Chimera

I had an amazing day on Sunday. I was supposed to go to a music festival at Snoqualmie Pass and watch Dan play - about a 60-70 minute drive from my house. He wound up booking 2 more gigs that same day, all in different towns and it was a logistical nightmare. He really wanted me to keep our plans, just modify them, but I was feeling disappointed as we had originally planned on spending the whole day at the music festival together (except for the one band he was playing in). So, I declined to go given the change in plans.
I was feeling a little wound up/anxious on Sunday morning. Not over the change of plans but over my health stuff, life stuff. I wanted to get things done around my place but felt like a change in scenery would be good. So, first I went to Target and took care of some misc shopping i needed to do. Then, I decided to drop into a nearby towns little music festival that i had seen posted on one of my meetup groups. I didn't find the meetup people, but had a hoot of a time by myself. The seating was communal so i wound up sitting front row with some complete strangers and listened to some great music.
That morning I had seen another meetup put on by some salsa dancers (NOT instructors) to sort of show newbies salsa basics. It was full and had a waitlist but I decided to sign up anyway. Sure enough, but that evening enough people had cancelled I was able to go! It was really fun. In some ways, they were better teachers than instructors because they took it really slow and clear and they kept it fun.
I had a backup plan to go to a place that does free country dance lessons on Sunday night but I was too tired by then and went home!
I do lots of stuff by myself, and I admit I sometimes feel like it is pathetic... and i see other single women doing the same thing I can't help but feel that sense of "why are we alone" kind of thing. But, you know, the truth of the matter is that I don't have THAT MANY friends that want to go do stuff. Alot of the people I know want to ride horses, but not much else. And besides that, i don't want my social life to have to be planned out - and so many people plan their calendars to the last minute so they are NOT spontaneous like I am. I wish I were a better planner, but even without the last minute plans changed with Dan, i still would not have had this sketched out in detail... I am just a bit more of a free spirit about just up and doing things (this by the way, drove my EX crazy!)
Anyway, it was good!

My kindle doesn't play well with bariatric pal...sorry.
Anyway, Doug asked me whats the highest drama, biggest problem in my life right now. I told him about some of my current health issues and he was really positive and encouraging. It reminded me of why I tend to bond closely with one person, I LIKE feeling cared for even if it isn't lifetime love. One of many things that is cool about Doug is that like me, he hasn't found true love while dating, but he's made friends. I have too and "get" that mature and realistic view of this madness.
I am going to think about it, but heck, what's a few weeks to see if we grow something, even just a friendship?

Indeed you look fabulous! I love your hair - you look stunning
I created a new little document to track my measurements over time - I had been entering it in a small paper journal, but have run out of room. I added a column for notes/behaviors/activity - of course the topics I usually avoid when I have fallen way to the wayside of the healthy track.
Thanks for that link Kim - I am going to try the Keto thing - (this honestly sounds way more fun than Whole 30 lol - my family would NOT be on board with something that austere) but meat, eggs, cheese - those are things we will all eat. I am about 197 (cringe) right now and here is what that calculator gave me for macros at a 30% deficit - which they say can be hard, but I can always adjust it down. Also set it to sedentary - I know myself and I slack on the exercise as much as I do Water - so anything over sedentary is a bonus.
Daily Calories
1256
20 g. carbs
90 g. Protein
91 g. fat
It says to maintain - my cals would be 1794 - which is right in there with what the machine at my surgeons office says, which had me at 1800 something - though I think my lean body mass was higher - this regain is astonishing in how "flabbaliscious" all the extra fat is - its like I have a new outfit filled with Jello or something
Hope you guys are doing well and hanging in there - love ya!

Kim, love the 19th century tart stockings!!!!
Weighed this morning - 214.6 so, perhaps this higher fat thing is good? You know how malicious my body is so I won't believe this is legit until I've either maintained it or slid down at least 5 lbs, then I'll believe.

