BrenM

You're doing great, you're managing yourself properly, and the set backs, well... sometimes there is just a reason Tom. Hang in there, look for the silver linings as much as you already are, and keep motivated. I'm rooting for you!!!!

You make them. I use a peice of an old sheet or piece of cloth. Put something in it and tie it shut with a piece of string.

I got to thinking about something a little while ago and I thought, why not throw it out there for discussion. Background- Had my lap-band surgery 03/10/2011. So, this is my 4th night awake. I'm doing so so, hurting quite a bit still, which makes it hard to sleep, as do narcotic pain meds. Throughout these last few days, and the last 3 weeks I've been on a liquid diet. At times totally successful, and a few times I fell off the wagon. Understanding I am human, I'm not going to hide it or pretend I am perfect. I tried to start a full liquid diet today and was sorely unsuccessful. The runny grits, no good. Took 4 bites and felt like I had sandpaper stuck in my throat. Tried some sugar free pudding tonight, again... just very uncomfortable, so I stopped after 3 bites. My stomach is still very swollen despite hot and cold packing. So I'm guessing that's part of the issue. But the truth is also this, even the last week before surgery I was having a hard time gagging down the protein shakes and crap. I was literally living on vitamin water zero, hence my few lapses. I'm not craving food as much as chew. I don't find many foods to taste that great to me, but if it has the right texture I'm addicted. When you put the two together, it's a winning combination. What do I enjoy THE MOST? A perfectly cooked steak. It was my last real meal before starting the liquid diet. Oh man do I miss it. I MISS MEAT!!! So, as I said earlier, I got to thinking. I've worked with the mentally and physically disabled in the past, and for some... eating was not an option. They were fed through tubes in their stomaches. PERIOD! But for some who were fed through the tubes, they were given the opportunity to have sensory stimuli. TASTING! How do you let someone taste something without letting them swallow it? I mean you have to be able to swallow at least your own spit for it to work. The therapists would use 'chew bags'. Some sort of solid food placed into a pourous yet not meshlike cloth. So no pieces could come loose. And we'd hold these bags in the patients mouthes and they would be encouraged to chew. Of course they got some of the flavor, and they chewed. It was kind of cool. So I just tried it myself. A peppered piece of lunch meat and cheese in a chew bag. I got my chew on, I swallowed a little bit of flavor/spit. Nothing bad there, and I feel... ok. Kind of wierd, but like the garlic clove crunching I did the first 2 weeks, I had to do something, and it works. I feel Much better!!! Bren

Something else too... you start to realize how much your life has revolved around meals, food, etc. and how much of it is head hunger and what isn't. It's an interesting time to go through, so experience it the best you can. It's all part of the journey, and finding new things to do. I still look forward to planning my families meals, and mine every day, but I also notice how many times in a day I would have turned to the kitchen and no longer do. We're cutting that umbilicus kitcheness. Hehehehe!! Hang on there man!!! Bren

Well.... my doctor didn't talk about the diets too much. I know, I don't think he's the best one around for this type of thing, but for a surgeon I'd trust no other. So at about the 2nd week post op I'm ready to kill people. Obviously my stomach swelling is gone, I'm friggin starving, and I don't need MOOSHIES. So I'm kind of on my own diet plan so to speak. Mostly fluids, some Protein shake for lunch or even Breakfast, my Vitamins, and a reasonable meal consisting of mostly protein chewed to death for dinner. I tried eating veggies the other day and suffered for hours, so it's not all good. I can't say you should or shouldn't do something, but if you're on the edge of having a complete melt down, adjust things for yourself a bit. I know when I was completely on Water during the last week of my pre-op diet, because I couldn't stand the dairy products and shakes any longer, I was the most apt to crack and snarff something down as fast as possible. I did it 3 times and felt VERY ill from overeating, AND totally guilty like a failure. You've just got to be honest and reasonable with yourself. I cook for my family, I sit with them at restaurants. To do that with a glass of water SUCKS. WHAT can I have 3 weeks out that isn't going to hurt me, the band, or my weight loss. That is the question... and I'm doing pretty good so far. A whole lot less pissed off and not bawling all the time. Read my blog on chew bags... IT DOES WORK!!! Bren

