M2G

Once again Irene, powerful words!!! You said it so well. I hope this friend truly means it when she says losing the friendship is not worth her opinions of what you are doing in your life. This is a time for YOU to put YOURSELF first, and everything else will have to get figured out later. Best of luck to you!

Just wanted to add... I love what Mini-Me said about this doesn't have to be a final decision...you could try maintenance and then see how it feels to not always be trying to LOSE more and see how it feels. Once you aren't feeling like you have to be always chasing that number, you may find that your focus changes and you are indeed happy where you are. If a few months go by and you aren't feeling that self-love then maybe you can climb back on the losing wagon and see where you land. The one thing I know is true and that I love about the fact that we had surgery is that we ALWAYS get to keep our tool. We never lose our tool, and it is up to us how and when we want to use it. I LOVE THAT!

Sending you a PM right now. HUGS!

Well, I waffled back and forth but in the end decided to keep the gag order in place. His friends all walked in and started saying OMG, look how skinny you are (to him), etc. and asking HOW he did it, etc. He played according to MY rules (feeling badly about this all now) and said, high Protein, low-carb, lots of exercise and Water. Which is all true. But I do feel bad that I did not allow him to mention his surgery. Then about halfway through the evening, a couple of them start saying (to me) wow, you are looking smaller too, your butt is tiny and your face is so skinny, you guys must be doing this together, etc. And I said yes, we were all about portion control and exercise (again ALL true!) So what's done is done. I really did NOT want to sit around ALL evening and talk about our surgeries. I KNOW that would have happened if we had mentioned it. Next time we are all together (mid-Aug.) if he still feels like sharing then I won't stand in his way. I tossed and turned all night feeling guilty about the gag order. :confused_smile:

You will make a beautiful bride, your smile says it all!!! And thank goodness they took the other dress back, you are a lucky lady!

Thanks ladies. I think he feels like a fraud saying that we are doing 'lifestyle' changes but we are. I could testify under oath that I am watching calories, carbs, fat, drinking tons of Water and exercising...and it would all be TRUE! Ugh! <br><br>But I get what you are saying, that he can blab all he wants about surgery and I don't have to admit that I had it as well. Although I'm sure anyone who can add 2+2 could figure this "mystery" out as well. Bah.

Good to "see" you around! I hope things are looking up for you!

So my husband and I are both sleeved. I'm 8 months post-op and he is almost 4. I have chosen to only tell a very limited few people about my surgery, as I feel that it is my private business medically what I do with my body. I wouldn't expect people who have had breast/prostrate/lung/etc. cancer to walk around advertising all of their medical information and I feel like my VSG is the same. The problem is that obesity is hard to hide and people tend to question you when you are visibily losing weight. My husband feels a bit differently, he has no problem telling someone he had surgery. He has already opened his big mouth to two male friends that I am good friends with their wives. So even though he was talking about HIMSELF having surgery, I'm sure they are looking at me and putting the puzzle together. I didn't want to share with these women about MY surgery. But he sort of blew it. And I called him on it and was frustrated. Now this Fri. we are having a group of friends over for dinner and they are mostly his close friends and their wives. So we sat and had the conversation about what to tell. He was like "what am I allowed to say" and I feel bad putting a gag order on him just because I feel it is private. The funny thing is HE is usually super-private about everything so I'm baffled at why he wants to share his personal medical info. Ugh. What do you think? Do I just let him babble on about what he feels like he wants to share and just not say anything about myself? I'm torn on this one and just looking for opinions. Thanks!

You are rocking that sleeve and rocking that bikini...WOW! Congrats on all your success, and you are right, we are blessed to have the chance to have a 'do over' (that is what my sleeved hubby calls it!)

Awwww, congrats Tiff! I am SO happy for you. I just *knew* you were having a girl. What a perfect blessing! I only have girls so nothing to compare it to, but I LOVE being a mom of girls!

WOW! Congratulations! You don't even look like the same person. I can't believe you still have 50 more lbs to lose...keep on working that sleeve and I'm sure you'll be there in no time at all!

Wow, you look great! So much smaller!!! Can I ask how the gastric balloon worked and what you think of it compared to the sleeve? I am just curious as I saw that some surgeons are doing balloons on a trial basis. I see that you lost weight with the balloon but I'm just curious as to how it works and your thoughts on it.

:jaw: WOW, you look amazing! Congratulations on losing the weight AND maintaining it...I see you went even beyond your goal, that rocks! Best of luck to you in the quest for motherhood, I hope it will happen soon for you!

