feedyoureye

This thread is posted in the "post operation gastric sleeve surgery questions and answers" forum, so anyone may reply. If you want a no newbie place to post, go to the Veterans forum, where the hosts try and keep the posts to those who are over a year out. We try and have some places that Newbies and Vets can talk together as well... like here. Many newbies don't really know there is a difference between how you will feel two months out or two years out... We can discuss that here. I think its good for newlie sleeved people to read the Vets Forum posts as well, eve if they can't post there yet... its is a little look into the future for sure.

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Indeed you look fabulous! I love your hair - you look stunning
I created a new little document to track my measurements over time - I had been entering it in a small paper journal, but have run out of room. I added a column for notes/behaviors/activity - of course the topics I usually avoid when I have fallen way to the wayside of the healthy track.
Thanks for that link Kim - I am going to try the Keto thing - (this honestly sounds way more fun than Whole 30 lol - my family would NOT be on board with something that austere) but meat, eggs, cheese - those are things we will all eat. I am about 197 (cringe) right now and here is what that calculator gave me for macros at a 30% deficit - which they say can be hard, but I can always adjust it down. Also set it to sedentary - I know myself and I slack on the exercise as much as I do Water - so anything over sedentary is a bonus.
Daily Calories
1256
20 g. carbs
90 g. Protein
91 g. fat
It says to maintain - my cals would be 1794 - which is right in there with what the machine at my surgeons office says, which had me at 1800 something - though I think my lean body mass was higher - this regain is astonishing in how "flabbaliscious" all the extra fat is - its like I have a new outfit filled with Jello or something
Hope you guys are doing well and hanging in there - love ya!

Went to an art opening at my local gallery, here is a pic of my friend and gallery owner Mima, my crazy neighbor Robert and me....Cant really see my figure there... Bill Cosby sweater around hips and fake snake purse in the way... Had a fun night, saw lots of old friends, glass of wine... nice weather. Got home and Craig messaged he was on the way home early... he went on a motorcycle trip to Montana for 9 days.

Went to an art opening at my local gallery, here is a pic of my friend and gallery owner Mima, my crazy neighbor Robert and me....Cant really see my figure there... Bill Cosby sweater around hips and fake snake purse in the way... Had a fun night, saw lots of old friends, glass of wine... nice weather. Got home and Craig messaged he was on the way home early... he went on a motorcycle trip to Montana for 9 days.

Well, weighed this morning, still 215.8, like it has been for a week. Today coho salmon and homemade garlic mayo

I think there is a line were what you need to do, and what you can do may clash. Not as easy as saying "just get your head in the game" or "Just eat less" or "Just exercise more". Of course these things count... but it looks to me like there may be some other factors at play here. Brain chemestry? Biome health? When I decided to get the WLS I knew that I would have to do something different than I did before surgery. The lifetyle change. I also knew that I couldnt go so far out of my current lifestyle that I would be falling off the wagon at every turn. I decided I would focus on Portion Control, not super low carbs.... I am a vegetarian, and very low carb is pretty hard to maintain with limited low carb Proteins. I could however eat less carbs. I reworked many recipes to better meet my health needs. I would try and eat everything I wanted too... but keep an eye on the numbers at all times... write it down, weight and measure, get enough Protein, drink my Water, maintain consistancy with my exercise.... Every day is a work in progress. When stress and tragidy come into the picture... its just that much harder. The drug componant of food becomes a player too. I have seen others around me here going cold turkey with carbs... I can do that too, but know I can't and don't want to live that way, I have tried to make lifestyle changes that will last in the long run. This means for me that I am closer to the edge of gaining... if I graze a little too much, if I dont bother writing down what I eat for a few days, if I eat for the drug effects (sugar!) or just step out of my routein too much (eating out... vacation, house guests, parties) it all shows on the scale. I have dedicated two days a week to lower carb and calorie consumption for the last year, and I think this helps keep me from gaining more than I already have. I find it harder and harder to really get back into the downward loss mode these days. I just finished the 5 day pouch test a few weeks ago.. I lost 6 1/5 pounds which felt great, of course you know that kind of quick weight loss is a water dump from low carbs, so very easy to gain back. It value was to remember how lower carbs and higher protein can work for retriction which is a value if you have lost track of that quality of the sleeve. (or pouch). I really don't want to become a yo-yo dieter again... and am looking for a way, in the long run to keep this weight off. At 4 1/2 years, I am till in the "successfull" range, but still looking backwards to the time I was at goal and working to try and get back there if possible, in a sane and sustainable way.