I am having this EXACT same problem since the moment I woke from surgery. I have had little to no pain elsewhere. I am 2 weeks out from surgery and it is a TERRIBLE problem. It stops when I am in an upright position, but since the surgery, after only a few minutes of laying down I am in agony. This horrible stabbing pain under my left ribcage as if I've run a marathon that radiates around to my back and burns like hell. I've tried every possible position to make it stop. Not working. The hotpad worked the first week, but now it's not doing anything. I still have pain meds and they do nothing at all for it. I mentioned it to my doctor on my 10 day checkup and he passed it off and told me to use a hotpad. Of course he passed off the horrible pop I had at the port site as well, and the hernia I believe I have. But also my port site is a huge lump as big as a goose egg, he said was some water pocket. I told him the hernia was next to it and he dismissed me. Anyway, I am absolutely miserable and can't sleep and scared shitless. What the hell is going on???? Anyone know what is causing this? Bren

I had a conversation with my cousin last night and she said something very strange to me.... "Bren, don't change who you are when you are thin." I thought... what an odd thing to have someone say to you. So we discussed it and I understood what she meant more. She said, some people trade one addiction for another... Then she talked about a friend of her's whose sister would become indignant if someone mentioned how great she looked after losing weight. Then you have the ones who become better than everyone else And worse yet, the floozies, who don't know how to handle attention without doing it on their backs. And lasty, I read a post about someone who was sick of people asking how much weight they had lost, on this here weight loss forum... and all the comments that followed. And it made me think of the bigger picture. The truth is, we live in a world that is obsessed by a persons physical appearance, and the amount of pure hate and prejudice heaped on people who are fat is immeasurable. I myself live in a ridiculously prejudice part of the country. Cowboys with stickers on their trucks of a boy pissing on fat chicks. You name it. The ridicule is endless. Getting jobs, being taken seriously by doctors, even enjoying a night out with a meal has been difficult. I've endured so much hate in my life. But now as with then I prefer to take the high road. My surgery and my weight loss haven't been advertised. But if people notice and say something to me, I am certainly not going to take offense. Rather it is an opportunity to educate people in some fashion or another. To connect with people. If people notice and ask questions, you don't have to be a nasty person. Because the first person you should be doing this for is YOURSELF! It's not anyone's business if I lose or don't lose, but they will notice, and they will ask. Being honest with even strangers can change their way of thinking. How many times has someone asked you... "How are you?". How many times do you think they really meant it to hear the real answer? Many years ago I started giving people the TRUTH! And I never ask that question unless I am prepared for the real answer. I don't want to hear... "We're fine". I want to hear... how you REALLY are! Maybe it makes your life too personal to the world, but you cannot imagine the effects you can have on other people with your honesty. Most people are good natured and when they ask a question they may well be facing their own battle and want to connect. Our world has become far too seperate. We don't care about our own neighbors. We have to start caring again. I don't want to stand in the middle of a crowd and feel completely alone any longer. If you ask me about my weight loss, I am going to tell you, and I'm going to ask you a question about your life, and maybe... we'll help one another. Just be who you are... no matter what body fits around it. Bren

Then that makes MUCH more sense. But possibly the following replies infiltrated some context that should not have been implied. I retract my irritation. And I say... just let them ask.... and then... be sharp, be tactful, and educate them if you must. It's sort of like the mountain of women who have comlpetely crossed the line about how my husband looks. I'm uncertain how I'm even suppose to respond to these women, let alone how appropriate or inappropriate it is for them to be vocally slobbering over him. And we had to think... what do you say, how do you give these people an eduation with your reply or lack thereof? I always say it's better to keep your head held high, but you can also quite effectively give people a spanking for the inappropriate rudeness. I mean, I'm not asking women... So how's that boob job working out for ya? What doctor did you go to??? Did you have a face lift??? You look SOOO MUCH YOUNGER!! Oh MY GOD BILL, Did you quit drinking, you've lost your beer belly. June says that enzyte is really helping your errectile dysfunction. If you've come up with some smooth ways to deal with the near strangers who rudely ask questions... let us all know.

Agreed, in real life it can be uncomfortable. On here... it makes sense.

And then you have me... I have no butt no matter what pants I wear. My mother says I was blessed with an indin <<< Native American Indian.... CRACKER A**! Looks like two crackers next to one another. Hehehehehe!!!! But....... will my boobs shrink too much. GAWD I hope not, though I'd like to stop special ordering bra's. Muahhahhahhaaaa..... Losing weight ROCKS!!!