Indeed you look fabulous! I love your hair - you look stunning
I created a new little document to track my measurements over time - I had been entering it in a small paper journal, but have run out of room. I added a column for notes/behaviors/activity - of course the topics I usually avoid when I have fallen way to the wayside of the healthy track.
Thanks for that link Kim - I am going to try the Keto thing - (this honestly sounds way more fun than Whole 30 lol - my family would NOT be on board with something that austere) but meat, eggs, cheese - those are things we will all eat. I am about 197 (cringe) right now and here is what that calculator gave me for macros at a 30% deficit - which they say can be hard, but I can always adjust it down. Also set it to sedentary - I know myself and I slack on the exercise as much as I do Water - so anything over sedentary is a bonus.
Daily Calories
1256
20 g. carbs
90 g. Protein
91 g. fat
It says to maintain - my cals would be 1794 - which is right in there with what the machine at my surgeons office says, which had me at 1800 something - though I think my lean body mass was higher - this regain is astonishing in how "flabbaliscious" all the extra fat is - its like I have a new outfit filled with Jello or something
Hope you guys are doing well and hanging in there - love ya!

Thought I would branch out and go read some other posts on the board for once in my life - just want to say that I think it is probably a good idea that Lipsticklady isn't in the group- she seems to take things really personally, and seems that she could be a 'pot-stirrer' - not that I know her at all.
I dunno - I tend to stay pretty far away from folks who don't seem to recognize that text carries no inflection - that if you are getting hurt and upset by posts that are not blatant attacks or harassment - that it is you who is bringing the negative vortex into play. Reminds me of having to go over this constantly with our girls and other folks on the web - pre-teen stuff.

Thought I would branch out and go read some other posts on the board for once in my life - just want to say that I think it is probably a good idea that Lipsticklady isn't in the group- she seems to take things really personally, and seems that she could be a 'pot-stirrer' - not that I know her at all.
I dunno - I tend to stay pretty far away from folks who don't seem to recognize that text carries no inflection - that if you are getting hurt and upset by posts that are not blatant attacks or harassment - that it is you who is bringing the negative vortex into play. Reminds me of having to go over this constantly with our girls and other folks on the web - pre-teen stuff.

Globe, I know you asked for a PM but there seems to be general interest so I will put it out there. GERD can cause cancer. If you are not controlling it with a PPI you need to be proactive. The sleeve increases the pressure inside your stomach causing stress on the valves at the top and bottom. Some of us seem to be able to handle it and others not. I was not only having GERD but bile reflux from my intestine back into my stomach. Bile is caustic like lye and reacts to stomach acid sort of like vinegar and baking soda. I had ulcers in my stomach and intestines. In addition if bile and stomach acid reflux into your esophagus you can get Barret's Esophagus which is a precursor to esophageal cancer. Not trying to scare you but just to be real.
The RNY splits your stomach or sleeve into two parts. An upper part which connects to your esophagus and your small intestine about 100 cm down from the normal place, and a small part that connects to the common bile duct and then connects to your intestine. So the food and digestive juices don't mix until they get together in your small intestine (which is where digestion happens anyway) and reflux is basically impossible.
My surgeon said that the part of my sleeve that he used for the bile part is only about 10 ml (2 tsp) and I am already close to my pre-revision capacity a month out. I've had no issues. Even my poop is kind of normal for the first time since my sleeve surgery.
I know most of us chose the sleeve because we were dead set against the bypass but I am sure seeing a lot of sleeve to bypass revisions now because of GERD, both here and on Thinner Times. I hope the word gets out to pre-op folks so they can make more informed decisions.

Rogofulm, thank you for your encouragement and support, it is meaningful. My success at getting myself "back under control" isn't quite the point I was trying to make, however. I was trying to be very clear and frank with all the sleevers out there who have less time on the sleeve than me about what life and weight management and even what "working your sleeve" actually look like when surgery date is a distant memory.

Denise I only wanted comments deleted if we add them. Since we are just holding steady, doesn't matter to me. As far as I am concerned you have my blessing to reply to requests that we aren't accepting new members, not about 5:2, and will likely shut down vs expanding. I don't want you to feel bad for having to be the messenger!
Florinda, I ask myself if weighing 165 is better than 200, 300 and universally the answer is YES. I get frustrated too and wish I was trimmer/thin as I used to be. 145 seems impossible to me right now...and yet I keep coming back to avoiding the all or nothing thinking. For me, maintaining right here, even though I wish for skinniness, is a good place to be. Perhaps losing 5# a month is realistic and it is still a good place to be?
I took my first salsa and bachata lesson. Salsa was hard for me....
I missed out doing the swing thing this week because I was on a"first date" that went way long and I lost track of time!