I was just reading about the ketosis diet, and they say too much protein can kick you out of ketosis... make up the difference with fat.

You have tried everything else... why not! fat=calories.... no getting around that.
 
here is the link to the ketogenic diet calculator....  http://www.flexibleketogenic.com/

Just keep up what your doing. Eat plenty of fresh veggies. Stalls are normal. It took me 3 year to get to goal... now THATS slow!... and its still a process at 4 1/2 years. Use your myfitnesspal to keep track of your micros... I know I can lose track if I don't.

@startingoveryeyagain, just wanted to check in with you. I am at 4 1/2 years out. It took me 3 years to get to a modest goal (170-173 range) I had regained 20 pounds before I got back on track and lost to goal at year 3. The most I ever lost is still less than you have already lost so far at 1 1/2 years. Congratulations! I know its not what you had hoped for, but it is still AWESOME! My Doc actually asked me before surgery if I would be happy losing 50 pounds... that was his expectation for me, ... I wanted to lose over 80. In the last year I have gained 15 pounds above my goal... and am trying to get it back off. I attribute emotional eating to the gain. I still think I am successful, but have not given up trying to get back to the earlier goal. I believe I will have to keep trying until I die. Maintenance is not automatic. Am I disappointed? Sometimes when I am doing all the right things (at least I think I am!) and the scales go up or stay the same. I think you need to get back on the wagon, and give it some more time. Mix it up if you have too, Use your head instead of your heart to solve this problem... or perhaps better to say ....to address this problem.... its never solved as far as I can see. I have to say that for me the sleeve has worked as a great tool.... when I use it along with a lot of other tools, almost all of the time. Best of luck to you, you are not alone.

@startingoveryeyagain, just wanted to check in with you. I am at 4 1/2 years out. It took me 3 years to get to a modest goal (170-173 range) I had regained 20 pounds before I got back on track and lost to goal at year 3. The most I ever lost is still less than you have already lost so far at 1 1/2 years. Congratulations! I know its not what you had hoped for, but it is still AWESOME! My Doc actually asked me before surgery if I would be happy losing 50 pounds... that was his expectation for me, ... I wanted to lose over 80. In the last year I have gained 15 pounds above my goal... and am trying to get it back off. I attribute emotional eating to the gain. I still think I am successful, but have not given up trying to get back to the earlier goal. I believe I will have to keep trying until I die. Maintenance is not automatic. Am I disappointed? Sometimes when I am doing all the right things (at least I think I am!) and the scales go up or stay the same. I think you need to get back on the wagon, and give it some more time. Mix it up if you have too, Use your head instead of your heart to solve this problem... or perhaps better to say ....to address this problem.... its never solved as far as I can see. I have to say that for me the sleeve has worked as a great tool.... when I use it along with a lot of other tools, almost all of the time. Best of luck to you, you are not alone.

Just keep up what your doing. Eat plenty of fresh veggies. Stalls are normal. It took me 3 year to get to goal... now THATS slow!... and its still a process at 4 1/2 years. Use your myfitnesspal to keep track of your micros... I know I can lose track if I don't.

This thread is posted in the "post operation gastric sleeve surgery questions and answers" forum, so anyone may reply. If you want a no newbie place to post, go to the Veterans forum, where the hosts try and keep the posts to those who are over a year out. We try and have some places that Newbies and Vets can talk together as well... like here. Many newbies don't really know there is a difference between how you will feel two months out or two years out... We can discuss that here. I think its good for newlie sleeved people to read the Vets Forum posts as well, eve if they can't post there yet... its is a little look into the future for sure.

This is the response I sent to lipstick. She pmed me again this morning:
 
I am really sorry for not answering sooner. I had to get all the girls' opinions. We have had this group going for a long time and a lot of very personal stuff has been shared. We took a vote awhile back not to let anyone else join. We felt like since  we are able to share such personal stuff with each other, we didn't want the group to get any bigger.
 
I took a vote with everyone, and they all said they wanted to keep just the members we have. I am sorry. You could start another group.
 
I am curious how you found out about our group? Alex promised me it would not show up with the other groups.
 
It's really not a 5:2 group anymore. We do talk about our eating some, but it's mostly talk of things/problems/issues in our lives.
 
 
Sarah, I am so excited that I get to meet you! I get there on  the evening of 7-20
and I fly out of O'Hare on 8-2 So any day after 7-20 and before 8-2 would be great!

Wendy, from your date, it looks like your not even at a year yet....

yes to sleeve4me
and no to lipstick

Some people responded to this a few pages ago. Seems like most are saying yes to sleeve4me and no to lipstick.

