Lissa

... he's 100% supportive of my decision to pursue VSG!
Although I have been "quietly" researching this on my own for quite a while, I hadn't yet talked it over with him, mostly for two reasons... first, I really didn't think I could go b/c we have special needs twins that require all hands on care from both of us and two, my husband is so protective of me, I didn't think he would let me go to MX on my own.
However, I was stupid to think I was researching secretly... this morning, HE brought it up and he said he's known for over a month that I was looking into this b/c I have left myself logged into this forum many times on my iPad and it's been the first screen which popped up every time he has used my iPad! lol! He also recognizes that I give 2000% to our children and that he wants me to feel happy, energetic, confident... heck, maybe even a little sexy! He told me he wants me to do this for me and as soon as I want to!
I could not have asked for more... I am so excited and a bit tearful that he continues to show his love and concern for me like this even after 26 years of being together (2 dating, 2 engaged, 22 married!)!
I already have dr. clearance to go so just looking at dates, flights, and child care and then it will happen!
Today is a good day!

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

Thanks, Cheri!

you look awesome Lissa! Hope you are feeling better after the gall bladder episode!

Not a little black dress, but I love these pics.
For reference

The gurgling is somewhat normal. It means your bowels are moving, which you know because you've gone to the bathroom. Walking helped me deal with the gas pain and gurling. Try only drinking Water and Clear Liquids for the rest of the day and see if that doesnt calm your tummy sounds. It's possible that the Protein drink and Tomato juice are too much for your new sleeve to handle. I was actually told to avoid citrus and tomato based juices for the first month or so because they are very acidic.

I'm absolutely going off topic just to say it's nice to see Lissa around again!
~Cheri

If I did INSANITY, I would have a stroke. They have a guys yoga - strength training video by Diamond Dallas Page (the old wrestling guy). Seems like yoga would be kind to your knees while helping build up strength. I saw this video about a guy who could barely walk and what it did for him...pretty inspiring, so I thought I would share. GOOD LUCK!

I was horribly out of shape prior to surgery and I literally started by walking up and down the hallway inside my apartment, then around the closest end of the building, then the further end of the building. About 3 weeks out I walked around the 1/4 mile perimeter of the lake at my apartment complex and I felt like Rocky!!! I did light weights, 2 pounds, for arm lifts, biceps curls, etc. I did 10 reps at a time, then built up the number of reps until I could do 100 reps without feeling anything, then I changed the weights for 5 pound weights.

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

I am a traveling notary in Florida, currently separated from my DH. I have two grown sons and a stepson that I will continue to claim as mine forever.
I'm 45 and just bought my first ever house alone!! I've been moving for days, so have been offline for a few days.
I've been self employed for 10+ years and I love it!
I see, read, live to garden and do DIY projects, and I am an aspiring writer. Someday...
Lissa

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

All I can say about this topic is that my boyfriend is 36, non-sleever, but he's amazed at my stamina. Ha! I wear HIM out! LOL

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

I can start scheduling stops for you... For a small price that is...

Oh, yeah! I'm up and raring to go! I cannot believe how great I feel now. I had long-term back pain that the gallbladder removal has eliminated. I didn't even realize how much I hurt until my GB went bye-bye. Thanks for asking!