5 pounds a month would only be 60 pounds, which would have me at 155 - still overweight and still over goal.
So, today's calories are 882, carbs 20, Protein 98 (!!) and fat 42. we'll see tomorrow...

You have tried everything else... why not! fat=calories.... no getting around that.
 
here is the link to the ketogenic diet calculator....  http://www.flexibleketogenic.com/

As far as I know FAT=Calories.  However, i don't worry about limiting fat or calories (of course I am currently over goal so perhaps you shouldn't ask me!)
 
I do think there is some "power" to mixing things up a bit. 
 
It is so frustrating, but imagine you could lose 5# a month until you get to goal... and then hold steady.  Visualize where you would be in a year ....
 
I get frustrated too, but I am even thinking if I can lose 1 or 2 #  a month that is a victory!

Florinda, I went 'high fat' a few years ago - when I was looking into the Paleo (sp?) diet... I read on the board that if you take an oil shot, it can help break a set point. What I did was use a shot glass, add a tablespoon of pure virgin olive oil with Water and downed it in one (with my nose pegged...lol). The one rule is that you can't have anything that 'tastes' an hour before and an hour after.
I did it for several weeks and it broke my set point... I lost a few pounds, where I was stuck for ages.
Infact, you've reminded me of that time, so I might start it again - thank you x

I only read this thread and rarely check the rest of the board - other than you guys most of the folks I knew from our RL support group meetings have not posted in a long time (fiddleman and his wife, Steph, etc.) I have no idea how folks know about this little group or why they want to be in it so much especially if we are not really about 5:2 exclusively.
 
I am totally fine with keeping it our same small group - with that said I am making an effort to post more and mot be such a lurker - which must come off as very rude, which is/was never my intention. 

I'll say the same vote for me as well.

I think it is good for people to see what success looks like 5 years out...it ain't perfect but it's awesome!
 
I have been thinking about the issue of food (and other things) as a comfort/fall back. I wonder if my next step is to try to get specific help on that topic. Even though I feel pretty good with it now...it sometimes feels tenuous.
 
I am not sure how to tackle this. For people who don't talk about their feelings counseling helps alot. My stuff is out there on the table but I still feel the sirens call.
 
Example, last night I was going to go to a dance lesson. The heat had got me down from working outside so instead of doing the active things I wanted to do I nursed my "feeling bad" with a late snack....

Good to see you Chimera... and yes, as Kim said... fab holiday pics!
 
Thanks for all the positive comments - so, should I post summat in the main sleeve area?  xx

Such a big congrats to you Coops! You are such a trooper, so inspirational girl.
You guys look great! Love your gray hair and cut... very cute! I have been growing out my gray, and using a blue tint at this point. Little old lady with a blue rinse! Thats me!

Hi ladies! Once again apologies for posting so rarely, I think I too have little to say on a daily basis but I am much better at reading
 
My weight is up a bit as well - enough that I have been scared to step on the scale - so I haven't, which is usually a huge red flag - meaning everything just goes out the window and eating becomes a free for all once again. The last year was very, very stressful  and I got in a lot of healthy exercise all through last summer - then started a job from hell in the fall which lasted until spring - when I decided to start a new business venture of my own. Then, we decided to move in May - which all came about suddenly (mainly to be closer to our youngest starting college in the fall) - for those of you who are in the greater Seattle area, we have moved from living on the beach in West Seattle, to the foothills of Mt. Rainier in Puyallup, much more of a commute for hubby (who is at the main Boeing plant downtown) - but a house that is much more spacious, that is less money, and my mom is only 5 minutes away. I am an only child, she is not in the best of health so it feels good to be closer - we have gotten to see her more in the last month than we have in the last decade I think. At the start of June my oldest step daughter came for a 3 week visit and she wanted to learn to paint in oil so I created a little curriculum for her and we had great fun making all sorts of little paintings.
 
