jessyM

wow i just wanted to thank you all for your replies! i had no idea scrambled eggs were notoriously difficult to get down... i'll remember that one! all of your replies have helped and given me some things to think about. thank you so much for the support!

hey there. i was banded in may of 2011 and had an unfill over a month ago because i was throwing up Water when i'd try to drink it in the morning. does anyone else throw up often? since the unfill i still have trouble getting things down and keeping them down - but i also don't feel much of a restriction in the evening hours. i had Breakfast this morning, a scrambled egg, and about 4 small bites into it i swear i somehow threw up more egg than i actually consumed. it was a very intense wave of nausea. am i alone here? it's kind of freaking me out a bit just how nauseous i seem to sometimes get when i first eat. am i taking bites that are too big? do i just need to stick with liquids for my first couple meals? does it sound like my band has slipped? i definitely don't think it's slipped and i'm wondering if maybe i should stick with mushy/soups for a couple of days, or maybe even every day with a real meal at dinner or something. anyway, i'd appreciate any feedback anyone has... i have gained over 10lbs since getting this unfill so i am not willing to get it further loosened. oh blah what the hell is wrong with me!?

Trader Joe's Turkey Chili is easy to eat and way tasty. i add in a little low fat cheese and/or sour cream for extra protein (and tastiness)

Just wanting to see how everyone is. today is 5 months since my surgery and i'm finally back to losing! Any other May banditos out there? Everyone happy with their progress, having problems, have positive stories etc etc,. ?

hey i just had a 2cc fill and that's what gave me crazy restriction. also - i did my usual not eating much all day and then at 6pm i had an omelet and i must say - i am full and comfortable and totally satiated. but i'm almost always head-hungry.. i think most of us are. once we can get a little control over that, i think this becomes a lot easier. i am still very much struggling with it. also, yeah my doc has me on 48 hours of liquids and 2 days of mushies after a fill.

oh! also! F that PA of yours... i had a PA that would poke my belly like i was the pillsbury dough-girl.. and make cracks about my weight AND surgeon. funnily enough he just disappeared one day... i hope one of the other bandsters did what i never had the guts to do and sat on him.

hey i was banded in may and had been stuck at the same-ish weight for about 3 months. ugh. i went in for another fill a couple weeks ago and now i'm feeling something similar to what you are, i think. i cant really drink in the morning, let alone eat. warm liquids tend to loosen the band so i have a cup of hot tea and then the first thing i "eat" is a Protein shake (generally home made or made at the health food store b/c store bought taste like poop)... my weight is FINALLY starting to come down. but if i deviate from having liquids in the morning and very soft foods in the afternoon (my slow cooker has become my best friend, along with Soups and turkey chili) then i get stuck, like really... REALLY stuck. i think it might be an over-fill, but my stupid fat body doesn't want to lose the weight so i'm just sticking with it and doing mostly liquids and soup-y food. i know it can't last forever, but this along with working out at least 3x a week has finally started getting my weight to go down. it's probably not what you want to hear. sometimes i read about people who lose 100lbs in the first year and i want to hit them in the face.... but we're all different and hopefully this will help you. always remember that warm liquids will help loosen the band. good luck! let me know how it goes!

my local health food store makes great peanut butter protein shakes. so now i just make my own at home with protein powder, ff vanilla frozen yogurt, banana and some peanut butter (also maybe some ice cubes). my band is pretty tight & i'm quite restricted so i don't mind the extra calories and it's sooo good. highly recommend

after my second fill, it took a few weeks before i started to really feel the restriction. and i know the same goes for lots of people. so you might need to just give it a little time. or hey, go in for another fill, soon! that's why we have the thing... to choke us when we feel like gorging on bread. lol

same happens to me. it's always stop and go! but i've been working out a lot and can feel it in my clothes. the pounds are holding on for dear life, but if you keep it up they'll eventually fall away. good job on the .5 !