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

I've read this thread several times and I keep thinking I should put down my thoughts, but I'm not sure how clear they are at this point. Please forgive me if this turns into a ramble.
I have been going through pictures of myself the last few days and one thing I've noticed is that I was so unhappy in all of my older pictures. Not just because I was fat, but also because I was in a horrible emotional place. I was depressed and felt unloved and undeserving of love. I've said all along in my journey that I recommend therapy...and not just for food issues. I've spent a good amount of time on a therapist's couch and it didn't feel like it was doing me any good to go in there every week or two, cry a river, then go home all upset. So, I quit seeing her about six months ago. What's interesting is that I feel like I've grown emotionally in the last six months, but I've built on the things she taught me.
I went through a fairly long period where I felt like I was masquerading in a thinner body and another couple of months where I kept kicking myself because I'm not at my "goal" weight yet. In the last month or two I've realized that my "goal" weight is probably unrealistic. I'm not sure that I can mentally or physically reach 190 pounds, or that I'd be any more comfortable at 190 than I am currently. I'm hovering around 235-230 and I'm comfortable here. I've had a couple of plastics consults and the surgeon seems to think (and I agree) that my maximum weight loss will be another 10-15 pounds, plus about 10 pounds from the Tummy Tuck. Truthfully, I agree.
I'm good with the weight I am now, and I'm getting lots of positive feedback from other people, especially men. I have a 30 year old firefighter telling me how fine I look, and a new boyfriend who adores me and my body. I get lots of other attention from men, so I'm feeling that I look good. I'm healthy, happy, and I don't think I can ask for a lot more. It's taken some time to get to this place mentally, but it's been so worth the journey.
Right now, I think the best word that describes where I'm at on this journey is CONTENT. I love myself, and I think that carries over to other people. It allows me to be nicer to people. It also allows me to have enough self-esteem not to worry a whole lot about what others think of me or about me. I'm more accepting of them because I'm more accepting of me. I'm human and I have faults, but I'm worthy of everything good. I think that acceptance of things as they are is the best gift I've gotten from this whole journey.
It's been quite a ride, but it's so worth it!!!

It's definitely a sink or swim scenario we are thrown into! It has forced me to face so many issues that I blocked out with food. Just another reason I wish I had done this sooner...here I am in my forties getting my self together. I would have loved to be in this place in my 20's or 30's

As for the emotional side, the biggest thing I had to do was confront my baggage.
I thought that losing the weight would make me insta-happy. Surely my lack of confidence, my anger, my unhappiness were all tied up in the obesity I'd been battling since fourteen.
Once I got close to goal I really had to reevaluate that idea. Because I still wasn't happy. I wasn't overeating or using food as a crutch - I'd shaken most of those habits. But I still felt angry. I still wasn't happy. I couldn't figure out what was going on.
And then I started to really think about why I was obese in the first place. And it all led back to hurts from my upbringing and bad relationships with family members. For the first time I confronted my parents on the truly miserable and rotten job they did. I'm not exaggerating here or being melodramatic. Plenty of kids grow up thinking they could do things better or differently than their parents. But mine were truly awful. No kid should know the names of the state DCFS investigators and social workers by name and sight, but they visited our house more often than my grandparents.
I was able to really get through to my mom and it was huge. We're never going to be the absolute best of friends but we've come a really long way and are pretty close now. I had to eliminate the toxic relationships. I had not realized how much having certain people in my life was damaging me. But it was! And I was angry and resentful without really even realizing that I was the one in control - I could very easily choose to simply walk away from those relationships.
So I did. I don't speak to entire branches of my messed up family tree anymore. And that's fine. It's actually really, really liberating.
For me, a lot of what I had to shake was the anger - I had to either forgive people or forget them entirely. And I had to forgive myself and accept that I deserved to be happy despite mistakes in my own past and despite the fact that people had been tearing me down my entire life.
I am not perfect. We all carry around things from our past. I still struggle sometimes but I really feel like the bigger part of the journey (and I say this all the time) is finding out what makes us obese in the first place. Because in my case, I had a lot of issues that I was burying under food.
I'm very different now. I like the changes in myself. I'm happy and can't really remember a time in my life before this when I ever just accepted myself for who I am, faults and all.
I'm also more friendly (though it took a while to learn this) and affectionate. I don't feel shame - not of my body, not of my past - and I think that really helps me.
Anyway. I think this is the real thing people should focus on. For some people, this is just a way to shed fifty pounds. But for so many more I think it's a way to shed years and years of bad feelings, bad habits and bad experiences. I think that without overcoming these obstacles, I might not have been able to maintain. Being unhappy all the time probably would have made it easier to fall into those old emotional eating patterns.
~Cheri

I came home from a week of restaurant eating limited excercise and instead of gaining, I actually made goal. I am beside myself with joy. I never really believed this day would come.
11/30/2011 Start of preop weighed 308
12/11/2011 Day of surgery weighed 300
2/23/2013 - 14 months later I weigh 158/size 8/fit and healthy!!!!! wooo hooooo
I will have to do a post with photos later... but off to the gym. I was just so excited I had to share with my fellow vets!!!!!!!!!!!!!