amberose

I want to thank all of you for your positive support. Your words of wisdom have encouraged me and comforted me more than you will ever know And Donali, your positive thinking exercises are a very good idea, and actually I've been meaning to practive positive self talk, but I just never get around to it! And being an addiction counseling major (ironic huh!?!) and a psychology minor, you'd think that I would have tried to use my knowledge to cognitively reconstruct my thought process by now, but obviously I haven't! I know this sounds strange, but sometimes I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because I feel like there is nothing anybody can tell me that I haven't already used on someone else, and I guess I think that if I've already said it to someone else, it doesn't apply to me. Ya know what I mean? Well thanks again, I appreciate you all so much, and my thoughts and prayers are with you. ~Amber~

I'm feeling very disgusted with myself right now! I was banded about three months ago, and had my first fill on Oct. 1st - and had lost 22 pounds, but have now gained about six back (so now I'm at only 16 pounds lost in 3 months). It's obviously time for another fill, but I can't make it to get one until December 19th (that't in forever!) because the closest fill doctor to North Dakota is in is Nebraska, and that's still about eleven hours away! So anyways, I totally binged today and- and I mean a BIG FAT BINGE. I obviously don't have much restriction at all because I can probably eat about as much now as I could before the surgery. I know that I should be able to exercise a little self control, but obviously I can't! I'm so angry at myself right now, I feel like I don't deserve to eat at all for like the next whole week - not even joking! And I almost feel even more pressure to lose weight than I did before getting the band, because here I went and flew to Mexico and spent my life's savings on this thing that I thought would change my eating habits forever, and all I have to show for it is a lousy 16 pound loss in three months! Oh, and not to mention that I put on about fifteen pounds within the three weeks before my surgery, just becasue I knew that I was going to have it done, so really it's like all the actual weight I've lost is 1 freakin pound - in three months! AAAAHHHH, I'm so mad! I just want to crawl up in a ball (a fat ball) and cry myself skinney - if that were possible, I'd do it! I just needed to vent :cry Thanks for listening (or should I say reading). I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you guys! ~Amber~

Welcome to our lapband community Beth :cool: I totally know what you mean about being a little put out by the thought of getting a fill and feeling a little scared about risking going back to the starvation mode you were in the first two weeks after surgery. And that's not dumb at all to feel that way. Donali is right, this is a huge emotional adjustment, and it takes time for our emotions to adjust to our actions - it's completely human. I had the band put in about three months ago, and I also had a bit of a traumatizing experience with the whole starvation thing. I got banded in Mexico (and I currently live in North Dakota, not at all close to Mexico!), and the day I was supposed to fly back home, I got this undescribably horrific pain in my stomach, so my doctor checked it out by giving me a barium swallow. He said that he saw the barrium go down, and he didn't know what the problem was...he thought I was just drinking liquids too fast or somthing. So I flew back home and continued to have the probelm. Every time I drank even a swallow of Water, I was in intense pain. I didn't know what was going on, and it's not like there was a doctor within even a 500 mile radius that was familiar with this band procedure. So I continued to drink just a sip of water or juice once every hour or so, and I would eventaully throw that back up anyways (I couldn't even swallow my own saliva at this point. And I actually thought that this was normal, I didn't know what else to think, becasue after all, my doctor had checked me out before I left Mexico, and he thought that the pain I was experiencing was normal. So anyways, this went on for about five days, and I ended up in the hospital for three nights, hooked up to IV fluids becasue I had become dehydrated. I ended up having to fly all the way back to Mexico and have the band removed and a new one put in, because it turned out that the band had slipped, and when I had taken the barrium swallow from the previos time I was there, the barrium couldn't get washed through, so it turned into cement in my stomach and obstructed everything. So after my second surgery. it took a lot longer for my body to bounce back, and I was on Clear Liquids for another two weeks (that makes three whole weeks of nothing but clear liquids! yuk!) But after I got to feeling better, oh boy did my stomach swelling go down and my appetite returned to it's full force! Now I'm like...."give me a fill, a really really big one, I want it to be really tight!" I did get my first fill here about four weeks ago, and I am more restricted than I was, but NOTHING like it was right after surgery. This is a comfortable fill, maybe even too comfortable...I'm ready for another one already! I can pretty much guarantee you that the extreme tightness you felt after surgery will probably never be repeated again, unless you get a really big fill, but most doctors like to take it slow with the fills, and that's really the best way to go, so we can accomodate our emotional adjusting into it too! Well, I wish you luck and hope to here from you again soon ~Amber~

Welcome to the boards Julia :cool: You'll find a lot of great losers here! This is a great place to get support and answers to your questions. I'm also glad that I found this forum, I don't know what I'd do without it! ~Amber~

Whoa, that is really ironic that she posted that the same day we were discussing it! Crazy! That poor girl, that sounded like it majorly sucked! Well, I hope that I never get a kink in my tube like that...no, my tube is just wrapped around my bladder! Thanks for sharing that post, it was interesting - unfortunate for the poor girl it happened to - but interesting to know. ~Amber~

