Dooter

Hey Dooter – You totally rock! This is EXACTLY the reason I came to BaritricPal. Like so many others, since the day I decided to have surgery, I've been terrified of what would happen down the line when it gets hard. I'm only 3 months out and still basking in the glow of my honeymoon period, but I know that the wolf is lurking out there. So I'm working now to get my head right for when it knocks on my door. Now here's a delicate question... Can you advise us as to what are the behaviors that lead to "cheating" our sleeves? I know that ice cream and fruit juices are the quickest path to weight gain. But what are some of the other types of eating that we should watch out for? What sneaks in unnoticed over time until it becomes difficult to stop? Is is starches? pizza? Junk food? candy? Desserts? In other words, are there some foods that would be best left permanently in the past? I worry a lot about my slippery slope, so for now I make choices to avoid all of the "bad foods". But at some point, we're all going to have to increase our calories from 700 to 1200. What are the safe and unsafe ways to do that? Since planning for meals is a strategy for not making bad choices when eating out or at events, I figure that planning for "normal eating", whenever that comes, should also be a good strategy. Thanks to all who had the courage to share their struggles. I wish you nothing but success in regaining control of your journey!!!

Thanks! LOL

Yes, it IS a slippery slope. Here's my advice: If it tastes good, spit it out!! Ok, not quite that bad, but close. food is no longer a tool of soothing the psyche and de-stressing. It's fuel for the body. I have trouble looking at it that way. I get a craving for something with frosting and LOOK OUT. I'll mow ya down. That's my battle right now. The stinking cravings. If you increase your calories, do it with Proteins, veg, fruit and quality carbs. (brown rice, whole oats, quinoa, etc). Preaching to myself. God help me.

As far as foods being left permanently in the past? In theory, yes, all the "bad" food should be left behind, but I tell you, as soon as you tell me I can't have something- that's all I want. SO- I have to learn to have an altered relationship with these foods. Maybe...get to "x" weight and you can have such and such small treat. I don't know. I'm still learning dude. i'm 45 and still learning to live with food. It's not like crack or booze, you can't just walk away. We have to eat. It will be a life long battle and lesson. I pray you have great success.

Well said, thanks for the topic, Dooter.

It's my worst nightmare, indeed. I know 2 friends who had by passed a few years ago, both are big bone women and they lost 35 and 52 lbs and stopped losing a while ago. One gained back quite a lot, the other stay the same but both of them never reached their goal weight as they had the by pass, they told me they can eat "normally" just like pre-op. When I got nervous about the food choices, excercise or stalls, one of them would say, no worry it's not easily gainning back! Jeez, that stressed me even more.

I'm not even 3 months out and scared of the last day of the honeymoon period already.

That's the proper attitude. Never let your guard down.

I was happy to happen upon this thread. I am banded and having a revision to the sleeve. What you are speaking about is the same thing that happens with the band. I feel like a band failure although there are also mechanical issues that can happen. It makes me scared to move forward to the sleeve as I am well aware of head hunger etc and how it can take over. I am going to do all that I can during the honeymoon period to get myself ready for when it's over. I hope that by being aware will be part of the battle.

I am very happy that I got the sleeve done and would do it again in a heartbeat. It is a GREAT tool that I have at my disposal, but I have to use it. I will always have food issues, as will most of us on here, so we have to stay on top of it.

Wow I so needed this thread! Thanks so much for posting. This is exactly what is causing me fear and anxiety about the surgery. I'm not too worried about the actual surgery anymore, but I am getting more and more worried as my surgery date approaches in less than four weeks. I am prone to binging and am addicted to carbs. I'm starting to have serious doubts about my ability to keep weight off after the honeymoon period is over. I feel very confused right now. Should I work on controlling the binging and food addiction first before even getting the surgery? Or can I use the honeymoon period to get those issues under control. I only have one shot at surgery and I want it to be successful.

The issues come back. You must be prepared for that. Like I posted earlier, you WILL still have a smaller stomach, so that's a help, but empty carbs and sugar slide down with no problem and weight gain is EASY if you're eating the wrong foods.

There is an initial time period in which you lose the most weight. The sign that it is over is that you stop losing weight with the diet and exercise you've been doing. You start to feel like you're beating your head on the wall to no avail. That is where i became discouraged and turned to old comforts. I also had a very stressful time in my life right then, and I did not exercise the amount of self control i needed to. I continued to exercise, but the cravings were kicking in, and I was GIVing in. Then i started on the tasty alcoholic drinks. Don't drink your calories. The Grehlin figures out a way to start producing again, and the hunger pangs return. HOWEVER- you DO still have a smaller stomach, so like Diva said, you can still work your tool. Stay with Protein and veg first. I strayed from that rule. Still struggling.

When I get hungry, I get almost manic. I suddenly feel like I have no ability to make rational choices. So I was giving in to sugar cravings, and started that ugly cycle. Trying to break that yet again. I AM thankful to still have a small stomach, or i'd weigh 500 lbs by now. So... there's that...

