Amanda 3.0

Thank you for the paragraphs, LovingHusband, that makes things easier to read. I would like to point out to you that we are trying to help you here. Yet, you are calling us ignorant and narrow-minded. And that is exactly how you are also coming across. We, for the most part, know how your wife feels, and we are pointing that out to you. You were crying... that's about you. You tell her she's the most beautiful... that's about you, she doesn't feel that way. What she thinks about herself is so much more important than what you think about her... that's about you. You need to look in the mirror while you are throwing out your insults. Not sure if you will be able to see that though. My husband has told me that he finds me beautiful many times, daily, but a woman who is 50 - 75 pounds overweight knows she is not the most beautiful. Honestly, we are not stupid. We get picked on, looked down upon, sneered at by kids, looked at cross-eyed if we have the nerve to have a dessert in a restaurant. Clothes look bad on us, the selection is frumpy. Arm flaps don't go away because husby says we are beautiful. We are still fat. I also wanted to ask when is the last time you saw that ex-girlfriend who lost the 80 pounds through diet and exercise? I have lost 100 pounds in one year through diet and exercise. Several times! Guess what? A good portion of it came back. I don't know how old your wife is, but I finally decided that I have had it with waking up each morning to the horror of being fat. Detesting myself should be enough to make me exercise and put down that fork. As a member of a high-IQ society, that should be easy for me to figure out, right? But basically, LovingHusband, it sounds like she has made up her mind. I hope you don't come back to post under the name of LovingExHusband.

Lovinghusband, you asked for advice, if you are still around. Here is my advice: If she is planning on using insurance to pay for the surgery, let the insurance company deny her if she doesn't qualify. During the time she is working towards insurance approval, support her and encourage her. If she is approved by insurance, continue to support and encourage her. If she is planning on being a self-pay, look up the average insurance requirements for this surgery and if your wife meets those requirements, support and encourage her. Insurance requirements often include: A BMI of at least 40 with no comorbidities, or a BMI of 35 with two or more comorbidities (diabetes, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc.) Psychological testing Sessions with a counselor if suggested by psychiatrist A minimum of three sessions with a dietician Documentation of prior weight loss attempts Letter of recommendation by primary care physician Weight loss of 5 - 10% in six months prior to surgery. Personally, I think you come across as very controlling. You don't mention any facts about your wife (could have been lost in the long post which lacked paragraphs, making it hard to read). What is her BMI? You sound like one of those people who thinks the answer to weight loss is to "put the fork down". That's true, but unrealistic as there is a HUGE psychological component to weight and food. Did you know that for some, the act of eating affects the brain just like heroin? Anyway, you asked for advice, there's mine. Oh, and my husband is getting some tonight too now. :smile1:

My surgery was 12/20/2011 and I am at 23 pounds since then, so we are quite similar. I'm happy!

Wow, just wow. I would also have a word with the doctors who spoke directly to your dad and violated your privacy. Although you are on his insurance, if you are over 18, I don't think they can do that without your consent. File a HIPPA complaint. As for dropping you from the insurance plan: Is he court ordered to have you on his insurance? Ask your mother for her copy of the divorce decree. Also, I don't know about your dad's insurance plan, but most group plans through an employer do NOT allow changes during the year unless cerain circumstances arise, like the birth of a baby qualifies to add a family member, or a spouse who carried the family insurance losing their job and insurance would qualify the other spouse to add those members to the policy. But dropping a child from the policy because he doesn't agree with a treatment plan would not be allowed in most employer sponsored plans. Arm yourself with the facts and then talk to him. You have a right to know if you will have health insurance or not. You can even call his employer and ask. Perhaps he is hurt that you didn't include him in your decision, perhaps he is just concerned for you, perhaps he is a control freak, maybe a combination of any or all of those.

DebiC, please let me know how these turn out! I had tried the Arctic Zero (in the pint container) some time ago. Different flavors had different nutrition content. At that time, only one or two flavors had the very low calorie content. I was not impressed with the product at all and never bought it again. I think it was a texture thing for me. I bought it at Sprouts, which is a farmer's market type of chain.

I'm pretty sure a lot of it depends on how one heals in general. I do use the Bio Oil and I am happy. I had a breast reduction less than two years ago, which has substantial scar lines, and between Bio Oil and a very rich Vitamin E cream, some of those scars are almost completely gone. I had read that the Mederma here in the U.S. is mostly an onion extract, while the "effective" Mederma, which is a different formula sold overseas, is a completely different product. Bio Oil is sold at costco now, and there is a store-brand knockoff at Walgreen's.

