Ferocious Frustration!
· cuteascanbelizzie · 12/07/2011 17:18
Also, I'm wondering why some people volunteer to help during this time and they don't do anything but cause frustration. I asked a co-worker to take the lead on a project during my recovery but nothing has gotten done. I consider the co-worker a friend and this situation really made me angry. Now my students won’t get something I really wanted to give them before the break.
Lastly, is the basis of all of my frustration. I really want to be the old me because it was so much easier than actually having to take care of myself. I have never really been so concerned about eating to live. Eating is a part of life so I just did it. Now what I consume is even more important than ever and I'm frustrated with feeling so restricted by my own needs. I want to be able to cook a chicken breast, chew it, swallow and be done. No puree, no liquid protein, nothing! I want to be able to make sure I get to see my students before Christmas and be able to orchestrate everything I need to for them without having to worry about adult issues. I simply want to put my needs behind me and take care of everything else first. It's what I've always done and how I've never managed to lose enough weight to become healthy. I keep praying and asking God to help me deal with me. I know I have to take this one day at a time but I need a breakthrough!
If you read this cazy vent please say a prayer for me. I know that prayer works and I have faith that I’ll pull through this rut of frustration.
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