What begins to happen as one moves out of the honeymoon phase? What are the signs that the honeymoon phase is ending?

I am wondering if it's an overwhelming urge to eat that comes one day and is really hard to stop or if it's a more subtle breakdown toward more and more bad habits from our past?

I'm wondering if it's a drive to eat stronger than anything we have ever had before the surgery?

What have people found helps the most to deal with it?

Thank you for any thoughts or insight.

Still struggling. Had to come back and read my own post for encouragement. LOLOL I'm on day two of a self-imposed liquid diet to shrink up my sleeve as much as possible. I have first-hand knowledge that this works. I'm about to start chewing on the kitchen chairs or something. Yikes. I WILL NOT REGAIN THIS WEIGHT!!!! I'll go down fighting.

Wow. I wrote this forever ago! 2 1/2 years out, and I can eat a lot more than i'm happy about. I can easily eat about 8 oz. of almost anything. Straight Protein gets uncomfortable after 6 oz, but anything else.... I can hold too much, so i can't get sloppy.

thank youu!!! there is agroup but not many posters on it. i remember visiting it often praying i could be on it one day lol

Good to see ya Ja!!!! Congrats!!

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I'm scared, I haven't been able to do the diet very well I'm almost one well before surgery, I can't quit smoking either.

Be honest with your doc about this. You may need to decide if this is the right time in your life to do this. If you don't stick to the POST op diet it could kill you. This is very serious. Not sticking to the pre op diet and still smoking may disqualify you from surgery anyway. This is serious stuff. You MUST be willing to comply. It's time to change. Please speak to your doc or staff. I say this out of great concern.

That is super exciting. We are going to Disney in July and not fitting into the rides is one of my biggest fears...... I can't decide if I will try or just forgo because I don't want to be the fat chick who gets kicked out of the ride because the bar wont close. That would be so embarrassing to me.

OK, Well here's a guideline for you... right now my waist is 42 and my hips measurement right across the hip bones is at 45 and the very widest part of my butt about 6 inches below the hip line is at 52. With those measurements I fit in everything and only on one ride, two of them had to press on the bar to get it to smash down and lock. That was getting a little close for comfort, but it was a way smaller car than all the other. So, if that helps allay your fears any...

Ok, so BIG NSV yesterday. Since before I had surgery 2 years ago, I dreamed of riding rides with my boys and knew it may never happen. We moved to Florida last year, and finally had a chance to visit Legoland yesterday. Not only was I able to keep up with them and their friends, I was leading the pack! AAAND riding roller coasters and other rides with them, and I didn't have to worry about fitting. There was ONE ride with a teeny car and the girl had to really push down on the bar to lock it, but that's ok! I've got a ways to go, but I've come SO far! I'm back on track with a trainer and we're going to get this job D O N E!!! KEEP WORKIN' IT PEOPLE!!!

My only advice is do not get fixated on ultra strict dieting and losing all your weight in 6 months. IMO, that is just as bad as the opposite and that is how most of us ended up fat in the first place.

Follow your rules and get your Protein in first, then veggies, then fruit, and last any starches. If you're eating a snack of fruit, eat a mini babybel with it for Protein. Don't feel you can't eat a cookie or popcorn. You can, but you have to give yourself a portion and stick to it. It's about balance. I think so many of us follow these ultra strict diets and then when the weight is off we feel like "yay! I can eat again!" But that is the thinking that got us fat in the first place.

If you relearn to eat right, eat to satiety, and balance your diet, you may lose slower than some of the other people but I believe your chances of regain will be a lot less because you won't be tempted to stuff yourself and hide food because there is no longer "forbidden fruit' in your diet.

Also, exercise that builds muscle is key.

I am speaking in general here and am not commenting on any specific post. I read about food hiding but I think is something many of us have done so it's not directed to you Dooter

Oh, I was a big time hider. These are the things I have to start being honest about. We all do. Change is painful.

It's really strange that I am reading this post. I haven't been on here for 3 months, mainly because I was struggling with my head and I haven't been the model of good sleeve behavior that I was for the first few months after surgery. This is the first thing I have read since logging back on. I am almost nine months out and I have come to the hard cold realization that my body may have changed but my relationship with food is still the same. When I'm stressed it is still what soothes me and when I'm lonely it is still my friend. I wish that having the surgery was the end of this toxic relationship, however it was not a divorce, just a little bit of a cooling off period. After nine months (with my weight the same for the last two months) I have realized that this is as far as the surgery can take me. The rest is up to me and if I don't change my relationship with food, I am not going to get to my goal. I'm thrilled that I had the surgery and I'm thrilled that I have lost the weight, but sometimes I feel like I am living a lie, I look slim on the outside, but my head is in exactly the same place it was when I was 225 pounds. Thank you so much for sharing this post. I was scared to come back on here because it was always such a source of inspiration for me and I did not want to discourage others and I assumed that others would not want me to discourage them. BUT.....being honest with others and being honest with yourself is a huge step forward. Thanks Dooter!