Some of you know me well as I have been around a long time... but for back story I was pretty hopeless about losing weight and especially maintaining it when I began this sleeve journey. I had "failed" with the lapband in an epic way and by the time I revised to the sleeve I was well over 300# (although down from my lifetime recorded high of 332# while banded). I was super morbidly obese and spent a lot of years there. I felt aged beyond my years and besides feeling physically miserable, I was certainly NOT an object of attention from the opposite gender. Hell, i never even had a chubby chaser interested in me.
(I did have a serious relationship, I have never been a loner, but my point is I have always been one to focus on intelligence and personality, not looks or body)
Because of my active lifestyle, I have mostly had slender friends even when I was obese. I never went out for girls night with them, never went dancing, I felt like I didn't belong in those settings. So, after losing a bunch of weight, I had plastics and am now maintaining. I social with lots of people now and feel like i fit in many places, but am still sometimes surprised at my own preconceived notions.
Currently, I am about 5# over my goal and about 25# over my lowest weight - I am 3.5 years post sleeve so this is frankly pretty typical. It can get a little discouraging as I am having a heck of a time re-losing this weight. I am fine at my current size, but i was finer thinner haha... so it is still something I want. You know how your state of mind is when your favorite jeans are too tight.... that is where i am!
Okay, now my NSV Story!
I went out to the racetrack on the 3rd for a big girls day of races and fireworks. I went with 3 very attractive ladies who are all naturally very trim. They range from tiny cute as a pixie (Which also makes her look really young) to that tall blond skinny model look (two of those, one fairly boyish looking the other more curvy - both very very attractive). Anyway, all 4 of us are unloading the cooler, doing stuff getting ready to go in. I was applying sunscreen. this really really really attractive man - probably about 40 (we are all about 50) walks by and looks right at me and smiles and says "need any help with that?". All of us freeze as it processes... he is talking to ME! What? I smiled at him as he walked away (it was only later I thought I should have said "YES") and one of the ladies said "this is going to be a good day".
I don't spend alot of time comparing myself to others, I really don't. But after a lifetime of obesity, super morbid obesity - you never expect to be the one in your group of attractive friends to get the notice.
Looks don't actually matter that much - one of the ironies i have learned in this journey, but it still felt good and my friends were all very happy for me too... That also makes me feel good that they are so pleased with my successes.

Such a big congrats to you Coops! You are such a trooper, so inspirational girl.
You guys look great! Love your gray hair and cut... very cute! I have been growing out my gray, and using a blue tint at this point. Little old lady with a blue rinse! Thats me!

Such a big congrats to you Coops! You are such a trooper, so inspirational girl.
You guys look great! Love your gray hair and cut... very cute! I have been growing out my gray, and using a blue tint at this point. Little old lady with a blue rinse! Thats me!

When I get into the tub and my body is actually under Water and my stomach is not sticking out!

One of my hobbies is making fake meat...take a look at Brianna Grogan... some great high protein recipes: http://veganfeastkitchen.blogspot.com/p/recipe-links.html
http://veganfeastkitchen.blogspot.com/2006/07/buddhas-roast-duck-with-yuba.html
http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=853797 (I mix this in a bread machine, then transfer to a crock pot to finish over night)
These are good, you need an oven... http://www.theppk.com/2012/01/vegan_sausage/
This product is pretty good, http://www2.netrition.com/explore_asian_mung_bean_fettuchini.html they also make a black bean variety.... 25 gms protein!
When i cook, it always makes things work better protein wise, but of course its more work!

Hi Deedee, you have done great!! I hear you want to lose more, but congrats on not gaining. I am a veggie too. I think it is important for you to get in your Protein. That may be the primary reason you have gone into maintenance. The old story, Protein first is great advice. It is not always easy for vegetarians to get in enough protein without getting in carbs too. I have a list of go -tos and sometimes they are my medicine, to keep on track. Do your research, explore recipes, there are protein full pastas, do you eat dairy? I have problems getting in enough protein too, and carbs are my bad friend. Its a struggle, but we can do better. Stop turning up your nose at fake meat and tofu.... find a way to enjoy.

Here is one very popular post that was started by sleve4me.... perhaps you will remember her from this: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/194493-weight-gained-since-having-gastric-sleeve-surgery/
This little group really helps me to just be honest... touch base, feel safe and not alone in this thing. I love you guys and really wish the best for you all. It helps me whether I'm gaining, losing or staying the same....