If you have the discipline to freeze them, you can use frozen Cookies to make either ice cream or frozen yogurt in the summer. I made cookies at Christmas and those that weren't eaten (since I had surgery on 12/20 and my husband got tired of eating and taking to work) I froze in Foodsaver bags. I will make cookie ice cream during summer break when there are kids to eat it up!

Maybe take it a little slower? My first foods didn't include meat. I am at six weeks now and am just starting canned chicken and the like. I have not been sick at all. The hardest thing I've dealt with is eggs, they are a no-go... for now. Hang in there!

My surgery was December 20, 2011 and I will conquer my fear of meeting new people, for fear of being judged for being fat. Or for thinking my husband's career will be limited by my appearance.

Problem is that some of us wanted them too often, and didn't stop at two. Not to derail a relatively light-hearted subject too terribly much, and this is just me, but I've been around the block enough to never say that this is the last time I will be fat. There are always going to be ways to do it. So, not only am I not dating casually, I will not even dance with the cookies. I do plan on having sweets again, someday, maybe a few bites while out, and if it is a really decadent treat. But I am not bringing stockpiles of them into the house, especially with my unsleeved, relatively normal sized, yet bingeing husband! I end up watching him eat the whole box, apparently not really tasting them, and then he regrets it and pisses and moans later! We do have a half gallon of no sugar added chocolate ice cream, which is not getting too much attention. I wonder what's up with that?

I like 'em, especially those thin mints. But between my husband and I, we don't need them. So we just said no this year. After this surgery, which is (I feel) my last chance for success, I just don't view sweets as an option anymore.

My vitamins are the Celebrate brand, and I have had the same problem. Sometimes I think it is the calcium that makes me nauseous, and sometime I think it is the multi. When I am done with these I will be going back to my liquid vitamins and gummy calciums, I hope.

Of course everyone here has great advice, but I wanted to ask you about your feeling of hunger. Where are you feeling this hunger? The reason I ask is that your hunger pangs, if in your abdomen, are probably not hunger pangs, although they feel like what we used to experience. You may be having "head hunger"! You can talk to your nutritionist or surgeon's office about that. I know that I have had feelings I used to think were hunger, and even growling noises, but there is no stomach in that area anymore. What I am feeling is digestive noises and not hunger. If there is an "empty feeling" it is possibly head hunger, which we all have to learn to get over, or we will not win this battle. Realizing this has made it so much easier, although I have to remind myself that it is not hunger. I am surprisingly never really hungry. Also, when you are able to get your protein intake up, if you are having real hunger, protein will knock that hunger back.

I think there are a lot of different experiences. After coming home from the hospital, I didn't lose anything for days. Then I lost, daily, for perhaps over a week. After that I stalled for about two weeks and was told to up my Protein intake! Now I am at six weeks out and I lose a few then stall for a week, which seems to be my pattern. I think we shouldn't worry too much. It will happen, if we follow the program. Stalls are inevitable and certainly frustrating.

I'm just coming up on six weeks post-surgery, so I don't know what will change in the long run. I do know that I am enjoying my spicy foods, which I have always loved. I was worried I wouldn't tolerate them after surgery, but so far, so good! Yay!

Because of the Odwalla incident, I am so cautious about sugar now. It was a relatively easy lesson as I was at home when it happened. What if I had been out? Like others have mentioned, I am a huge fan of the Premier Protein pre-packaged shakes. They have only one gram of sugars, and it is easy to take them anywhere.

What does your surgeon's office suggest? I am coming up on six weeks. My surgeon said it was fine for me to have small amounts of alcohol, and to just take it slow to find my tolerance and most importantly, be sure not to get sick. I had about two ounces of wine over dinner tonight. Dinner lasted over an hour. Vodka with some V-8, or even better, Snap E. Tom, is a nice drink for me. I never drank that combination before. I just sip it so slowly. I feel a slight effect from the alcohol, but it doesn't put me over the edge like it does some people. Of course, like I always say, call your surgeon's office and see what they say.

This is so true. I bought a four pack of what I think was an Odwalla product at Sam's Club. What was I thinking? After I got out of the bathroom (!), I went to read the label again, since it was the only new item I had tried in a while. Sure enough it was loaded with sugar. I know I looked at the label at the store, but I guess I read it wrong or just failed to read the sugar content at all. Lesson learned!

