Amanda 3.0

Hi kimmr, You are just being normal. I think most people are at least a little frightened of this surgery. I know that I refused to think about it in the days leading up to surgery and then, when I got to the hospital, I freaked out! I knew surgery was the right thing to do, but it is also a huge (HUGE!) step, as you know. The nurse gave me a few valium and knocked me out or I might have left the hospital before surgery. If you are not opposed to it, you might ask for something to calm your fears these last few days. Just an idea. It sure helped me! Good luck, I am sure you will do great!

I just wanted to point out that I intentionally used the wrong form earlier in this thread! lol And for me, it isn't the error that is annoying. It is the lack of caring and defensiveness (usually) when it is pointed out. A common retort is "Spelling nazi, you know what I meant", instead of "Oh, thanks!" It is harder to know what someone is trying to say when the wrong words are being used. I get distracted when I am reading sometimes, between the wrong words and all these text abbreviations. I know that I make mistakes when I am posting. I often have to go back and clarify what I am trying to say in a post. I try to make it easier for people to figure out what I am trying to convey, not leave them guessing. I am sure I fall short of the mark quite often. Also, I am guilty of using comma splices and incomplete sentences way too often in my online communications! Bad habits everywhere!

Yes, I am thinking about how I am going to get back to work this year. I will need some new clothes for that, but without working now, I am not sure what type. Fortunately, I have two bins of clothes from when I was smaller to go through. That is how I have been managing without buying clothes - dig out of the old bins. I actually have clothes as small as a size 6. Although jeans styles have changed, I wear a long shirt. And some of the work clothes will still be in style, I hope. I was never lucky at Lane Bryant. I am a shorty and everything at Lane Bryant seems to be for much taller people. I have always had good luck with Lands End's petitie lengths. My favorite "big lady's" store is (was?) Avenue. Sure, most of the pants were too long but I had at least some success there. And they have fabulous sale racks!

LOL Dooter - I hate buying clothes with a passion. Maybe not so much today! Still, I intend to buy very little until I stop losing. So expensive! It was so nice to NOT need the biggest size, and even though they were a little big, those 14s will be great for a while.

I have had drinks and that is with my surgeon's permission. I am just at three months out and have had no complications. Check with your surgeon, and if all is well, definitely try it at home. Sipping a glass of wine does nothing to me, but mixed drinks do hit hard. I think because they go down so easy. I have had three mixed drinks (mixed with diet juice) in one night (over a period of hours) and that was really pushing it. Before surgery that would have been no big deal. I have heard of other people being even more sensitive. Definitely try it at home first, if you can.

Just about every surgery in a hospital under a general anesthesia will require you removing everything and going in with just a gown. It is really nothing to worry about. First, they aren't looking. Second, they've seen it all! No worries.

That was one of my first dinners out: a side of grits with a poached egg on top. It was wonderful, even though I could only eat a little bit! Thanks for the reminder as I need to make those at home.

Maybe he doesn't care what she thinks, but all it takes is one person to hear about it and that is less money in his pocket. You are probably right, but if she doesn't at least try then she will likely be without a surgeon. And I do think she should out him on here if he can't be decent to his patients. As if this isn't hard enough, without rude doctors!

Have you told him that his attitude makes you want to not come to see him? I am sure he hears it all, but really, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Perhaps call and ask if he can transfer you as a patient and see if he is willing to change his ways. It would be a shame to burn the bridge though, in case you need him in the future.

Hi and welcome! First of all, I think you are very smart for addressing where the root of the problem truly exists for most of us. I have tried to deal with more than one therapist, and in my experience, most of them will say whatever it takes to get you in the door and as a paying client. So if I were you, I would check with the bariatric surgeon's office for some therapists in your area who deal with overeating issues. Also, check with the support group in your area for good therapists - maybe attend a meeting and ask who some of the post-surgical people have used. Also, if you want to get the ball rolling on addressing food issues, you may wish to check out books by Geneen Roth. You can find her books on Amazon. One good one is Women Food and God, which was recommended by the therapist I found during my pre-op process (and the only therapist worth a darn in this area, IMO). Check out the reviews of her books on Amazon and try her out. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment, but reading, and just dealing with some of the issues in my head had helped me tremendously. Not to say that everything is worked out, because it isn't, but the majority of the eating behaviors are gone. Good luck to you, this is a great place for help.