does anyone else do this?! i take a bite of something. chew chew chew and without thinking - i will swallow. and immediately, as it's happening, know that it was too much to swallow at once. and then the need to purge ensues. i had surgery in MAY and i'm still totally struggling with - a) taking a small enough bite chewing said bite into mush c) swallowing d) waiting a sec/taking my time/not acting like my mouth is a turned on vacuum. is it just me? come on brain, THINK.

hello, diary. It's been a while since I updated and i'm pretty sure my last few entries were total bummers. things are going better. i've got a personal trainer (thanks mom 'n dad!) that i see a few times a week and i'm really trying to watch the food. when i get depressed i eat (dont we all) .. but i have type 2 diabetes, and i go on sugar binges. and when i say binge i mean BINGE. and now that i'm taking some medical-type-classes, i'm scared to death of letting my diabetes get more out of control. every new disease i learn about - i assume i have. and everything related to not taking care of diabetes, has scared the **** out of me. but i'm proud of myself and the way i've been controlling my sugar, the past couple of weeks. working out helps. i never, never thought i would say this, but... working out has become something i enjoy. it's still difficult to get myself to the gym. maybe because it's been a lifetime of resisting it. maybe because my family's been on my ass about constantly, and that makes me want to smack them all and hide in my room.. maybe it's because i spent a lot of years tipping the scale at around 300 pounds... but going to the gym has helped my depression immensely. even if it's just for while i'm there, at least that's less time i spend going insane with horrible thoughts. as a result of all of this my weight has finally been moving down some. i'm wearing jeans i havent worn in years and today i finally FINALLY wore a top that i bought 2 years ago and never had the guts to wear because the tire around my stomach was too big. ******* yay. i'm still crazy depressed a lot of the time. whenever i have time to be, basically. it's 2:14am. i have tomorrow off. i'm trying only to take ambien nights when i have to be up early the next day. i am tired, i tried reading and just laying here but nothing works. even being tired won't help me sleep. so i decided to write. i've even, basically, stopped smoking pot. a couple of times in the past month or so (which is good for me)... but i'm thinking about getting stoned tonight. the loneliness and depression are kind of getting to me tonight, and pot really helps lift that mental weight. but it's hard not to eat when i'm stoned. and i've been trying to deal with my emotions, instead of medicating with food and drugs. f**k, this is hard. self medicating is a way of life and ... it's just very difficult. i don't know. i'm rambling... things are going so well, finally.. why am i so depressed and fucked up? in class we were talking about mental disorders and depression. and she was saying how there's no quick fix for it. it bothers the **** out of me that she is right. i should throw some pictures up here. a before surgery and a recent one. in february i weighed 304 pounds. as of yesterday i weigh 257. things are going in the right direction. i miss john so much that sometimes it is hard to breathe. in november it will be 2 years since his death. this should be easier than it is.

i took 2 weeks off and needed it... i recommend wearing dresses or something, as pants pushed into my port and hurt way bad. after about 8 days i was feeling well enough to get up and go out and all that... but it took me 2 weeks before i was back to resembling normal. of course that's just me... after i got banded (in may) i was reading about some people that were ready for work in 3 days. insanity. also make sure to get enough Protein in. bring shakes/bars/whatever to school with you and sip/munch throughout the day.

well, that's cool... Glad you are an open person. I have to sleep now as i have an earlyearly class! It was nice meeting you, let's keep in touch, i think i sent you my email. i'm always looking for a labbandbuddy. good nite!

my family knows... none of my friends. and somehow everyone at my office found out. it's odd. i'm not totally opposed to telling my friends, i just haven't really felt too comfortable with it yet. how about you?

Dr Carson Liu in Santa Monica. he was great & was recommended by a good friend

thanks

is it alright to go even though he wasnt my surgeon?

hey there... i feel alright, but the weightloss has been totally stalled for a few weeks now, which is very frustrating... and i also havent found any support meetings.. how about you?? i'd love to have a local bandster to talk to/hang out with

i was banded in may... just tried popcorn towards the end of july and it's absolutely fine for me. it's actually one of the easier foods for me to digest, it's never gotten stuck and EVERYTHING has gotten stuck at least once. i've met another girl who also does popcorn when she gets things stuck and it's an easy food for her. i never asked my surgeon about it because i never thought i needed to!