I just want to share my frustration with the processing of my insurance claims following my vsg surgery. First of all, I have jumped through all the hoops required of insurance: 40+ BMI to start Documented weight loss attempts 5% weight loss during 6 month pre-op Nutritionist appointments Psychiatric appointments Diet doctor appointments Blood tests to prove I am a non-smoker Received a letter of medical necessity approving the surgeon and hospital prior to scheduling the surgery. To my knowledge, I am the first one to have this surgery covered by my husband's insurance. Bariatric surgery is newly covered, but not "treatment for obesity". They have initially DENIED every claim with a diagnosis code of 278.01 (morbid obesity). This includes the surgeon, the surgeon's pre-op visit, the pre-op blood work, EKG, etc., blood work in the hospital, etc. I have had to call and contest the denial of every claim, and each has ended up being paid. Yet it is tedious and stressful when I see these huge bills not paid. It has become a morning routine to check my insurance claims online and see for what they have denied payment. Then I make calls to a clueless person who offers incorrect explanations about my insurance coverage. I feel like I am starting from scratch every time I call. I am now requesting review of the pre-surgical dietician's appointments which were denied because they were "obesity treatment". That was about $250 out of my pocket if I remember. That was denied as obesity treatment, when in fact the sessions were required by the insurance and covered life after surgery: Protein, meal portions, Vitamin requirements, medication management. I guess I just feel like griping to people who might just understand. And also, I encourage people going through this to challenge anything not paid. For some insurance providers, this is new territory. That doesn't mean we should have to pay for it. We need to fight for our benefits!

My husband's company is self-insured. They use a company that administrates the benefits, and that is where the problems seems to lie. The network is Aetna, but the employer makes the rules and requirements. The benefits administrator is tasked with following the rules outlined by the employer. It is a bit more complicated, although most huge companies these days are self-insured (to my understanding). We have paid for the most expensive insurance plan for years. We shouldn't be dickering about these bills. I finally requested the intervention of a supervisor because I am tired of calling to dispute every bill. The supervisor said she will review my claims each day to ensure that my claims are not routinely denied. All this in spite of a pre-approval letter! Not making this up.

I totally agree with this, it's so funny! We are still obsessing about what goes in our mouths, but in a different way. I am only 5 weeks out and although I can have solids this week, I am taking it really slow. Since I am still on a lot of Protein supplements, and only "eat" maybe twice a day, I don't worry so much about drinking before/after meals. I wake up, take my thyroid pill on an empty stomach with some Powerade Zero with Benefiber added. sleep a little more, take my multi-Vitamin. Two hours later, take my Calcium. Later in the day, take my multi, two hours later, take my calcium. The one thing that absolutely will change is that I will go back to my liquid Vitamins and supplements after I run out of the bariatric vitamins. The vitamins upset my stomach and they are huge. Another thing I am starting to do is drink prune juice and V8 and/or Snap E Tom. They have a bit of Fiber and vitamins and even a little protein. And, they help with regularity. But yes, it is tiring keeping up with it all. One product I highly recommed is the Premier Protein ready-made shake (I get from costco, but have seen it at Sam's now too). 30 grams of protein in a 11.5 oz carton makes it so much easier to get the protein in.

My thoughts on this is that when we are big, we are part of the "outcasts club". No one wants to be in the outcasts club by themselves. It makes us feel less like outcasts when we are around others like us. When we are big, it is easier to be treated as inferior. And that means sometimes that someone gets to feel superior when they are around us. When we lose weight, we leave the outcasts club and so relationships change. It's sad, but true. Being fat is like living in a prison and when we lose the weight, we are released from prison. But our overweight friends are still in that prison. It is hard to keep the relationship going.

Potato can be a little rough. And, potato doesn't really add much nutrition. I made some homemade potato soup and froze it before surgery, but opted to feed it to my husband (who added bacon and cheese - lol).

I think you can. I made my own soups from scratch prior to surgery and was given the A-OK to eat them. They included black bean and split pea. I just used my immersion blender on them. It was more about the consistency than the ingredients. I think you are good as long as you don't eat a chunk of anything. "Cream of whatever" soups are not particularly nutritious, you are probably better off with the other soups anyway.

If you are going to a diet doctor that works with your surgeon, I would guess they know exactly what to do to get you where you need to be. They are experts in getting your paperwork ready for the insurance company. Don't be afraid, if the doctor allows it, to ask for prescription help. I did, and it made it much easier.