HAHAHA - you're post made me laugh out loud! I always wonder about the apostrophes for plurals. People seem to apply them randomly. I have noticed that on menus, etc., some plurals will have an apostrophe and some won't. I always want to ask why "margarita's" has an apostrophe but "martinis" does not! Is it just random? Is there rhyme or reason? WHY? Also, is in only in America where people don't even try to use the language correctly? You would think that people would just try for excellence instead of getting bent out of shape for someone pointing out that they are using a word that means something completely different than intended. We all do it at times. I, for one, would rather know.

I was going to ask if he had weight issues of his own, but I see you answered that. When we are big, and in a relationship with a large person, it gives them a license of sorts to do what they want to do, eat what they want to eat. Just a guess, but I would think that your increasing success is waking up some fears inside your husband. Maybe the fear is that other guys are going to start paying attention to you. But I would guess even more that he is realizing that his own eating behavior is going to have to change, especially given that he is making comments about letting himself get so fat. Can you encourage him to get on board with getting healthier, like Vance said? I have my own issues with my own family at this point, so I know we cannot put them on a diet, but maybe he can address his food behavior. Congratulations on your success!

Canned chicken still is not my best friend, and I am three months out. And guess what? I cannot handle avocado AT ALL and I don't care if I never see another avocado. Before the sleeve I was really enjoying avocado. You have to try different things, and you may have to try things at intervals. Like maybe canned chicken next month, but not this month. Many people have a good experience with refried Beans. Those were heavenly first foods. You can add cheese as well. If you need to, you can thin them with chicken broth. If you must have canned chicken, you may wish to break it up and add it to soup. I like the tomato basil bisque from costco (has Kirkland and Campbell's on the label) with my canned chicken.

Maybe your feedback could help them put together a better plan because with all you have going on, a good written plan is so valuable. I left the hospital (and my surgeon's office ahead of time) with so much information that it would make your head spin. I did not have to make one call regarding what I could/couldn't or should/shouldn't eat. As for the answer to your original question, for me it was week five! And then it needed to be thoroughly chewed.

I am still wearing my pre-surgery bras, but need to buy smaller (trying to use clothes as long as possible). Obviously I am on the smallest hook now, but there is definitely a little more room in the cup. I had a reduction almost two years ago, which was wonderful. I went from a too-small DDD to a D, having almost four pounds removed from each breast. Hopefully I will end up a C. When I had the reduction, I had no plans for weight loss surgery. The surgeon didn't want to make my breasts smaller than a D because of my size. The breast reduction of course included a lift, so they are up where they belong. When I look at the way my clothes fit, I have to say that the breast reduction adds as much to a better fit as the weight loss. And of course, exercise is much easier without the burden of overlarge breasts.

I told the psychiatrist that I had thrown up a few times a long time back and I had to jump through all kinds of hoops for possible "eating disorders". Any pushback on my part (OMG, look at me, I am NOT bulemic) just made them more convinced that I had issues. I learned pretty quick to just let them do their thing and get paid. They have the power to not clear you so you have to jump through the hoops now. It wasn't a matter of convincing them I needed it, it was a matter of them testing me to ensure I wasn't messed up or going to turn to throwing up food after the surgery. Sometimes a little too much honesty during that psychiatric evaluation turns into a big pain in the butt, but I think you'll be fine if you just do what they say (take the extra time, and tests if needed). If you resist, you get an extra label added to your file. Good luck! I am sure you'll be able to make it happen.

Also some people feel like if they know, they need to keep tabs on your progress or cheer you on or something. I am way too private for that! Just treat me like everyone else is all I ask. Although if someone has questions about the surgery or may even want it themselves, I am happy to discuss it. But other than that, my weight loss is not a group effort!

