count on - these are the things that the universe values. i personally think that a reasonable level of fitness is also very attractive, but partly that is because it brings a certain positive energy to the table. I have never had a "failed" relationship due to looks. ever. I am into horses and dogs and what I notice is that we are initially drawn to "flashy" or colorful, but that becomes irrelevant if the critter is dud, or is difficult or not fun to be with. I think that pretty much applies to people too - looks are nice, but not really the stuff that makes you a valuable asset to friends, family, even a lover. I really enjoy dressing fashionably, wearing makeup etc but the day I realized that I only care what I think about it - was quite liberating. Most others don't even really seem to notice!

Stent is out - what a relief. I saw it - way longer than I thought it would be, no wonder I hurt! I sure hope this ordeal is finally OVER, Don't know yet the cause of my particular kidney stone, but the primary advice is to drink lemon Water (or lemonade, orange juice) to reduce risk of reoccurance of one particular type. He also said to be sure I have 2 liters of water a day - I am pretty sure I do, but I decided to fill a pitcher with sliced up lemons and 2 liters of water and do that for a few days to really check that I am getting enough water. I don't like the taste of water any more, so tend to drink various flavoried things, Vitamin waters etc. so this is going to be a change for me. I don't want to take up drinking lemonade or orange juice due to the sugars though.

I actually like cauliflower, but do not consider it a real crust. I made it once and decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Some people really love having substitutes for favorite foods but realize they are never the same as the original. If they were, theyd be selling cauliflower pizza slices from food trucks - and guess what, they dont!!!

I was last normal sized when I was in my early 20s. i never saw myself as beautiful then, partly because I was beaten down by insults, especially from my dad. Fast forward to my late 40s, I lose 150# and my facial features are really visible again. I never expected to be "pretty" but I was absolutely appalled at how I old I looked. I had a boyfriend who paid me lots of complliments and one time when we were talking about how much I had changed (he didn't know me pre weight loss) and he made the remark that I was so lucky on two counts given my former size - thin calves, so no cankles and such a pretty face. I have always had thin calves, but the face thing sounded like a baldface lie to me. I was gracious in accepting the compliment, but never believed a word of it. I didn't talk about it much because I felt so ungrateful... to be whining about having such an ancient looking face. It fit in with some of the grief I had over missing out on decades worth of a normal life due to the obestiy.... but over time several people mentioned that I am fairly youthful looking etc etc.. and I began to suspect face dismorphia. then it it hit me, the last time I saw my facial features like that I was in my early twenties. Of course I looked old compared to that! I really worked hard at accepting my face - the main thing I did was not allow myself to do the negative self talk. If I caught myself looking in the mirror saying horrible things about myself I would force myself to STOP. Over time, I think I have developed a more realistic view. I have some remnants of losing 150# - my neck is a little weird looking. I talked to the doctor about a face lift and he told me to wait 8-10 years, I don't have deep wrinkles and I clean up nice. I like wearing makeup, so I have some put a bit of effort into learning how to do it again (after decades of not really trying). So, hearing your story, seeing your picture - I think you too have dismorphia. You have picked something that you feel doesn't look good and have overly emphasized it. You are a very pretty young woman, you don't look like someone who has lost alot of weight (whatever THAT means) and I think you will find that if you keep a smile on your face, elimintate the hateful self talk ... over time you will start to see what the rest of us see. ... a woman who is beautiful inside and OUT. I was last normal sized when I was in my early 20s. i never saw myself as beautiful then, partly because I was beaten down by insults, especially from my dad. Fast forward to my late 40s, I lose 150# and my facial features are really visible again. I never expected to be "pretty" but I was absolutely appalled at how I old I looked. I had a boyfriend who paid me lots of complliments and one time when we were talking about how much I had changed (he didn't know me pre weight loss) and he made the remark that I was so lucky on two counts given my former size - thin calves, so no cankles and such a pretty face. I have always had thin calves, but the face thing sounded like a baldface lie to me. I was gracious in accepting the compliment, but never believed a word of it. I didn't talk about it much because I felt so ungrateful... to be whining about having such an ancient looking face. It fit in with some of the grief I had over missing out on decades worth of a normal life due to the obestiy.... but over time several people mentioned that I am fairly youthful looking etc etc.. and I began to suspect face dismorphia. then it it hit me, the last time I saw my facial features like that I was in my early twenties. Of course I looked old compared to that! I really worked hard at accepting my face - the main thing I did was not allow myself to do the negative self talk. If I caught myself looking in the mirror saying horrible things about myself I would force myself to STOP. Over time, I think I have developed a more realistic view. I have some remnants of losing 150# - my neck is a little weird looking. I talked to the doctor about a face lift and he told me to wait 8-10 years, I don't have deep wrinkles and I clean up nice. I like wearing makeup, so I have some put a bit of effort into learning how to do it again (after decades of not really trying). So, hearing your story, seeing your picture - I think you too have dismorphia. You have picked something that you feel doesn't look good and have overly emphasized it. You are a very pretty young woman, you don't look like someone who has lost alot of weight (whatever THAT means) and I think you will find that if you keep a smile on your face, elimintate the hateful self talk ... over time you will start to see what the rest of us see. ... a woman who is beautiful inside and OUT.

