teacherz

So.... Haven't been back to this thread in a few days, but it's nice to read everyone's posts. Although I feel comforted by what I've read, I'm still SO anxious & frustrated right now - even if I know logically I shouldn't be... My story? I was banded on the 19th. I had my first post-op doctor visit last Thursday the 28th, and I was down 22 lbs since I had gone on my pre-op diet on July 14th. I was really excited! Now... between this site and what the PA said to me that day, I knew my loss numbers would not be the same in the following days. It just makes sense I wouldn't lose as much now that I had the clearance to eat something besides broth and sugar-free Jello & popscicles, right? Yet, I'm actually really down right now that I'm at a stand-still right now - maybe I've lost a lb or 2...
Background: I've always had a hard time with my weight. I was sort of thin in high school, but as I look back that was probably because I had a boarderline eating disorder - as many girls did in my class. I have had hips & big breasts since at least 6th grade, I'm not that tall (5' 4"), and my mother didn't eat OR cook. So although I look at myself in HS photos and am OK with what I see, I know I NEVEr felt skinny like many of my friends, and know that I ate maybe a few bowls of Cereal a day to be that way... And that was when my metabolism was probably at its best!
Fast-foward through a high stress career, three children (one who was diagnosed 3 years ago with autism), and an illness (not cancer) in April of 2010 that almost killed me, caused me to lose all of my hair, and effectively wrecked my metabolism, and here I am today. I've done the diets, the weight watchers points, the personal trainers since then,,, all to starve myself, kill myself, and lose 10 lbs in 2.5 months... This is when I finally decided on surgery. I KNEW (I KNOW) it is not the magic answer to my problem, and I;m happy I've already lost twice the amount than in my previous, serious attempt. BUT... I can't help but need a little moore "nudging: to know this surgery is worth it. I can't even start to think that I went to this drastic measure only to have to obsess unhealthily about food and carbs and fat and Water intake and measurements... and become one of those people who talk about food constantly = "Oh, do you know about such and such recipe/replacement/blah, blah, blah" = their only topic of conversation topic?? I want to live my life = social, cocktails, making a dinner for my three boys & husband that we can all eat,,, But I want to lose too!!!
OK. I've ranted & raved enough. I'm just having a little melt-down, and am hoping there is someone else out there like me who is feeling the same. Again... I know it could be worse. But I'm eating 800 calories or less right now, but not seeing results. SO hoping my "fill" on the 22nd will help - but don 't want to get my hopes too up either...
Here's to a great end of summer!! (As a teacher, I count out my time in this way. Hoping to feel on a better path come the start of a new school year
Thanks for listening (reading) Would love any words of wisdom, encouragement, tips, or just a note telling me I'm not a total freak-show... LOL
HUGS!! Kell