:party: WOWIE!!!! That is awesome Irene....you look FANTASTIC!!! Way to go...SIZE 6!!! :bananajump: :bananajump: :bananajump: :bananajump: :bananajump:

I had a JP drain, and it defitiely did it's job of clearing excess Fluid. I had mine in for 6 days post-op and it was annoying, uncomfortable and to be honest a little gross. My surgery and recovery went perfect and I wasn't in much pain. SO since I had an easy time of it, if you were to ask me what the worst part of surgery was I probably WOULD say the drain. I was so happy when I went back and had it removed. My hubby had the same sugery, same surgeon and yep, a JP drain and he had his in for 10 days and it didn't seem to bother him much. lol. Go figure. It certainly is worth enduring a little bit of pain to achieve the results you want. Oh and some drs. only use them while you are in the hospital and you don't have to go home with one. Just ask your dr. what they use and for how long.

What kind of dr. asks to meet you at Starbucks and will buy you lunch? Glad he was caught before that lady got on the OR table. I hope she gets her money back.

<p>Double post...can't delete but I can edit it. <img class="bbc_emoticon" alt="" src="http://cdn.verticalsleevetalk.com/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif"> </p>

Well, I'm not a Man but I think you are right that there is something to that machismo...putting up a wall and if a block falls off that wall then there is a weak link. Women do share and communicate more easily. I can pretty much guarantee that my husband would not have had the sleeve if it wasn't for me. Not that I forced the issue. I brought it up once I had made up my mind to have surgery, I said "let's do this together"....no, was his response. I support you 100% and know that you will do great with this, but no thanks for me. Well, our insurance had a 6 month wait time and during that time as I started jumping through the hoops, he had a change of heart and he decided yes, he wanted this too. It just took him a while to sort it out in his own head I think. So I guess maybe your only recourse is living by example? When I called my brother to tell him about surgery we had a very open and frank discussion about obesity in general (he is about 300lbs and only 5'9") and it was the first time we had discussed obesity in such an honest way. His health is being compromised by the obesity too, but he refused to do anything about it. He had high-blood pressure and also was pre-diabetic but refused to do anything about it. A lesson from the dentist (who refused to perform anything on him because his BP was so high) and some prodding from our dad and he finally went to the dr. and got some meds for both issues. I think he is doing better now but we don't talk/see each other very often. Unfortunately. I am sorry that your brother is being so stubborn. I hope that he decides to do something soon but in the meantime keep talking to him and keep showing him the way.

Well I don't know about the urine sample thing...that seems rather odd. I would be asking a whole lot of questions on that one! But for the EGK, for my pre-op, they just leaned me back in a chair and the gal had me lift my shirt and she stuck all the little stickies with wires all over my chest/abdomen and the little machine took it's readings. I've had 3 EKG's in my life and they were all like that. So I don't think you are going to get much privacy there. Except your bra.

Well, I just have to say that while it's nice sometimes that our husbands (or mothers, aunts, brothers, fathers, cousins, etc.) would like to "chime" in on what they THINK you should weigh, honestly it is really up to you. Yes, our surgeon's can give us guidelines and there is the ever-important BMI chart and for us women there is the time of the month, Water weight gain, etc. Basically there is a LOT to think about when figuring out what you should weigh. But honestly it all comes down to you. What you are comfortable with, etc. I personally would hate to lose so much and then not be able to maintain that weight. I didn't have surgery to get to a number on the scale and then spend the rest of my life chasing that number again. So for me, I've picked something that I *hope* I will be able to maintain for life. And it puts me just barely inside the normal BMI category. Anything after that is gravy. And I agree with Tiff...just because you weigh the same as someone else doesn't mean that you wear the same size or even look like you have similar bodies, etc. Do what feels best for YOU!!!

Oooh, that is good. I can totally see how their comments could be construed as hurtful. I am guessing these are good friends of yours so yes, it is time to have a little chat with them. You could add something about the fact that you can find something to eat any place any where and once in a while you are good letting someone else choose the place. What I find funny is that when people KNOW I've had surgery THEY tend to eat less in front of me.

What an awesome way to Celebrate losing those lbs!!! How FUN! And I've said this before and I'll be a broken record saying it again, I didn't feel sick before (I was healthy my only 'ding' on my health was that I was MO, I exercised regularly, low BP, low Cholesterol, etc.) but I simply feel AMAZING now after losing 70+lbs...I just can't imagine carrying around 70 extra pounds...(like I imagine picking up a 70lb bag of rice and having to carry it with me wherever I go) the thought boggles my mind.

WOW! Congrats on your loss...you are doing awesome! Yes, SMILE next time!

Looking great!!! I love clearance too! And saying goodbye to PLUS SIZES FOREVER is the most awesome feeling in the world! If I could just figure out how to get off of Lane Bryant's mailing list...now that would be awesome too...lol.

WOW, you look wonderful! Congrats! BTW, you and my hubby were sleeved on the same day (it also happens to be his birthday) but I don't think he has lost quite as much, close but not as much as you (49 since surgery?)That is saying a lot since men tend to drop the weight so dang fast! So kudos!!