batiircabur

I know exactly what your going through. My husband was gun-ho about the seminar. He went, listened, had questions. Then about a month into making the decision he started wearing a tummy pusher I asked why and he got very defensive so i left it alone. Then he bought a guitar out of the blue, when I asked him about that he also got defensive. One day I just sat him down and pretty much made him tell me what is going on. He broke down telling me that I'm going to change, not only physically but mentally. He said that I was going to leave him. It took me a good 4 months of almost everyday talking with him. Now he is fine with the idea. He even has said he would cut out soda because I wont be able to drink it. You just have to give him time and let him react. Good luck and congrats on the band-day!

Hello Everyone, I am in my 4th month of the required 6 month PCP visit. I've done the psych evaluation and start my surgeons program this December. My husband recently started changing things, such as wanting to get rid of some of his hobbies, things he's collected for so long. He bought a guitar and today he was talking about getting a motorcycle. This is not the person I married. He has been distant, not really wanting to do much, and when confronted he said "I'm changing because your going to leave me when you lose all the weight." I have tried and tried to explain to him all the pros this decision will be for the BOTH of us (we talked extensively before my decision and he was 100% supportive). Nothing is working. He is utterly terrified that when i lose the weight I will hunt down another man and leave him. I have never, and he agrees, given him a sliver of a worry that I would ever leave him or want to for that matter. I'm doing this to better my life, not change who I am. I understand how he feels because we both know people that left their spouse's after a significant weight loss, but both instances was because there was no support, motivation, or understanding on either part. We have all these....I even brought up marriage counseling for the both of us but he's in such a funk he really is zoned out. Does anyone have any similar instances with your spouse after/before/during being banded and could give me some advice? I'm really at a loss, and I HAVE to keep going forward with this. But should my marriage be on thin ice for it?

Thank you so much for your comments. He recently purchased one of those black strap things that go around your waist that make you sweat....he said he wanted to start losing weight too. He's gone with me to all my PCP visits and I would like him, if possible, to attend my surgeons program with me so he is IN this process with me fully. I think we'll be ok, it'll just take a lot of patience and comforting on my part, and trust and effort on his.

THANK YOU CHERI!!!! That is some great advice! I love the idea of him being my coach and I actually brought up him coming with me to some type of support group for band patients. I also really like the idea of asking my surgeon about having another married couple tell us their story. I will write that down on my "what to ask" list when I meet with him in December. Btw, I have told him that when I start to have more comfortable "flexibility", the bedroom's gonna be crazy, cause obviously I'm not able to be "adventurous" as we like and so I'm SURE he'll love that "change" lol (random fact, I apparently like quotations lol) We have been talking a lot, after work yesterday, last night, and the ride to work this morning. I think he's feeling a little better. I think reassuring him and making sure he understands why Im doing this and what the overall outcome can look like helps him. Thanks again!

Thank you for the book suggestion I will look into this.

Hi there, I'm wouldn't say I'm that young, however, everyone is entitled to their opinion lol. I have a lot of experience under my belt for my age. My husband is 7 years older then me and an already emotional person so I've learned through the years how to approach him. I honestly think he'll be ok. But as you said reassuring him is the key I believe. Regarding the psych evaluation, I've already done that as it is required by my insurance, however, counseling is always an option. Thanks!

Thank you, I have talked about all the positive things that will happen afterwards. We can bike ride, I have a bike and can not ride it whatsoever. I told him about how we can just go ride to the park or go to a nice restaurant without fear that I might be uncomfortable sitting at the table. Im sure he'll be ok, its just a little depressing that I'm making this decision and its hurting him. But, reassuring him everyday has been my goal since I found out....it can only get better.

Thank you, thats exactly what I told him. I'm me and always will be, I'll just be a smaller version.

Can I ask what insurance you have?

Yesterday, October 6th, I went for my psychological evaluation. My appointment was at 3:15 but I arrived at 2:30 to fill out paperwork. I didnt get called until 3:45, no biggy. I sat down with the doctor and had an hour long conversation. She asked questions that I assumed were going to be asked. I gave her my answers straight forward. I wanted her to know I'm in this and I have researched all kinds of scenerios, good and bad and am ready for it. After the appointment she said that she seen no signs of mental instability and cleared me! So we sent over the forms to my surgeons office. Now I just need to finish out the 6 month PCP diet (which i've lost 5lbs so far) and go to the surgeons 4 week program starting in December. I feel 2012, for so many reasons, is going to be the year I finally get to start my life!!!!!