I'm going to kill my ******* mother. She constantly harasses me about going to the gym. And i mean harasses. She screams and yells and calls me pathetic and freaks the f**k out that I don't go EVERY DAY. She understands nothing. She respects nothing. It makes me want to never exercise just to spite her but that's so wrong. I can't stand this. I've got to get out of this city and get away from my family. I love them but the closeness is driving me insane. Jesus christ. She knows how depressed and nutty I've been, too. What a ******* moron. I don't know what to do

Ahh! I am having the same issues! I was banded mid-may and just had my second fill. all i think about is food and it's totally impeded my weight loss, lately. you are definitely not the only one, not even close. many bandsters have the same issues as you... maybe try an OA meeting? i was thinking about going to one, just for the support. good luck in everything you do!

hey there! i was also banded may 2011 and have a long way to go. i was 304 at the start of the year, 288 day of surgery and i'm about 265 now.. so i'd say i have a long way to go! my weight loss has really slowed down, recently. just went in for a second fill... how are you doing?

it took me 8 days before the serious pain stopped, and 2 full weeks before i felt "normal" again. i couldnt have gone back to work after just 7 days and all i do is sit at a desk. you're only one week post-op! you will probably be hungry for a while, it's frustrating but once you get through the initial month it will all seem much, much easier. tho i feel you on that post-op blues, period. mine just happens to be hitting me 2 months post op instead of 1 week. hang in there

ah. diary. i hate how you block out words you consider naughty. i will simply have to be more creative. i went out to lunch today with a friend. the first meal out with a non-family member. i like this girl a lot and occasionally thought about letting it slip and just telling her i have the band. but i kept catching myself. if she turns out to be a real and true friend then yes. but until then i am sick of bringing it up, anyway. still having these crazy anxiety attacks.. not as often, but they're there and they fcuk with my being. and i dont know how to attack them, from what angle. sometimes smoking pot helps, but then i just want to eat and eat and eat and eat and eat until i die. which hasnt been helping too much these last few days. i still can't imagine the weight being off. i'm about 265 right now. i gain and lose up to 8 pounds a week, it's insanity. i shouldnt weigh myself every day. it's a terrible habit to get into, and i'm sure most of the people on here would agree with me. i need to be eating more than lean protein and oatmeal. gotta put veggies and multi-vitamins in. STOP SLACKING. speaking of slacking. - working out. i was all gung-ho for a while then it lost some(all) steam. but this week my beautiful amazing mother and i are going to a personal trainer together, to get our workout on. i'm glad for this. i want to build up stamina so that i may stay at the gym longer, and perhaps even know what i'm doing while i'm there. this weight absolutely can not come off fast enough. at the start of this year i was 304. today i'm 264. a few days ago i was 262. i'm a yoyo. but at least i'm getting ******* down with my yoyo self. it just cant be ALL about the food. this depression comes from sitting inside, alone, all day because i dont feel good enough for... society. going to an all ladies gym can help that. definitely. working out with mum will be fun. i see all these women on the forums that are married and it fascinates me. my mind is fukced and all but wow. letting someone touch my body at this weight is not even an option. but then it goes beyond that to things way more psychological. like letting someone love me at this weight. just typing it out makes me feel ill. so... obviously i have deep, deep issues. anyway. was i going somewhere with this? i want this ******* weight off of me. literally and figuratively. i want to get my ass on the ball, eat more veggies and go to the gym at least LEAST twice a week to start. just to start. relax into it. my blood sugar's been good. other than the past 2 days my eating has been tops. my dad occasionally mentions the money he spent on me for this surgery and it makes me feel like a complete failure in life. even tho he doesn't mean to make me feel that way or anything. i dont know. someday i would like for my parents to be proud of me. until then, i'm off into the wild blue yonder.. but not really. it's 1:20am and i am typing this from bed. i want to meet other girls in my spot. why is that so hard?