We also just returned from Cancun - we met up with my husbands sister and her husband - so we were 6 and had a fine time - none of us got burned (and that sun down there is no joke!) There was mostly swimming and lounging at the pool with cocktails everyday - which was a silly treat as none of us really are drinkers. There were more carbs than I should have had but it could have been much worse. My sister-in-law was actually the inspiration for my hubby and I to get our WL surgeries - so there were 3 of us who had bariatric surgery on the trip - two sleeves and a RNY - she is a few years ahead of us and has gained a bit back but is hanging in there.
 
We had a little BBQ for the 4th, and there is still some pie hanging around but we are committed to a dietary reset after the food is gone. Mom will eat some again today - she is coming over to watch the US world cup match finals.
 
I have been reading up on a program you guys may have heard about - you guys always seem to be in the know with great resources online. Not sure if you guys are familiar with Whole 30 but I am going to give it a go in an effort to break my sugar addiction - the more I feed it the bigger it seems to get (like some giant, scary dust bunny haha!) - a lot of the foods are similar to other anti-inflammatory diet protocols such as Abascal - which is something a girlfriend did and she lost a significant amount of weight and seemed to feel much better. I can make some truly crappy choices with food and hubby and I will end up right back where we started if we don't get serious and regulate.
 
http://whole30.com/
 
I like the idea of committing to a summer of healthy choices that will last all year round - September is when things usually start falling apart - all of our birthdays, holidays, etc.

Here are a couple of snaps from the trip  I never have found an easy way to add pics to a post.

 

Haha Florinda sounds like some of the folks I used to work with
 
And Kim is right about copyright - in fact, original works are protected under copyright the moment they are completed - technically you don't even need the symbol on the work. You can file your work officially with the US Copyright office - I know one used to be able to lump up to 30 works under a single filing (great for big series lol) for around $30. Again this is not necessary - the greatest protection it can afford is giving you more leverage if you want to sue someone for using your work without permission. This used to happen to me fairly regularly - a cease and desist letter is usually plenty
 
What gallery are you walking by on your way to work? You work right across the street from my former employer (Cornish College of the Arts).

I just hate that we dont get update messages for our group anymore! Said it before and saying it again.

I just hate that we dont get update messages for our group anymore! Said it before and saying it again.

Yep! Missus, I think you're probably right! I have to be super vigilant not to gain cos I can graze all day - Christmas taught me that. I have become a food snob though... delish food yes! Junk processed food NO!
To be honest, this time last year I really was at peace with myself... I like the way I looked and felt. However, more recently I have become hard on myself again - finding lots of faults (don't we all?) and just not as contended... the only difference is that now I am feeling lazy about it all. When I look in the mirror now, I don't see a woman who has lost a lot of weight... I see a woman who needs to lose more. I feel I look 'boxy' not curvy.
Probably all in my head.
I too get a lot of compliments, especially from my hubby who every day calls me 'beautiful'. I also get male attention when I go out - although I mainly ignore it. But to be brutally honest, I am not doing this for anyone else. I am doing this for me - for good health, longevity of life at a good quality and frankly looking good is a pure bonus and one I never considered at the start of all this.
This analogy is how I look at my situation now:
5 years ago weighing 17 stone I had a huge mountain to climb to get to 10 stone... I started the walk up that mountain when I had my sleeve... nearly five years later I still haven't reached the summit but for 2-3 of those years (yes it is that long) I have been sat near the top of the mountain looking at the view. I quite like the view from here... it is refreshing. I can see lots of things. But, there is this wall that stops me reaching the top and although to many it isn't such a big wall, to me it is massive! The wall seems impossible to climb over, despite many different attempts. So, I started to think: will the view on the top of the mountain be better than the one I have now? Will the blood, sweat and toil be worth getting to the summit? Or do I stay here admiring the view and comes to terms with the fact that I will never climb the wall?
Is that elusive goal weight worth it - in my head it is, which is why I still try to lose weight; which is why I still yearn to get into a size UK 10 (remember I am only 5 2); which is why I still want a 'normal' bmi!
Does that make any sense?