I was not successful with the band but have done well since revising to the sleeve in 2011. I do not agree with the implications that "you can't fail " with the sleeve. Yes you can, you can fail with any WLS. For many of us the sleeve is more effective and less "fussy" in terms of getting it just right. I was one of those banded people who still had hunger but experienced pain when eating dense Protein. Sleeve has felt alot more normal...just a smaller tummy. My feeling is that the sleeve and bypass are effective procedures, each with pros and cons. Education on what to expect with each, and your own situation is the way to make the decision! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Naturally thin people can be wonderful advocates and they can be the most clueless. My advice in this whole process is to not personalize it to the extent possible. Alot of dumb stuff will be said but among that is the good advice and support. Unfortunately, a high quality, perceptive, knowledgable nutritionalist/dietician that can articulate the knowledge well seems to be a rare commodity. I am at maintenance and I was super thrilled when I "lost" a 10# regain. However, there is no comparison between dropping 10# and losing 100-200# or whatever. People who lose 10# sometimes think - just do that 10X and you are golden! Well, it isn't quite so easy as all that - especially when you factor in long term maintenance. When a person is morbidly obese, their body is different. Good luck - going through the process isn't too much fun but you will get there!

I am not actually sure WHAT I believe, but I have been personally present at two deaths. I also helped prepare my sisters body (makeup, hair, nails) because we knew the pros would make her look like an old lady. Those experiences have taught me that death is something that happens to everyone who had the privelidge of living. It wouldn't bother me, but I think our own minds are very powerful and will determine how you experience this: a. non event b. benign but spirtual c. weird/creepy haunting

I don't ever recall that"moment". I knew I was fat from the inception. I was constantly reminded by my dad, older siblings, then later medical or school (PE for example) but I was always fat. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

New puppy...the wookie. ..along with my suzy baby. I love dogs and this really cheered me! Both of course rescues (although suzy had good care just no training or handling until I got her). Bella a true rescue...found on an Indian reservation and was scooped up by a rescue organization because they use little dolls like her as "bait" to train their fighting dogs. Horrible. ..so glad there are people who care so much! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

The white one is my papilion, the wookie is Bella. She is super friendly and cute! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I have always had Monday morning weigh in as my "official" weight which I record. I weigh a few more times a week too but don't track it. It doesn't s stress me, it is an accountability method. I get stressed when I detail track my intake. I am guessing that is due to being on diets since I was 8 years old, and mostly used a tracking approach.

Once my health is back, I will buckle down, back to basics...I lose any regain by being more mindful....and tolerating hunger more too. I had the treatments for the stone and I am pretty uncomfortable as I have a stent. This should be gone next week and I return to working out. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Drug is phenazopridine and I think it helps but man it's like a strange orangy/yellowish dye ..gross! I was very amused by the warnings - doc says no pretty lingerie, bottle says to watch out for stained contacts! Paperwork from hospital says no gym or heavy lifting for a few days...but sex "as normal" is fine. I think it is a mistake, but a funny one. He warned me there'd be a few days discomfort. The plan is to remove stent ASAP as that is irritating but I know some people need longer...so we shall see. The important thing is right now, no additional ones are forming, and this bad boy wasn't leaving on it's own, so doing this as a plannee thing was good. Doc said that it's rare, but sometimes the stone retreats back up to the kidney, really blocks things and the impacted kidney can essentially die in several weeks. They are keen to make sure the stones are"accounted" for. Now it's difficult to get anything to test though because it was pulverized. The actual surgical experience was top notch though - I plan to extend compliments because it makes such a difference in keeping my anxiety way down... another topic, but since my anxiety is reduced, I am better! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

1.5 months is nothing... people don't even start to reveal their whole nature until well after that. The kids aside, the anxiety attacks aside, I would consider the premature discussion of your future as a major red flag. It is less likely to be love, more likely to be neediness. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

This stuff isn't for sissies. Check out the warning on the pills taken to numb things. I currently feel like a cross between a) urinary tract infection - that painful urge to go but you can't always and b ) menstrual cramps, that achy feeling with occasional stabbing pain...bloating and feeling like gorging on junk food. And c) maybe some other condition I can't describe - but it's all bad. So the med stains everything. ..doc says "don't wear your Victoria secrets panties as it will never wash out" The exit paperwork gave me activity restrictions for the next few days....but you are going to love this: "patient may return to normal sexual activities". Now if by normal they mean ZERO, yeah, I can see that. If by normal they mean any part of anyone's body getting anywhere close to between the belly button and "fun zone" they are outta their minds. Ha...I Think that was an early April Fools Joke ... I hope this is better very soon. This is one reason I am so glad they said it was stuck and not leaving on its own - this treatment was necessary. If they'd gone in there and it was in the bladder ready to exit I'd probably be a little regretful not waiting more. I hope I make sense, also a little Percaset woozy. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App