LOVE your motivation. Setting goals is very important as well, but I don't think it's necessary to change them. Rather, give yourself the celebration when you reach that goal early, and set a new mid goal. It may change those long term goals, but don't erase them. Just ammend them because of JOB WELL DONE!!! I lost 23 pounds since surgery day... 8 days. I had not set any short term goals because I was prepared to just focus on healing and following the diet. I am super excited about this success and we will see where the next few weeks takes me. I am certainly not going to set goals that will lead to disappointment though. Beware of that!!! My inner goals are to follow the diet strictly... and only I know if I am doing that or not. I think that is the key. Bren

Your post kind of irritates me and possibly we are here for different reasons. I believe in joining this community we come together as a group of people who have undergone the necessary hardships to reach a goal. WEIGHT LOSS! We've had surgery to make that possible. We have a group of people who may understand all or some of the challenges we have had and do face in reaching this endevor. It all boils down to that very question... how much weight HAVE you lost. Why or why not? Let's figure it out. We have a wonderful group of people who we can discuss our issues with, and who support one another with every aspect of acheiving that. My facebook friends... they know about my life. My Lap Band friends... they are the one's, maybe the only one's I am honestly making an accounting to about MY WEIGHT! If you're stalled, talk about it, the reasons why. That's what we're all here for, to help one another be successful LOSING WEIGHT!!! Good Luck! Bren

Right now my port is about the size of an egg about 3 inches above my belly button. I can feel it, I can see it, and it sort of creeps me out. Doc said that the lump will go away some. Hrrrrmmm... I guess I didn't read enough to understand how this works. There aren't any parts sticking out of me. Hahaha! I think it's something I'll get used to, though the hernia is right to the left of it, so I have to be careful. No worries man, it's all part of the deal. Bren

I will never eat chicken again as I learned I am significantly allergic to it. Makes me sad when I sit with the family as their munching on hot wings, but... the consequences would far outweigh the satisfaction. It's just one more thing to let go of. I lost 23 pounds since surgery on March 10th. Wooot wooot!!!

Yay!! Congratulations!!! Recoginzing you have an addiction to food isn't like recognizing you're an alcoholic. You don't get to quit eating forever. What I am doing to manage this is 1st, setting out menu's. I've never been a menu person in my life. But recognizing that if it's planned it's less likely to temp you is important. I wrote a blog about 'chew bags'. I dunno, maybe that might be a suggestion to try as well. I'm having trouble with the full liquid diet. Everything seems to get stuck. Yogurt, Soup, anything with consistency beyond Water. It can be frustrating and painful. So my plan is to literally go for 1 bite at a time. They say make your meals last 1/2 hour. How would you make 1/4 cup of soup last 1/2 hour? I guess if I take a bite and wait 10 minutes that would work. After being stuck I don't tend to WANT anything anyway. It's a whole new ballgame and one we don't want to screw up. Keep working on it!! Bren

My problem with gum is it doesn't taste like steak. hehehehe... Maybe I could start a new market, like Harry Potter... "Every flavor gum" The majority of this liquid diet stuff is all on the sweet side. I mean beef broth is good, but I was looking for a different kind of chew fix. I'm not real fond of sweets.

Yay Terry!!!! I'm so excited for you. I can't believe you're already eating, that's GREAT!!! I'm still having a tough time with it, and got a hernia when I coughed. Another bandster said her doc told her to lean against the back of the sofa to keep pressure on her belly when she coughs. So, just thought I'd pass on the word of wisdom, because no one mentioned it to me. I'm gonna be fine though, just another surgery some time in the future. Take it easy, rest rest rest and we look forward to seeing you!!! Bren

I've been reading this and I'm not the type to think I have everything, but for the past 5 years I've been suffering terribly from headaches, some lasting months at a time that no medicine seems to help, My ears feel clogged all the time, my hearing varies and I can hear my ears contracting from noise, I've had two sinus surgeries and been treated for sinus infections so many times with NO success, I've got floaters in my right eye. My optometrist couldn't find anything. How do you get this checked out. I swear sometimes my head feels OVER FULL of Fluid. It makes me neck hurt at times. Just wondering... Bren

