mamato2js

I ended up in the E.R. last night with horrible horrible burning knifing pain at the top of my stomach/in between the bottom of my ribs. For several days I had started to notice a burning sensation down there. I also started noticing I was "grazing" in an attempt to keep the burning under control. I knew it was wrong, but I just seemed hungry all the time, and I thought, "well, its not so bad, I'm eating small amounts." I started sleeping propped up at night and noticed that what once would fill me up, wasn't doing it for me any more, that I wanted more food to feel "full." I have tried so hard to do everything I'm supposed to....especially the chewing chewing chewing. I got a clog about 4 weeks in and it was sooo painful that It was my "lesson learned." I had the band put in on April 20th and during my first check up, the nurse only put .7cc's in because she said I was doing so well, she didn't see a need for a fill but would give me a little if it helped my "psychologically." Now, every day I have burning and when I do eat (I'm back to soft foods) I feel like something is stuck in my throat and I burp and burp and burp and burp. I also get this weird feeling of bubbles moving all around in there. This is all new.... maybe 2 weeks?? I CAN eat soft foods and drink liquids without throwing up and it temporarily stops the burning...... I only feel nauseated when I have an empty stomach and the burning is too much for me. Yesterday, when I went to the ER the pain was so bad that I couldn't sip Water w/out it making my stomach just light up w/ pain. I was bent over in pain and shaking. I was VERY nervous because the ER doctor knew pretty much NOTHING about the band and I had my surgery done 2 hours south of where I live. They ran a CT scan and said there was no blockage, but I'm not joking....no one there seemed to know anything about what to look for on the scan other than that. So now I have to wait until Wednesday to hear what the doc has to say. Are there other tests? Will a barium swallow show it? I'm so so so so scared. I keep seeing that surgery is required to fix it and I could possibly lose my band??!!! I read that over eating could cause the slippage but I've been so good. I'm beating myself up trying to recall a time when I may have eaten too much and caused this. A slippage doesn't just "happen" right? I had to have done something? I JUST started back to CORE workouts too...about 2 weeks ago. I wonder if that caused it?! For the first time in YEARS I feel hopeful, I feel good, I feel lighter, and healthier...... and now THIS! My family and I all went through this and endured so much.... to have it be all for nothing.... I'm just so upset! Has anyone been able to get the bad fixed and leave it in? OMG I wonder if insurance will pay!!!??? Have I mentioned that I'm SCARED? Can anyone offer any advice/suggestions??? thank you so much

My surgery was April 20th (wow, 4 weeks tomorrow). I understand being tired the first 2 weeks....but now that I'm eating food...well, the "soft food" stage.... I didn't expect to still feel so tired. Has anyone experienced exhaustion? I sleep w/ my cpap mask on like I'm supposed to. I take iron and get my protein in. I exercise ( I even backed off on how much thinking my body couldn't handle it). I don't understand why even when I get a full 6 hours of undisturbed sleep... after I drop the kids off I come home and sleep for another 3 to 4 hours! Anyone else feel tired ALL the time????

thank you all so much for you input and encouraging words. I don't know why but its been a rough few days. I think ....no... I know I'm sad because the rapid weight loss has come to a screeching halt all of the sudden. I'm walking between 2 and 5 miles a day but that saps up most of my energy so I struggle the rest of the day just to make it w/ 2 young kids, etc.... I think exhaustion and feelings of depression kind of spark that NEED for sugar. I know there's a certain hormone or chemical that is produced in the brain when we eat sugar that gives us that temporary "feel good" kind of feeling and so we seek it when we're tired, sad, stressed..... basically what I am every day! ha ha I just wish I could turn it OFF. I've GOT to get my energy back and out of the house so I'm not staring at the fridge and cabinets thinking about food! When I go go go I dont' think about it at all...in fact I have to REMEMBER to eat. grrrrrr I just need to tell the family (kids) sorry... all treats must remain OUT of the house for a while until mommy gets stronger.

I'm in the "mushies" phase and ate a mini cupcake :-( They were for the kids and I just HAD to have one! ugh... now I feel awful. The guilt. I've been doing so good! Why won't the sweet tooth go away!? Some say you lose interest in sweets...... I don't know if I ever will. Its going to be such a challenge!!! Any suggestions on how to get rid of this desire for sweets???

you're not alone. I was banded the same day! I used to love my protein shakes...part of my daily diet for some time now. I can barely stand the way they taste, even their texture seems different. I HATE chicken broth too. I'm totally dumbfounded by it all. Let me know how things are going for you. How are you doing today? I took a few bites of some no no's..... shame on me.

I noticed today that its not so hard. I feel like I have less energy but that could be because I haven't been sleeping well...anxiety I think. What I realized through this is that I have a LOT more will power than I would have EVER given myself credit for. Its a big reassurance going into this that I can do this. It just took getting scared is all! I don't feel so guilty about messing up the 2 week "diet" since I know that the feelings I had are quite normal (the panic, etc...). Not being angry helps. But i can tell you this.... by the end of the liquid phase I will probably never touch sugar free Jello, butternut squash soup, or Naked brand juices again. LOL

I just heard about that from a friend of a friend.... that after surgery she wanted NOTHING to do with food. Right now I'm on day 2 of liquid fasting but its not just clear... I can have my shakes and soup with no "chunks" etc... I only have to be on clear for 3 days post op and then liquids for 10 more days, then its on to "mush" as I call it. I haven't cheated yet...but I have to tell you... I DO get hunger pains and it is hard to sleep at night w/ my tummy grumbling. How do you sleep at night?

OMG I did the same thing! When I got the date I was thrilled. It wasn't until the pre-op (failed) diet that I started thinking... ah man! Seriously? no chocolate at Easter! So not fair!" LOL So that's one of the reasons why I did so poorly those 2 weeks. I was...uh... getting in my easter candy! ha ha. Sad, but true. LOL. I have been fasting on liquids for 2 straight days. I have done really good. I think is the whole "shrink your liver" thing that scares me into behaving. I have to say I AM hungry rather quickly after a shake or some Soup. I've been getting dizzy headaches and my tummy growls all night long...well, it did last night anyhow... I'm assuming the same thing will happen tonight. My energy levels are dropping. I hope that passes with time. I am the kind of person that wants to make sure EVERYTHING is in order before I go somewhere and I work and work and work to make sure all is right in the house, etc... but this time I'm having to come to the realization that I may have to leave some stuff incomplete. It kills me. But I'm TIRED. I just keep telling myself... its not going to last its not going to last its NOT going to last. I'm down 20lbs from my highest in december of 260. I was shocked to see the scale say 240 today. It was motivating for me to keep going. well, that and not wanting to, you know, have problems on the operating table... :-) For Easter I planned ahead and got all of the basket stuff taken care of. I put coins in most of the eggs and just a little candy and have asked my husband to do it cuz oh what I would give for a piece of flippin' chocolate right now!!!! Or just ONE jelly bean..lol. I've never been big on giving giant easter baskets because my kids are very picky when it comes to sweets because thank God I've always limited it with them....so...they really don't like much of it. Guess who always ends up eating the candy?? Yep.. ME. This year, their piggy banks will get fat and nothing else! LOL We head down to the hotel tomorrow night. I have to check in at the hospital at 6:30 am...surgery scheduled for 9am. I'm to the point where I'm like...lets get this over with so I can get on to healing and get back to eating teeny tiny bites of food! At least it will be something!!! :-) hang in there renee

I got teary eyed reading that! Thank you. So far I haven't cheated aside from the unconscious toss of Cereal in my mouth this a.m. when I was pouring my daughter her bowl of cereal. I grabbed a few pieces popped them in and mid chew went... oops... I stood there w/ this chewed cereal in my mouth thinking...what do I do? spit it out? LOL. I just shrugged and swallowed it. But man it made me really aware of how EASY it is to just absent mindedly eat! One of my problems being a mom...always popping just a little bit of their food in my mouth! Last night I dreamt of food all night (no joke) and this morning I washed my hair w/ this new shampoo I got for brunettes (just had my hair colored back to my natural color from blonde) and so help me god... it is scented like chocolate!!!! LOL LOL. Not to mention I'm close to that time of the month and it is when I'm the most ravenous and vulnerable. I jokingly told my friend that this was the absolute WORST date my surgeon could have assigned me. During a holiday focused around candy candy candy and right at my cycle. Could he be more cruel!??? LOL Oh well... time to find out what I'm really made of. I will keep you informed!!! :-) trust me... IF I can do this... YOU can do this!!! We're in this together!!!! renee

My mother had her first knee replacement in her late forties!! Then she had her hip replaced in her early 50's, a couple years later... her other knee. She's 57 and next month will have her other hip replaced. She's battled w/ being overweight after having my brother at 30. Her mom had major joint problems as well. I dont' want that life!!!! My dad resents her because he wanted to travel after retirement but she can't do the things he wants to do. I don't want THAT life either. :-( That's why I'm having this surgery. I was so active pre weight gain. I can still run/jog (2 miles in 28 minutes is what I'm up to and can walk an hour). I can no longer do incline training because the pain in my knee is awful. Even driving hurts. I'm glad to hear you're doing better since surgery. i can't wait until I can post that I did my 10 mile hike that I did when I first met my husband! :-)

thank you! I finally did get some sleep...just took some deep breathing, prayers, and focusing on the "bigger picture." Sadly...and Kind of funny... I dreamed of food all night long. I mean... it was nutz! Junk food, good food, steaks, you name it... all went through my dreams. LOL...

wow. just....wow. I just checked my binder.... the one the surgeons office gave me w/ all the info. It just says any thing that goes "thru a straw"...no chunky soup, etc.. I'm going to do my best. I can do this. wow, what if they get in there and my liver doesn't "look good?" Well, I have a couple calls to make Monday a.m. for sure. lol. thanks again for your advice and comforting words. I'm going to try and go to sleep. I can't wait until the day comes when I don't have to struggle with the stupid cpap mask. bless you ...and have a good night :-)

Thank you so much! I know this is going to sound stupid.... but can I have my Protein Drinks? They are not clear though. There are no real guidelines listed ...it just says...liquids only... Of course I'm going to measure and keep the calories down. I don't drink soda, etc.... I was thinking things like my protein drinks, broth, tea, and thins like the Naked brand juices...carrot, green machine, etc.... Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm so scared I can't sleep. and I NEED to sleep.... that's another eating trigger...sleep deprivation.

so sorry its long.... I'm so scared and confused... Well, it goes something like this... day 1- mess up... I tell myself... I'll do better tomorrow....day 2- start well, mess up, I'll do better tomorrow.... fast forward to the end and 3 out of 14 days I stayed under 1350 calories. I never stayed under 1200 like I was told to. Holy cow if I had the ability why would I need surgery?!!!! There were a few days when I panicked and ate a lot... a lot... thinking... I'll never be able to do this again!!! Wow, I thought I was so so so ready! I've been in counseling for my eating disorder for years. I've told myself... I AM READY! But, If I can't make it through the pre-op diet, am I?! Tomorrow my fasting starts...liquids only. Wednesday a.m. is my surgery. I'm wondering if I shouldn't go through with it. Most of my friends say... don't worry, you will do fine because you KNOW you can't mess up after its done. I made the mistake of reading postings where people had written that they had no pre-op diet. That was all I needed to tell myself... if they didn't...then why should I? I had other friends tell me... omg! go out there and eat whatever you want! its your last chance!! Again, all I needed...someone gave me permission to cheat...so I did. If I can't make it on this liquid fast for the next 3 days... I'm postponing the surgery. Obviously its some sort of sabotage. Am I just scared? IS there some part of me that I haven't acknowledged that doesn't want this? I was so sure, so convinced I was ready! Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I so scared when all I want is to be healthy! For goodness sakes I work out like crazy and am even in TWO nutrition classes. Why can't I keep the dang food out of my mouth!!!??? My counselor says I'm addicted to food... that it is my comfort. I lead a very stressful, often lonely, life. Food has always been my friend. I have to say goodbye and yet, handle it EVERY day of my life and not take part in it (at least most of the stuff I like anyhow and very little of every thing else). At least alcoholics and drug addicts can stay away from it, keep it out of the house, not go to clubs, etc. I can't escape food. My husband, I swear he's been sabotaging me as well....bringing home all my favorite things....allowing me to cheat.... Maybe he doesn't want me to lose weight? I'm terrified...absolutely terrified. I'm very angry at myself for failing repeatedly over the years...that I couldn't do it on my own. OMG I think I'm resenting this surgery! I'm pissed at myself. Angry for failing, angry for being weak, angry for being angry. this sucks. Last week a young woman died at our local hospital. The doctor that told me (my ortho...btw I now need knee surgery and have arthritis in my upper spine... grrrr)...that that woman had had the Lap band surgery a few weeks prior to her death. That scared the crap out of me. I have children to take care of!!!!! I can't leave them! Is this selfish to take that risk? What the heck am I doing?