Different people want to handle it different ways. I didn't keep it a secret but I didn't broadcast it either. I really don't need everyone's two cents about my weight loss or the surgery. People tend to treat overweight folks with a little less respect and my weight loss is my own business. I don't discuss much of my personal business of any nature with the world, but then I am more private than most.

Hi Minaleigh, one thing to consider is that it can take a couple of years for your skin to catch up with you. Your sig mentions your sleeve date as just four months ago. I am not saying that skin may not sag but I have heard that it might take two years to see what the skin will do on its own. I am in my mid/late 40s and I think I might like an arm lift, but I will wait two years at least to see what happens as this would be considered cosmetic surgery (by insurance) for me. Maybe I will be okay. I hope your skin firms up over time, I definitely think younger is better.

Your concern is very valid, and one I think of from time to time. But, I think I would rather have 20 years fully enjoying an active life at a more normal weight than living with the daily upset of being morbidly obese and hiding in the house for the next 20 years. My husband was so supportive of me during my pre-op time, and although he was scared, he did point out that we do not need a stomach to live. I think we will be okay, or at least we will be happier on our way out!

I am in my mid/late 40s and I wish I hadn't spent so many years yo-yo dieting and hating myself. When I was in my 20s, people were still getting their jaws wired shut to lose weight. If you have been overweight for a period of time and are willing to do the work, much of which is in your head rather than your stomach, then go for it. If you are 255 pounds at age 20, you would probably benefit a lot from the surgery rather than battling this demon for another 10 years. Heck, keep those years of your life. As a yo-yo dieter, I can tell you that for me, skin was much more forgiving when I was younger. But the loose skin is a small price to pay for being more normal in size.

I am interested in how this will play out as well. I have quite a few friends who have had some sort of weight loss surgery, with varying results. Also, I have some overweight friends who have not had surgery. I feel that being overweight, we look for acceptance in friends like ourselves and I fear that over time we will not have the condition of being overweight to bind us together. Kind of like we are leaving a very exclusive club. I haven't been able to socialize too much lately and I don't work at the moment so much of my interaction is online (Facebook, email). Because of that, I don't know how these relationships will change in person when I reach my new normal. I do already feel less tolerant of food addiction behavior because I have lost most of my interest in food. What will the people at Facebook do now that I don't want to upload pictures of my every dinner?

Oh and P.S. - how petty to not allow you to attend the support group! The support group at our hospital is open to all.

I don't think that the U.S. doctors are assuming any medical risk by taking on patients who have been sleeved in Mexico. I think that is the one weak link in "medical tourism" - it is too far for aftercare. They know this, and this is the one tool some of these doctors have to keep self-pay people here in the U.S. The word will get out, like it is getting out in this discussion, that aftercare in the U.S. is not easy to find after surgery in Mexico. Maybe five people will read this thread and stay in the U.S. I also think this is a huge money-maker for these surgeons. Some of them do run surgery mills. Some of the surgeons have ownership in the sleep study centers and surgery facilities. Now is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. But many of them are in it for the money, that's okay as long as they do my surgery properly and give me a pleasant enough experience. A "mill" is not a bad thing. A surgeon does a lot of the procedure and he gets pretty darn good at it. It is the same with these big lasik centers. As for payment plans for U.S. surgeons? That sounds like car dealerships. They want to concentrate on the monthly payment rather than the total cost. If the surgery is $6,000 in Mexico, and $12,000 in the U.S. (although those same surgeon/hospital teams claim over $100,000 when all is said and done when they bill your insurance), who cares what the payment is? It is still money out of our pocket. I have read my insurance paperwork and it states that complications arising from uncovered procedures are not covered. So if you go to Mexico, and the complications arise specifically from the surgery, you may not be covered. The cost of medical care in this country is ridiculous and the system is broken. A surgeon submits a claim to insurance for $16,000 for a procedure and receives a little over $2,000. Who knows what the cash pay patient pays? It isn't $16,000. Why a bill for $16,000 is ever generated in the first place is beyond me, since no one is paying $16,000. I guess that serves to boost the "reasonable and customary" fee up. These comments are not just about bariatric surgery. The same thing happened with my husband's back surgery. And I loved my experience with my bariatric surgeon. It is just the stupid way things work here.