Bandme1

My husband is a really great guy-so that's not the problem really. I guess I am a very private person and part of me feels like I've reached a point that I need lapband and it's embarassing for me. When we first married I was about 65 pounds thinner-not skinny but I looked pretty good. Now 8 yrs later I am at a point that I need a lapband. I think he would be supportive-but I feel like I want to do it on my own. I am not sure though. Like I said I am a very private person and independent too...this seems like such a personal thing to me.

I was the exact same as you. I was just embarrassed. My husband and I never really talk about weight and I have just slowly ballooned since we got married. I am a very private person and I was planning on not telling him until it got a lot closer to the date. But honestly, I want to be able to come home from doctors appointments and share this with him. It is embarrassing, but you are going to be growing old together. You guys signed up for better or for worse. This is just one of the "worse" parts. I just talked to my husband last night as I am just beginning the process and I am so glad I did. He kind of looked at me funny when I first told him but I explained to him the whole reason of why I want to have it done, how I will be healthier and happier. I even threw in the fact that since I will have more self confidence, it means better times in bed... He seemed to like that. In the end, he told me that he loves me just how I am but if getting the surgery will make me happy then I should do it.

If you explain to him how sensitive of an issue this is for you and tell him how important to you it is that this stays a secret, I'm sure he will understand. You should really consider letting him go on this journey with you. It might bring you closer together if he is able to help you out post-op.

I think when he said if banding worked didn't you think he'd have already had it done, I'd have said, "Well, I can see you definitely need to lose weight. Maybe it's time for you to educate yourself about how the band works. It may be a solution for you." And if you do see him in a year, remind him that he was the naysayer who wasn't going to let you get your referral. Remind him of how many pounds you've lost, and ask if he's bothered to look into banding for his own fat self.

The only directly negative person (speaking to my face, not behind my back) I've met since I started this was a nurse in the hospital the night after my surgery. The IV in my arm was closing up and they were having trouble getting fluids in me. They called in this "expert nurse" from the laboratory to move my IV to a different location. She asked me why I was in the hospital. I told her I'd just had lap band surgery. She went off on me about how it never works and how I should have had hypnosis, like she did, and whatever. I finally asked her to stop talking because I wasn't in the mood to hear it. Funny part is, she was quite obese herself, and she had absolutely no place to be handing me crap like that. I'd love to go back there and see her now, and ask how many hypnosis pounds she's lost, compared to what I've lost. She was pretty inconsiderate.

I'm glad you got your referral. Good luck!

Dave

I SOOOOO should have said that to the doctor. Once I've lost all my weight, I may just schedule an appointment with him just to rub it in his chubby little face! lol!!

I hate when really skinny people talk about WLS like they are judging it and say "Why don't you just diet and exercise, it's not that hard..." Yeah, suck it, beanpole! You have NOOOO idea. I find it even MORE interesting when overweight people have the same reaction. We all have to be there for each other! lol. It's a cruel world out there. I have read so many articles about doctors altering their treatment plans based on their patient being overweight. One doctor was even quoted saying that she sometimes didn't even want to help the overweight patients when they were sick because she didn't think they would even follow her treatment plan because they don't like to take care of themselves. There was this great quote I read that was something along the lines of "Everyone has an addiction to something. Those who are overweight wear their addiction on the outside for all to see". It's SO true... everyone has SOMETHING that they struggle with. Smokers don't have to wear it for all to see...

First of all the doctor is an asshole and the nurse is a bitch! Some doctors think just because they went to med school they know everything and some nurses think just because they went to clinicals they are doctors. And that's no disrespect to the competent, caring, and PROFESSIONAL medical workers. I have never experienced this degree of total lack of respect from a doctor, but I have experienced doctors who didn't listen to my wants, needs, and concerns. It seems like they want to do what's best for you without consulting you or informing you of what's going on. Even though you are young you know what you want and obviously you have done your research. I think people have preconceived notions about WLS and once they are stuck on their belief there is no changing it! It was no reason though for him not to hear you and then totally disrespect you and discourage you from getting the procedure. I guess all the testimonials we hear are all lies huh and the stats at the bottom of my page are totally made up. I can tell you there would be no way in hell I would have lost over 60 pounds in 4 months without the band and anyone who is a non-believer can really kiss my ass. Everyone has different experiences with the band.