I went to my OBGYN a couple weeks ago because I hadnt had a period in awhile. I told her I did not want Birth control because my husband and I have been "trying" for 2 years so she gave me provera. However, now that I am going to go through the lap band surgery I didn't want provera and would rather do birth control so that 1. I can finally have a period after 114 days and 2. not get pregnant before the surgery (which is weird to me since I've been peeing on a stick for so long). I called my surgeons office and they said I could be on BC but would have to stop it 4 weeks before surgery and not get back on 4-6 weeks after surgery. I then asked them about Provera but she wasnt familiar with it (its to make me have a period with still have the possibility of getting pregnant). Does anyone have advice or have any experience with this. I've always had irregular periods, however, 114 days is kinda pushing it to ridiculous. Thanks!

Thank you for the information...I'm confused why people are thinking my post was about me getting pregnant. My intentions previously was to get pregnant and went to my OBGYN for help. Thats when she told me about the surgery and since have put attempting to have children on hold. My COMPLETE focus is this surgery and getting healthy and am trying NOT to get pregnant in the meantime that is why im asking about birth control. Thank you all for your information I will be starting birth control soon, once I get a period they said they would prescribe it so i've started taking Provera to jump start that. In the meantime we are being safe. I'm not doing this for the main purpose of getting pregnant I'm doing this to be able to maintain a happy and HEALTHY life and can only hope I do have children in the future, and if so, I'm going to be here long enough to enjoy them. Thanks again!

OBGYN says that I need to first have a period before they will proscribe Birth control. So...after I take Provera and start I will get the birth control and just stop 4-6 weeks before I turn in my insurance request. I'm guessing because there wasn't any replies after 208 views this hasnt been an issue...but wanted to let someone know that might of been wondering the same thing as me.

Hi Everyone, I am just starting my jouney with Lap band. I went to the seminar and have made an appointment with my surgeon for December to start his 4 week program. In the meantime, I have to have 6 months (4 visits min) supervised physician diet/weight/BMI documented visits. My question is did you find someone special to go to (like a weight loss clinic that measures you, weighs, gives you supplements and such) or did you go to your primary doctor? If you went to your primary doctor do they honestly know what they have to do? My appointment is today and I really hope I'm doing the right thing. I would hate to go 6 months and it be something that was not done correctly. I have Avmed insurance if that helps your answers. Thanks!

I live in Florida and have AvMed. I have to do 6 months of physician document diet/exercise (basically i do this on my own go back and tell him how i did and he writes it down). Then they weigh me and that's it from PCP. I have to do a physiological evaluation as well but not a nutritionist visit. I will however meet with one when I start my surgeons 4 week program. Its 4 weeks of meeting with the surgeon, nutritionist, and video and questionnaire. Its $525 out of pocket expense.

It is a requirement for my insurance company, each one is different, although I've heard a lot of people doing the 6 month physician supervised diet. My doctor said its basically to show the insurance that I am trying and that he is documenting my efforts. I have to have a physiological evaluation as well for my insurance. Regarding your other questions I'm afraid if its not covered its just not covered. When I went to the LapBand seminar they went over the payment options and its states if your insurance doesn't cover it; its out of pocket, however, they did give lots of options on payment methods. You could look into if your surgeon offers a payment plan or any other advise on any other payment options. Good luck!

I decided to go to my PCP. He seen me this past Monday and will continue for the 6 months. My surgeons office said to start their 4 week program in December so that way everything will be completed, requirement wise, by my last visit to PCP in February and they will submit to my insurance on March 1st. My PCP wasnt very enthusiastic, it was sort of just a bunch of writing he didnt really give me any advise of any kind so it was a little discouraging. Kind of made me feel like I wasnt going to take the 6 month seriously so he wasnt either. My next visit I'm going to make sure to let him know I am serious and would like his support in this matter, support is one thing I lack and it would be nice to have it from someone like him. All in all I'm getting anxious and I'm only 1 visit in. I'm trying to eat better and I started walking around my neighborhood this week. Thanks for the great advise I'm really glad I stumbled upon this site.

WOW, that is incredible. I dont see my PCP that often but hopefully that is something he could do as well. I wont hold my breathe, If i have to do the 6 months so be it. Its worth the "weight". Thanks for the comments so far. I am keeping my PCP appointment for today and not bothering with the Weight Loss clinic idea.