EXACTLY. Hey we're all in it together and this place is about truth, support and encouragement. I haven't lost anything in a year and a half and I didn't want to come back on here either, but I had a burden for this truth that I was realizing, so by Providence you have come upon it and I'm glad it is helpful. The rest of our lives are going to be a lot of work in regards to food and exercise. We can do it though never give up!

Good job.. You'll do GREAT!! You got this!! Patience.....

You're not losing too fast at all by standards of wls. Take FULL advantage of the next 4 to 6 months, because the loss will stop like hitting a brick wall. Make hay while the sun is shining.

Yup. It comes back. Full force. I was hoping not, but it did.

I was told by my doctor to eat something denser like chicken or fish in hopes that I get full and have restriction... Im confused now, shouldn't I have eaten the chicken?

Every doc has a different idea of what is ok. My doc was ultra safe and had a VERY slow progression up to solids. Like... 5 weeks of gradual food thickening and texturing.

Breathe, woman breathe!!! Everything is going to be ok. (It is too early to be eating chicken! You can hurt yourself badly!) The grehlin is still working its way out of your system, and you're having thin foods (or should be), so hunger is inevitable. I felt ravenous for weeks. Be sure you are taking acid reducers and staying well hydrated. You WILL lose weight. Your body is trying to figure out what the heck you did to it and is rebelling by trying to hold on to what you're putting in. It WILL happen. Just relax, follow the plan and exercise. Not vigorously yet. SLOW, careful walks, but KEEP MOVING. Your exercise plan starts NOW. It's very vital to the loss. Most of all- be calm. Stress hormones will fight your weight loss as well. Just keep swimming. K?

Great post. I am scheduled to have my surgery In 4 weeks and like a expectant mother, I am reading these boards with eager curiosity everyday. What scares me, is reading about the emotional struggles people continue to have with food and the twisted things they do to "cheat" the sleeve. I know people poo poo the idea of the psychological evaluation on this board, but there is a legit reason for it! Frankly, it seems a lot of people have been allowed to have the surgery who were not emotionally or mentally prepared to make the lifestyle changes. I think we are all going to struggle at times (and its great to have a forum like this for support) but every single person in my bariatric program has made it clear - this surgery is a tool that will make it easier for you to loose weight. Over time, it will become more challenging and you must develop new lifestyle changes during that time or you will gain the weight back. I'm sure Its hard to grasp this idea in the beginning when the weight is falling off. People just assume they will continue to loose weight at the same rate. My bariatric team told me that the biggest mistake people make is not take advantage of that 6 month window after surgery. Start exercising right away! Statistics show that people who continue to work with a dietitian and attend support groups have better success rates long term. Someone on bariatricpal pointed out yesterday that these forums are mostly filled with newbies or pre-op patients like me. Why is that? Is there really a way to know how many people succeed and fail with the sleeve long term? I wouldn't think those who are gaining weight back are eager to share their story on these forums. So Thank you for your honest post. While its great to hear how successful people have been, we need a reality check once in awhile. I want to be one of the successful long-term statistics. What can I do today to prepare me to beat the odds? Ready, set, go......

Wow. What can you do today to prepare you to beat the odds.... well... I'm still trying to do just that, so I had a bit of a pie in the sky attitude, refusing to entertain the notion of old ways returning. I "felt" too different. I just KNEW it couldn't happen. Truth is...I feel the same as I did before but with a smaller stomach. (not discounting the weight lost, of course..) Same cravings, same stress eating... everything.

What you can do is EXPECT your feelings and attitudes to return to how they were and have a good support system around you. People that will not let you slack off on exercise, and that you can count on to say "uuhhh.. have you put on a few pounds?" and you promise not to get mad at them. Also- if it's not in your house, you can't eat it! Don't drink your calories.

Your diet may have to change when your weight loss is done. consult an expert. Your body is different than anyone else's. Don't take blanket advice for eating at face value. These are just a few tools I'm learning. I've got a ways to go...

Heck ya, I'm two years out and I get ravenously hungry. Have for quite some time. The good thing is I get full so much faster. I can still do a LOT of damage in a small amount of space though. The Grehlin is flowing again!

I'm by 580/590

No way. What is the name of your street?

I'm a mile from Phillipe too' date=' lol.

Yes, when school is out, we leave for an extended vacation.

We should meet up one morning.

Monica[/quote']

Cool! I'm north of it near 580 and Phillipe intersection. Which direction are you?

Glad to hear that you are doing well' date=' the first week is the roughest, it gets better and better everyday.

Phillipe park is in Safety Harbor, Phillipe Park way and Enterprise.

I'll inbox you my phone number.

Monica[/quote']

I finally moved here! I'm just a mile from Phillipe. i remember you were on a long vacation...