silry

i'm here in mexico!!!!!! i have my surgery time and ate my last meal. now. we sit and wait. LOL. this time tomorrow, i will be banded! eep!

i leave tomorrow first thing in the AM. i am really nervous and scared! i know it sounds really over dramatic, but i keep thinking things like "should i leave a list of my passwords just in case. should i have updated my will?" i know it's stupid. i'm just so nervous! and i'm so going to miss my doggie and hubby so much. :cry

:D :) :eek: :eek: :eek: it hit me today when i started doing laundry for my trip and packing that i am LEAVING IN 2 DAYS. :faint:

but then you'd have to know how much you should weigh to determine how much your excess weight is and thus how much to lose, right? so the doc would be the one that comes up with that number? i wonder what they base it on...

when i was first coming up with my goal, i googled height/weight and for my height (5'1) the chart i found said i should weigh between 105-115. so i choose 115 as my end goal since it was on the higher end. my mom is 4'11 and weighs 98 (naturally) and she has a bigger frame then i do. so my goal didn't seem too unrealistic to me... but... the very few people i have told have all said in a concerned tone of voice that 115 is not realistic and i would be scary skinny at 115. so now i have doubts and i'm just not sure. i want a goal to work towards but i don't want to set myself up for disappointment.:phanvan how did you guys decide what to make your goal? i am really interested in how you came up with yours!!! did you research the height/weight thing? did you have a doctor advise you? did you just pick a number out of the air and deem it your magic number? thanks! :hug:

i'm getting banded in what, 5 days? i told my hubby (duh. he paid for it. LOL.) my mom, my dear friend (who is going with me since hub can't take the time off from work), my best friends and one lady from work. i did not tell my boss (i am really lucky in that i go 'hey, i'll be out of town a week' and he goes 'okay' - no questions asked.) i will not be telling anyone else. not my stepdad, roommate, casual friends. it is MY business. my struggle has been private, and this will be kept private. plus, i don't want to be constantly monitored by everyone... you know... everyone going "how much have you lost now?" every few days. and yeah, i guess part of me fears being judged for "cheating". i know and my family knows i am NOT cheating, but i hate the idea of having to defend myself. i am SO NERVOUS. i wasn't until yesteday. :faint:

are you supposed to be on clear liquids? i know there are some protein powders that dissolve clear - that could really help you! i feel for you! *hug*

my surgery is one week and one day from today. i get butterflies in my tummy if i think about it too hard. i just try to go about my day almost in denial. i pretend it's not going to happen for a few weeks or months so i don't get myself all worked up. i try to stop myself when i think of stuff like "is my will updated?" :faint: i'm bringing a female friend with since my hubby can't get the time off... i'm scared to leave him and i'm scared to go through this without his hugs, kisses and comfort. i think we just have to take it one day at a time. distract, distract, distract! my house has never been cleaner! mostly though, when the scared-ness (woot! new word) starts seeping through, i think how awesome it will be to start my new life!!!

*grumbles* i am NOT doing a very good job! BUT i think i figured out how to deal with the crushing STARVATION during the day... instead of having my one meal for dinner, i have it for lunch. then i have my second shake of the day for dinner. i did it today and it worked well. my hubby comes home kind of late, so we end up eating at 7-730pm which is far too late as it is. i'm actually up 2lbs!!! :embarassed: eating that late cannot be helping. :der: :mad: so. breakfast: 8oz vanilla soy milk, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder, 6oz of coffee blended together lunch: veggie burger with one slice of 2% cheese, light mayo, ketsup and mustard, pickles and lettuce on a whole wheat bun, beef jerky (yes, again) dinner: 8oz chocolate soy milk, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder

*grumbles* i am NOT doing a very good job! :mad: BUT i think i figured out how to deal with the crushing STARVATION during the day... instead of having my one meal for dinner, i have it for lunch. then i have my second shake of the day for dinner. i did it today and it worked well. my hubby comes home kind of late, so we end up eating at 7-730pm which is far too late as it is. i'm actually up 2lbs!!! :embarassed: eating that late cannot be helping. :mad: :mad: :mad: so. breakfast: 8oz vanilla soy milk, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder, 6oz of coffee blended together lunch: veggie burger with one slice of 2% cheese, light mayo, ketsup and mustard, pickles and lettuce on a whole wheat bun, beef jerky (yes, again) dinner: 8oz chocolate soy milk, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder

i'm getting banded on the 21st. i am currently on the preop diet, which just might KILL ME. :faint: but i'm super excited! and totally single minded... every sentence begins with "when i'm banded..." LOL

oh good!!! i know where you are coming from... before we put down the deposit, i went 'nope, not gonna do it'... but a few days later i realized that deep down, i knew i tried as hard as i could and if i didn't do something soon... i'd be dead, inside or out. so, *hug* and i'll see you in mx!!!

breakfast: chocolate soy milk, vanilla protein powder lunch: chocolate soy milk, berry protein powder snack: beef jerky (14g protein) i don't know how to do this without a snack. i am just too hungry!! i'm hoping as i adjust to the liquids, it gets easier. and i hope that happens SOON. 348pm: i knew if i sat on my butt for one second longer, i would eat myself out of house and home. so i got up and cleaned the house. hubby is going to be SO happy when he gets home! he's the cleaner, not i. LOL. i still need to sweep/mop, but that is too hard to do with mr. underfoot underfoot. :rolleyes (quincy - my dog. he is always 1 step behind me... if i change my speed even a little bit, he crashes right into me.) anyhow, so i was reading another person's lapband journal and they said they did 1 protein shake for breakfast, 1 lean cuisine for lunch and 1 for dinner. we went to the same doctor... i'm wondering if they gave her a different diet then i? or maybe she read the instructions wrong. i WISH i didn't have to do 2 shakes. that's HARD. i've already had 3pts of water and counting. this hunger headache is driving me batty too. blah blah blah. whine whine whine. :tired okay, done babbling. i'm going to go polish my wood furniture. LOL. dinner: 3 pieces of french bread with butter (:embarassed: ), 2/3 cup of beef pot roast stew (3grams fat 150 calories). 2 traderades (i need to hide them from myself... can't... stop... drinking...traderades...) here's to hoping tomorrow is better... i have a meeting at my bosses restaurant and there is alway some delicious dessert the pastry chef gives us. :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed:

breakfast: chocolate soy milk, vanilla protein powder lunch: chocolate soy milk, berry protein powder snack: beef jerky (14g protein) i don't know how to do this without a snack. i am just too hungry!! i'm hoping as i adjust to the liquids, it gets easier. and i hope that happens SOON. 348pm: i knew if i sat on my butt for one second longer, i would eat myself out of house and home. so i got up and cleaned the house. hubby is going to be SO happy when he gets home! he's the cleaner, not i. LOL. i still need to sweep/mop, but that is too hard to do with mr. underfoot underfoot. :rolleyes (quincy - my dog. he is always 1 step behind me... if i change my speed even a little bit, he crashes right into me.) anyhow, so i was reading another person's lapband journal and they said they did 1 protein shake for breakfast, 1 lean cuisine for lunch and 1 for dinner. we went to the same doctor... i'm wondering if they gave her a different diet then i? or maybe she read the instructions wrong. i WISH i didn't have to do 2 shakes. that's HARD. i've already had 3pts of water and counting. this hunger headache is driving me batty too. blah blah blah. whine whine whine. :tired okay, done babbling. i'm going to go polish my wood furniture. LOL. dinner: 3 pieces of french bread with butter (:embarassed: ), 2/3 cup of beef pot roast stew (3grams fat 150 calories). 2 traderades (i need to hide them from myself... can't... stop... drinking...traderades...) here's to hoping tomorrow is better... i have a meeting at my bosses restaurant and there is alway some delicious dessert the pastry chef gives us. :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed:

breakfast: chocolate mint protein powder mixed with chocolate soy milk lunch: unflavored protein powder mixed with vanilla soy milk and sugar free hot chocolate mix was STARVING by 5pm so i caved and ate crackers. :cry dinner: 2oz of chicken breast, 1/2 cup of corn and 3/4 cup of mashed potatoes. drink: 2 traderades. felt a little dehydrated... typically do not drink like that. this is going to be ROUGH. i have a massive headache. :faint: (side note: start weight 209. damnit)