I have also chosen to keep this choice to myself and I have not lost any sleep over it. I don't feel bad for not telling my business to everyone who asks how I am losing weight at all. I already have enough pressure on myself to make this thing work, I don't need anyone else watching my eating habits or constantly harassing me about my progress. I commend you for wanting to do something about this rather sooner than later. I first looked into this procedure when I was your age and didn't get it done because my insurance at the time had an exclusion to WLS, so I tried to lose it the old-fashioned way. I went from 320 to 299. Great, right? Well, in the span of almost 3 years balooned up to 348, so believe ME you are making the right decsion. Only fat people know how it truly feels and how hopeless they are (especially if they are like me and have NEVER been normal size, started my first diet when I was 10). To us it is something that gives up hope and a chance to truly change our lives. Why don't flat chested women get grief when they want a boob job? GEEZ!

AMEN!!! Thanks for your agreement. I am pretty firm in my decision to not tell people. I don't think it's any of their business! My mom had gastric bypass and people would constantly ask her "OMG!! How did you lose so much weight?!" and if she actually was honest with them their answer was "Oh..." in a disappointed tone, almost like they were saying "Oh.... you took the easy way". Someone even had the balls to SAY "Oh, so you took the easy way?" EASY?! What part of having surgery, exercising, limiting your food intake, going to many many dr. appointments and vomiting if you eat too much is EASY?!

I've already decided. I am telling my work that I am getting my gallbladder removed (to explain the week+ off work) and any people who want to know how I lost all the weight? I'm going to tell them "portion control and exercise". It's not a lie. I am telling them all they need to know

Oh wow, congrats! That's so exciting to get to move up to mushies. I bet you were getting sick of the liquids, huh?

Okay, well, I had my very FIRST appointment today with my PCP. Actually, he isn’t really MY PCP, I just took the first available appointment they had. I’ve only ever seen my PCP once anyway. So my goal for today was to get a referral to the “gastric bypass seminar” that is required for all patients interested in WLS with Kaiser. So, you know how when you go in for a Dr. appt. they have a nurse that takes your vitals and then asks why you are there? Well, I told her I was there to ask for a referral to the seminar to get the LapBand and she just stared at me with her mouth wide open. She said “Oh, honey, you aren’t big enough for that. You are just wasting your time.” I said, “Actually, my BMI is 43, so I qualify. I’d rather just discuss it with the Doctor.” So the doctor made me sit there and wait for 50 minutes past my appointment time. Thank God for Angry Birds on my iPhone or I would have been bored out of my mind!! So when he came in he asked me why I was there and I told him I just wanted a referral to the seminar. He just flat out said “No. Not even an option.” I asked why and he said “You are far too young.” Well, I spouted all my facts right back at him. “Actually, the required minimum age is 18 and I am 24. My BMI is 43, my fasting glucose was sky high so I am at a high risk for diabetes and my mom had gastric bypass so I have seen how hard it is and I know what it is that I am asking for.” He just stared and said “Don’t you think if this was some magic solution, I would have had it done myself? I have seen countless people get the surgery and not lose weight.” I said “Well, it’s not a magic solution. It’s a tool. You have to utilize that tool. If they didn’t eat right, follow the directions their doctors gave and exercise, then no. They probably didn’t lose their weight.” He said “Fine, I will give you the referral but I think you are being ridiculous and you are too young.” I said “Well I appreciate the referral. Isn’t it better for me to get healthy while I am still young?” He just shook his head and muttered “too young…”. So he printed out the referral and said “So will I see a different person in 6 months?”. I said “Well, I don’t think it all happens that fast, but give it a year and yes, you will see a different me.” He rolled his eyes again and said “Yeah…. Right. We’re done here. You can go.”

So I’m thrilled that I have the referral but between the nurse and the doctor with a stick up his butt... it pretty much solidified my decision to NOT tell ANYONE. Jeeez… they are supposed to be medical professionals?

I feel like I’m finally jumping on the LapBand train and I am hoping it takes me good places.

Anyone else have experiences with rude doctors/nurses that just don't get it? I expect rude comments from people (which is why I'm not telling people) but not from medial "professionals". Sheesh...