Donali, I'm from Montana too! And let me tell ya...all of those North Dakota jokes...believe every one ya ever heard, it's bound to be true! Do you know what North Dakotans make fun of Montanans for?!.... They have fun with their stupid sheep jokes. I had never even heard sheep jokes before I moved here for college. I bet you didn't know that either, but let me tell ya, the second they hear you're from Montana, they ask if you have any sheep. After college, I'm outa here! I'd go back to Montana and hang out with the sheep any day! :cool: But anyways, back to kinky tubes.....I wish that my doctor did fills the way yours did. He's an awesome doctor, but he doesn't do fills under fluoro, he just finds the port with his hand, shoots ya up, and gives ya some Water to make sure it's not too tight, then you're on your way. That makes the visit a lot less expensive though, it's dirt cheap! ~Amber~

CONGRATULATIONS :cool: That was fifty pounds in about five months right, since you got the band in May? You are making incredible progress! Reading your post actually re-enforced my confidence in having chosen the band. Sometimes I get down about how slowly I'm losing weight, and I think to myself..."I should have done something more drastic, I'm not losing fast enough!" But you're right, the band is well worth it, because it promotes slow but steady weight loss. We truly are the lucky ones - us bandsters - that we just happened to stumble upon something that offers us a second chance (or sixty seventh chance!) at weight loss, and to know that we WILL succeed this time! Keep us up-dated on your progress Quakergirl. YOu're doing awesome ~Amber~

Donali, as I was reading your post I got to thinking about long tubing, and a new question popped up in my head...ok, ya know when we get a fill...well, how do we know that the small amount of liquid enjected into our port will move all the way through the long tube all the way to the band? Isn't it possible that it could get stuck in our tube somewhere? I know that's totally off the subject we were discussing before, but when I just had to ask. But back to my pressing bladder issue, I hope it goes away just like the pain you experienced in the left side of your lower abdomen. I'm tellin ya, this eat and pee thing is very odd and extremely annoying :cool: And if you do happen to run into a bandster in the future who has the same problem...send em to me , not that I'll even know what to tell them, but I guess I we can express our PEElings to each other (oh, aren't I funny!?) Thank you for your responses, I enjoy talking to other bandsters. I live in North Dakota, and I bet I'm the only person within at least a 300 mile radius that has had this procedure done. I have to drive all the way to Scottsbluff Nebraska (which is a ten hour drive) just to get fills because that's the closest Doctor to where I live! So, as you can see, this is the only place where I can really talk to other bandsters. So I've enjoyed your words of wisdom! Thanks again OH....I almost forgot to tell ya........negative on the pregnancy test! ~Amber~

So you're telling me that I'm the only one who's experienced this strange bladder pushing phenomenon after I eat!?! I guess I always knew that I was one of a kind . That's actually a pretty good theory that you came up with there donali! If it is my tubing pushing up against my badder, I must have some long tubing in there. Well, what can ya do, I guess :cool: But maybe this will stop me from eating so much just out of annoyance from having to pee constantly! ~Amber~

I've had the band for about three months now, and I've had one fill. Immediatley after my fill I had pretty good restriction, but it only took about one week before the restriction wore off. I've been on a plateau forever, I can eat a lot, I don't get full very fast like I did right after surgery or right after my fill, and I'm usually hungry within three hours after eating...so I'm thinking it's time for another fill. BUT, I've noticed something weird since I got my fill (which was about 3 and 1/2 weeks ago), and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this........ immediately after I eat, I feel something way down in my lower stomach, almost like the feeling of being full, except it's more like something is pushing on my bladder, and I always have to pee. After I pee, it's gone, and I usually feel hungry again. What is that?!? Has anyone else ever experienced that?

WOW Your weight loss is amazing! I remember how it felt to lose that much weight (but that was before my band, back when I was taking those over the counter diet pills, and of course when I stopped taking them...I pretty much gained it all back!). It must feel good to lose that much weight the right way...with propper diet and excercise, knowing that you've made a positive life change. I can't wait to lose my weight again, but doing it right this time :cool: Congratulations! You really have inspired me. ~Amber~

Carmen, I know how you feel! I have slept on my stomach since I was a baby, and it's sssssooooooo hard for me to get to sleep when I try to lay on my back. After my surgery, It took about 5 weeks before I could even move to sleeping on my right side, and now that I'm abgout 7 weeks post op, I can finally sleep on my stomach again! So hang in there, you'll be able to sleep on your stomach again some day! ~Amber~

I'm about seven weeks post op., and I lost 20 pounds - but gained 5 back:( , and I pretty much have no restriction at all right now. So, it's definately time for a fill! I have an appointment on Oct. 1 (only one week from today!). I've been so excited about getting this fill, but I can't help but be frustrated by all the evidence that shows that it usualy takes at least 3 fills to get any real restriction. I'm just not that patient I guess. I just want to know....has ANYONE out there gotten the apppropriate amount of restriction from just one fill? And also... can the people who have the 11 cm lap band tell me how many cc's it took to get to their "sweet spot", and how many fills it took to get them there? I would appreciate it so much! Thanks! ~Amber~