breakfast: chocolate mint protein powder mixed with chocolate soy milk lunch: unflavored protein powder mixed with vanilla soy milk and sugar free hot chocolate mix was STARVING by 5pm so i caved and ate crackers. :cry dinner: 2oz of chicken breast, 1/2 cup of corn and 3/4 cup of mashed potatoes. drink: 2 traderades. felt a little dehydrated... typically do not drink like that. this is going to be ROUGH. i have a massive headache. :faint: (side note: start weight 209. damnit)

i nickname everything and everyone to death. my dog's name is quincy. i call him fuzzhead, fuzzbutt, fuzzface, q-face, naughtydoggie, sillyface, handsomehandsome, mister handsome, fuzz nugget, nugget, quince, fur baby, silly boy, and there is a noise i make that sounds something like 'oobah' that he responds to as well. LOL. i won't even get started on what i call my husband. HA!

i started my preop diet today! well, sort of. last night hubby took me out for my last big hurrah and, well, i'm hung over. LOL. the idea of food OR a shake... :mad: that's the bad news. good news is I'M SO CLOSE TO MY DATE!!!

i ordered my powder from unjury. i figured even if i didn't like it, i needed it and i would live. imagine my surprise to discover i LOVE IT? i'm not even starting my pre-op diet until saturday but i have a scoop of the vanilla with my coffee in the AM and it actually keeps me FULL until lunch. if i didn't already have my surgery deposit paid for, i might actually have given just the unjury a go!!! :heh: anyhow, i got vanilla, chicken broth and unflavored. i got a sample of chocolate, but it was eh. oh, and listen to their directions on the temp thing. over 130 = clumpy badness. :rolleyes

LOL! now i don't know what i am more freaked about - being nekkie or having kids!!! :faint:

i start my preop diet on the 10th. i've started to mentally pack. i am surprised that i'm not freaking out more... i keep going "OMIGOD! I'M GETTING BANDED IN 2 WEEKS... why am i not freaking out?!" LOL. does anyone have any suggestions of things to bring with me? i'm going to MX so i will be away from home for a few days. heating pad, loose clothes... anything else?! i'm so excited! *wiggles* :high5:

i'm back from dinner tonight and i have a new one... when you order something and it's wrong so you point it out to the server and they go try to argue with you. listen lady, i've hated onions and tomatoes MY WHOLE LIFE. there is no way that i would order them now. argh! and i am getting really sick and tired of anyone in my neighborhood that owes a cat. they let them run around outside and apparently my backyard is cat haven so they all gather and poop in our yard. if i have to clean one more cat turd out of my yard, i'm gathering all the cats up and mailing them to greenland. it's giving my dog a complex about pooing, to add insult to injury. and finally, people who ask me when i am "due". i'm not pregnant, i'm fat. :heh:

that is SUCH a relief to hear! ever since i got my date set in stone, i've been reluctant to read posts on here in fear of reading something that scares me. i'm such a wuss!!! what i'm most scared of is throwing up after the surgery - i've only been knocked out 2x and both times i got anathethia (sp?) poisoning. anyhow, YEY i'm so excited for you!!! good luck!!!

eeeeks!!! i don't like reading about difficult or painful banding experiences!!! i'm about 2 weeks out! i hope everyone feels better really soon and the pain turns into a bad dream!!!

did anyone else (or is anyone else) having crazy weird pre-op dreams?! last night i dreamt i was in the hospital (which looked an awful lot like a 7-11/cheap motel combo) laying in a huge bathtub filled with bubbles while my nurse was busy making a bunch of big gulps. i drank part of one and she yelled at me that my surgery was going to be postponed if i continued to drink soda. so i sat in the bubble bath and nervously waited for the other nurse to come draw my blood. i panicked that i forgot my laptop and was scared that i couldn't find my friend to help me go through the surgery. the water got cold and then i woke up. i also had a dream that i was already banded and was on a roller coaster. we went over a HUGE hill (hill?) and then went down a dip super fast and i threw up my band! never mind that it's on the OUTSIDE on my tummy. i woke up freaked out a bit. LOL. i have WEEKS to go and i'm already having crazy dreams every night. can't wait to see what my mind produces as the date gets closer!!! :heh: