Paul11011

I am currently in the process of getting a divorce. My WLS was over 4 years ago. The WLS did contribute to the divorce. It magnified the differences that were already there. Additionally I did change, physically, psychologically, emotionally, in fact in almost all ways. I do feel that in order to be a success with the WLS, one must focus on themselves, they have to commit to doing what is best for them. That is likely to come across as selfish to others, maybe it is. Its what I did and it has help me discover who I really am.

Simply put, we grew in two different paths over the last 4 years. We have some similarities yet, but the majority of the last two years we were living separate lives, I would do my things and she would do hers. It got to a point where I wanted someone to doing my things with me, not out of compromise rather to be doing them because they wanted to also. These and similar issue became worse over the last four years, but they had existed previously too. Again the WLS just caused them to come more to the forefront.

Hi Paul!! Hope you are doing well!!! I'm finaly below goal and trying to maintain and not lose any more. What kinds of things are you doing???

Hi Carol! Great to hear from you. Congratulations on getting to goal, that is awesome! I am just holding tight waiting for this ridiculous winter to end, staying as active as I can between the gym and home weight room. I just pasted 3 years post op at the beginning of the month. Labs are great and I've maintained a total lost of 306lbs with a maintenance range of between 185 and 190 for almost 2 years now. When I started this process at nearly 500lbs I would not have believed for a second I would have ever gotten to the weight I am now. I am fully convinced this process has given me a new lease on life.

Continued success on your journey!

If any of the Grand Health Partner patients are Facebook users and are interested, we have a closed facebook page consisting of GHP patients with various surgeries and varing periods of time post op. Check us out at https://www.facebook.com/groups/ghpsupport/

It's not a link folks, it's a spread sheet. You can download it and look at it.

Well it happened again, I was informed that "lecturing" was not support. It had been awhile since I posted this and rereading all of your replies reaffirms that sometimes people need to hear what they don't want to be told. Thanks gain Y'all.

I am so sorry to hear about the complications of your friend which you described in your original post. I'm even more sorry that you have made the initial decision to stop telling your story. I understand your feeling of guilt and how you feel you contributed to the pain your friend is experiencing. However, it's not your fault. You gave her your testimony of your experience and the rest of the events were her responsibility (more accurately as it sounds, the lack of responsibility by her surgery center). I hope you find peace and continue in your successful transformation.

Any Michigan Sleevers getting sleeved in November? I'm set to be sleeved Nov 21st at St. Mary's in Grand Rapids by Dr. Kemmeter. Any other GHP patients that can relate the 2 wk diet? I know so many people are on a 2 wk liquid only diet and I know GHP doesn't do that so I wanted to get some tips from people who might be able to relate! I am on day 3 of mine and feel like I have been starving 24/7 but have only dropped a couple of pounds. Am I going to lose enough for surgery? Do they make you lose a certain amount? I know on the paperwork I received it says if I "maintain or gain weight" by surgery day that the surgery will be cancelled...

I had a sleeve with Dr. Baker at GHP Jan 10, 2011. Just stick with the 2 week diet and you'll be fine. The important part is to show that you can stick to a meal plan. You will lose weight but it's secondary to being able to show that you can still stick with the program. GHP is outstanding, can't say enough great things about them. Best of luck to you.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop watching, even though I'm getting dizzy!

Started at 496. Day of surgery was 456. One year post op was 200. Now nearly 3 years post op I am 190 to 195. Can the sleeve work for higher weights and BMI? It did for me

Wooo Hooo, found it. Great job!

Looking great! I just sent you a PM, but figured your answer would be informative here. I can't tell how far to the sides your incisions run. Did you have the circumferential (360 degree) or just the paniculectomy (front only)? Did they do an abdominoplasty? I have been approved for the pani, but want to know what it looks like after. Anything else I will have to pay out of pocket. So I'm trying to decide how much better the results would be with the optional procedures. Thanks.

As much as I hate to reference it, because I hate it. What's your current BMI? There is nothing wrong with getting slightly under your target weight. There will most likely be a bit of a weight increase as you get further out and your body readjusts to the new weight range.

Hi everyone! Having my sleeve done in Grand Rapids on Sept. 24th by Dr. Baker. Scared and excited at the same time, but so excited to start this journey...... Please pray for a safe surgery and recovery! Anyone else going this day???

Dr. Baker is a great guy and amazing surgeon. He did my VSG 1/1/2011. Spectrum or St. Mary's hospital?

Congrats! I'm about 5 weeks out and had a great experience too! Walk, walk!

psst...update your profile info.

My honest answer. I don't know. My wife has pointed out to me on several occasions where she believes woman have been "checking me out" or have been more nice that just normal chit chat (cashiers, waitresses, etc).

I really don't know and I think I know why. For my entire life I expected to not get that kind of attention. I remember being in junior high and realizing that I was the big guy and only after someone got to know me would I have any chance, I wasn't the cute guy that instantly drew attention. I really think that has contributed to why I am apparently so oblivious to any attention now.

I really wish I would get some of that attention, to have that feeling for once in my life that I was someone that had a physical appeal to the ladies. It might be the case, but if it is, I don't know about it. Guess I'll have to continue relying on my sparkling personality and quick wit.

Just realized I was of no help in actually answering your question.

In moving into maintenance I really analyzed what I was doing pre surgery that got me to where I was. How did I continue to gain year after year? It turned out to be pretty simple. I had no accountability and knowledge of what I was actually putting into myself. I ate what ever I wanted, as much as I could and never bothered to think about just how much it actually was. Combine that with never knowing what my actual weight was and it's a pretty easy recipe for super morbid obesity. I lived in a fog created by my own ignorance and apathy.

My approach to maintenance has been to do what I was not doing before. I hold myself accountable. I weigh myself once a week. My daily food intake is still pretty consistent and I'm very conscientious about what and how much I'm eating. I am not as regimented and restrictive as I was when I was in losing mode, but I know that I can't down a half gallon of ice cream and expect it to not be detrimental. I have an acceptable weight range I want to be in and if I get out of that range I go back to logging everything again.

The stress and emotional eating will likely always be my biggest hurdle and I know know that. I know that when things get stressful, etc. I need to be more diligent and pay attention. I have even found that when I am experiencing stressful times, I will go back to logging everything, just as an extra level of awareness.

Damn this taking the easy way out sure seems like a lot of work. But sooooo worth it!

Try going with, "What? Are you saying I was Fat before?"

Interestingly, everyone has focused on the relationship aspect of the OP. I would like to turn our attention to the other significant point of the post, that you feel the need to be constantly doing something. Sure, this is likely the result of making up for lost time, all those years when we sat around doing nothing and as you say, literally wasting our lives. But I do think there is something else at work here; you see, we used to fill that "boredom" or antsiness or whatever you want to call it, with food. Which of course reaches back into the "whys" of our overeating in the first place. What were we avoiding by stuffing our faces? What aren't we facing by being constantly active? What would happen if we were alone with our thoughts? I don't know if I'm making any sense or if it's just hogwash, but this occurred to me too, just like it did for the OP and a few others who said they have felt this way. When I was in the States a typical day for me was as follows: 5am wake up, 6am-2pm work, 3pm pilates, 4pm yoga, 5:30pm crossfit or tango, 7-8pm do laundry/pack lunch/set out clothes for following day/pay bills/journal/shower. 8-9pm watch a movie or show, sleep. and I did a version of this 6 days a week, I only slept in on Sundays, and even then it meant getting up at 8 instead of 5. and guess what? I really mean this when I say, that I still felt like I wasn't doing anything. I'm serious guys, I still felt "lazy". No doubt that is from over a decade of social abuse, being told overtly and subconciously that I was lazy or worthless etc etc etc.

so anyway, I love being active, I love dancing and physical movement and being social, but I have also concentrated on being okay with just being me, and not having to prove my worth every second of every day.

Hope my ramble made sense.

Not rambling at all. You have done an outstanding job of understanding what I was asking about. There will likely be differences in most relationships as people grow and change. My main curiosity was this internal drive to nearly always be busy.

Thanks again to everyone for the comments.

Nothing to be sorry about, thanks for the input. Yeah we have talked about it, to great lengths. I'm sure the relationship will work out. I really never expected this amount of desire to be on the go. Can't say I'm disappointed about it though.

I find myself in an odd situation. I feel as though I always need to be doing something. I am not sure if it is that I have so much more energy than I ever had before or the psychological impact of realizing just how much of my life I spent inactive and on the couch, essentially wasting my life.

By doing something I don’t necessarily mean always working out or exercising, though I have found myself going out for runs, just for something to do. I used to spend hours upon hours just watching TV and now, while I still have a few shows I like to watch, I really feel like I’m just wasting time if I’m sitting in front of the TV. Even going out to a movie I find to be more enjoyable than just staying at home.

Here’s where the problem comes in. My wife does not share my desire to be almost constantly on the go. She likes to go to work come home and just relax. Nothing wrong with that and she does on occasion want to go out or go for a walk, etc., but she is much more content just chilling out at home than I am. It’s really become an issue because she doesn't want to hold me back from doing things, doesn't want me to become resentful of her if I don’t go do things and yet she does not want to be left home alone frequently either.

I never thought anything like this would come from me doing something to lose weight and better my health.

I absolutely look deflated. What surprises me most is how much it bothers me. Losing as much as I have it is perfectly logical that the package that once contained 300 lbs more of me, is going to be saggy. The the reality is that I went from being the fat guy to being the old guy. The additional skin at my check and abdomen I expected as a by product of the loss, but I never thought the extra skin on my face and neck would give me the aged appearance I have.

I was at the beech recently and was saddened by my new reality. I used to not take my shirt off because of my size, man boobs, ext., now I don't take it off because I look like I've melted. At times it is a struggle emotionally to remember and account for all the good that has come from this weight loss when everyday getting out of the shower I'm reminded of just where I am now at.

I have a plastics consult scheduled for Oct 8 and hope to be able to shed this last remnant of who I used to be.

I have not heard the 4oz in an hour recommendation, outside of the first thing I drank post op. The approximate capacity of the sleeve is 4oz once the swelling goes down, but the reason to drink slowly is because you only have 15% of the volume you used. I know that was one of the hardest things for me, because I could easy down a 20oz pop with one gulp pre op. The first time post op I took a big drink in the manner I used to, it was a pain that I still remember.

I do want to ask you about something though. You said, " I'm not in pain really, didn't feel too uncomfortable." that to me means that there was some discomfort at the very least. There should not be. If there is any discomfort, you drank too fast. Slow down, you racing or something?

You wont be disappointed Gardengirl.

Great responses and perspective.

My topic actually was more about feeling jaded as a "vet" and listening (reading) all the honeymoon posts and realizing that it's not all roses and sunshine but listening to others who can't believe how the weight is just melting off them. And not really about how you feel about your sleeve journey. More just wondering if the inundation of newbie posts get old.

I appreciate when the newbies post of their successes. The reason is that it reminds me of the elation I felt when I was seeing success for the work and commitment I was putting in. It was very motivational to see the results and know that I was doing what I needed to do to make this work. When I read such posts I hope that their victories are providing them with the same elation and validation I felt when I was where they are now.

As a side note, one would be very wise to document such events, NSVs, feelings of elation, etc.

There comes a time when the NSVs and the, "wow you look awesome" encounters fade. We all begin to live in what is our new normal. It is in those times that it is beneficial to be able to look back and remind ourselves just how important those events were to us and just how far we have come.

Well, in all honesty, I hope that NO ONE ever told you "this will solve all your problems" because that just isn't the truth. Everyone says (and repeats) this is just a tool. And yep, here I am getting close to 3 years later and guess what? I still have to weigh and measure my food, I still have to be ON my game, or some weight can slip back on.

So on one hand sure it can be frustrating sometimes to have to remain diligent. I did NOT get skinny from this surgery and did not pick to be in maintenance when my body decided to quit losing. But I have made peace with being where I am. (I am battling a bit of a regain +15lbs which I AM refusing to accept and will continue to battle until it's gone) but I have made peace with the fact that I will not have a "normal" BMI. I'm okay with that.

On the other hand, this is ONE piece of the big puzzle. Why did I eat, when did I eat, and what did I eat pre-surgery? And because of having surgery and dealing with some of the issues around my own eating puzzle, I'm forever grateful for having this surgery. Would I have ever been able to lose -85lbs and KEEP IT OFF for 2 years? Nope. Not this girl. I would have already gained it all back by now.

So the answer to the question is the rose colored glasses are MY CHOICE and how I want my journey to be. I've learned that there is NO finish line, there is no DONE and now I just get to eat whatever I want and not gain weight. So I've accepted that this is MY battle MY cross to bear and I refuse to accept defeat. Attitude counts...it's really all up to you and it always has been. The surgery is the tool to help you, not do it for you.

***STANDING OVATION*****