Unfortunately quitting eating isn't like quitting smoking. You CAN'T go cold turkey... at least not forever. It sort of sounded like bulemia without the vomiting to me at first, but if it works for people who NEVER get to eat, it can work for people who shouldn't eat.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. My surgery was the 10th and I'm not up for much yet either. I am exhausted, can't consume anything but Clear liquids yet. I tried, but it didn't work. My tummy is swollen and when I cough I have to hold myself or I feel a pop and a tingling. It's scarey. When it comes to your kids.... You have my support. My children are older now, but 5 years ago I fell and broke my leg at work. For 3 days I laid in bed and my 7 year old had to help me move. I had no support system what so ever. Over the next 2 years I had 5 surgeries. I lost a lot of precious time with my kids, a lot of mothering I didn't get to do. Everything around us deteriorated, and I went through some very depressed times. In pain and incapable. What you can know for certain is this... what you and I are going through is much more temporary than say, a broken leg. It IS good for children to have some self reliance and independence from us. Sometimes it takes a tough time to make that possible. They won't be irreparably harmed from it, because as you succeed in your weight loss goals you will become an even more active mother. Don't weight yourself down with guilt, just focus on the task at hand. There are so many people here you can talk to about how you're feeling. They know, and they can tell you, there is an end. Just try to heal, and be patient. Patience is the hardest part. God Grand me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. You are doing all of that. Bren

My surgery date was March 10th. I am 3 days out and struggling a bit. But glad to be with a group of people taking the leap as I have done. This group has really been valuable to me!! Go get em March people!!!! Bren

After being on the liquid diet for 2 weeks I was feeling so successful, and so much hunger, that I went and had a meal at a chinese restaurant. Then a few days later pizza at my neices birthday party. Then a burger and artichoke dip. I actually made myself sick the night before surgery. WHY? Why did I need to reward myself by undermining myself and punishing my stomach? BECAUSE.... that's how it has always been done. I knew I couldn't look my doctor in the eye after having done all that, but kept telling myself... I only ate 3 times. That self talk didn't help much. What I have focused on since those events is this... I have no willpower. And willpower isn't important. What is important is to make up your mind to do something, and no longer give yourself any excuses for not doing it. You can reason with yourself in that cirumstance, and you are fully aware of when you are lying to yourself. I don't DESERVE that meal. I didn't do anything to EARN it. I have to find another way to pat myself on the back; and to give myself something else I DESERVE that won't hurt me or my goals. Here's a tried and true trick I've started using for those moments when your brain shuts off and your animalistic ravenousness kicks in. I picked up some marinated garlic cloves at the olive bar at Safeway. Then we had several dinner parties, WHILE I was on a liquid diet. And I was the cook. When I began that self talk about how a little wouldn't hurt, or I could just this once, just a taste isn't bad, I would break out the garlic, stick a whole clove in my mouth, and chew it for all it was worth until it was completely pulverized. HOLY COW did it burn, tingle, taste, and SATISFY. It is like putting a big red stop sign in front of your face, changed the focus, gave me a crunch, a munch, and a feeling of flavor, burned out my nostrils and tongue, and I was good to sit down, watch everyone else enjoy the meal and drink my vitamin water. I don't think a clove of garlic is something to feel guilty over, something that will hurt, nor something that will derail you. It really really works for me... give it a try. Bren P.S. The best way to stop craving sugar is to completely irradicate it in every way from your life. I've done this and my diabetes is VERY under control now, dropped 7 pills and all the insulin in 2 weeks.

I don't know anyone locally who has the band, so it's nice to have you all out there with comments on how this can be a success. How are you feeling? What things have you been doing? I'd really like to join this little March surgery cluster/group. It'll be fun to see where we all end up, and to have encouragement throughout the journey. Bren

Hey Parker, how are you feeling? Seems we all picked a great week to get on the 'band'-wagon. I understand your not telling anyone. Eveyone knows I've had surgery, just very few have the info on what or why. I didn't find this website until the night after surgery when I was totally freaking out. I'm glad we aren't alone. I got support right away that night, and I come back here very often throughout the day just so I don't feel so alone. Reading the reminders, walk, sip, take it easy no one is exactly the same helps. Ive only had Clear liquids since the surgery, but may try a Protein shake today to regain some energy. What are you doing???? Bren

Sarabi, how are you doing/feeling? My surgery was on the 10th, I'm still pretty exhausted and sore, head hungry but doing fine with it. I know we can do this thing girl!!! Let's stick together, Bren