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Butrcupz622

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by Butrcupz622

  1. Slept only 4 hours last night but I still got up at 4:15am to go to the gym. Can't... let... myself down.

  2. Butrcupz622

    Honey, I've shrunk...

    So... while the weight isn't coming off the way I'd like, something I've already accepted, the inches are. Something noticeably different I've been feeling? My bones. They seem to be protruding more, and lord, if it don't hurt while I lay down in bed. It feels like I'm constantly getting poked; and I'm having more trouble sleeping on my belly because I'm feeling my ribs more and more. What a difference when I had the cushioning to help me fall asleep. Along with my weight, I had a matching set of buttocks to go with it. I'm not gonna lie. My butt is huge... enough to make it it the "butt" of many jokes. hehe. But, now that I'm losing the inches, I'm happy to report that I'm begining to lose my butt. And the difference has become very noticeable in that it hurts to be seated for long periods of time. At the moment, I can only manage to sit for about an hour or so before I begin to feel the aches and pains. Then I'll reposition myself until I can't stand it anymore. I end up having to get up just to give my butt some relief. I have to say, when I was heavier that certainly never happened. And my jelly rolls are getting smaller (yay!). The last thing I want to do is put myself on the spot but this is my therapy.. i.e: F*@# it! Now, one knows that when you're already heavy and a heavyweight on top, that we'll all tend to have the "breast extender." You know, the roll of excess that follows AFTER the breast and extends to underneath the armpits. Ugh, right? Well, I've lost enough of my breast extender to the point that my bra now slides out of place. And I now have pockets in my bra cups to realize that it's time for a change. It is time to go shopping for..(drum roll , please) A NEW, SMALLER BRA! Now, I'm not really sure if I should be bragging about my breasts getting smaller. Most women talk about having big ones, but when you've had 'em all your life, I'm ready to say good-bye. Just leave me with a lil suttin suttin and I'll be good... (Making lemonade with oranges, heh) Well, that's it for now. I know I've said a lil too much in this entry but that's fine by me. Hope this made somebody laugh
  3. Whoo hoo! Keep on losing it!

  4. It's the little things that count: Got on the train today and I actually fit into a seat without having to worry if I was gonna smack somebody with my booty :) Feelin good. Ah cha cha cha!

  5. This surgery is meant to change your way of life.. of how you think in regards to food. Sure, it's not a permanenet solution.. it's a tool. Before I started this process, I focused on changing myself and my eating habits. I have this surgery and while I'm not on a diet, I am watching what I eat. I don't eat fried foods anymore, most sugar foods (but I don't deny myself either) You can't think of this as surgery with a diet. Pick the foods you like and cook them healthy. Bake, steam, broil. Cut out the greasy middle man. The more you continue changing the more natural it will be for you. And with the smaller portions you'll be eating the weight will fall off. Have faith. Don't listen to others. Just listen to you. Good luck on your journey!
  6. Ugh, me thinks me definitely will have to get surgery on me batwings. Looking more toned but I just don't think the excess bagagge will fully go away. Good thing I have another year and a half til then

  7. Don't concentrate too much on what your husband is saying. Chances are he was probably giving you support on the off chance that this was just a phase you were going through. And now that he sees you're that much closer to your surgery goal, he's beginning to have his own doubts, maybe his own moment of insecurity. Remember, this sugery is for yourself and no one else. Only you know what can truly make ou happy both inside and out. Don't try to convince him. Just let him experience it for himself. He'll get the picture when he sees you're serious about this. Further down the road, he'll give you the support you need simply because he loves you. He's going through a moment of adjustment. Share everything with him but keep your strong will and determination going fierce. Good luck!
  8. Please don't fret... A surgery like this one has had all of us, at one point or another, ready to go ballistic. It's hard; for some more than others. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that this is the beginning of your journey to a better you. There are days when you're going to feel as if you did wrong. but, there will also be days when you'll notice a lil somethin is missing, perhaps from your waistline or that double chin is starting to fade away. Those days are the ones that count because yo'll feel so good about yourself that you'll know you did the right thing. Each day is going to be different. Instead of feeling bummed and crying, just tell yourself that everything will be okay. I wish you the best!
  9. I realized that all my exercising has been paying off. I wlk so fast down the street that I don't even get winded! It's suchj a great feeling... Starting up on my boxing lessons again this Saturday. Yay me! :-)

  10. I realized that all my exercising has been paying off. I wlk so fast down the street that I don't even get winded! It's suchj a great feeling... Starting up on my boxing lessons again this Saturday. Yay me! :-)

  11. Butrcupz622

    I'm good...

    Well, currently my weight is 275. At first I wasn't happy, what with the slow progress I've had to endure, but then, I realized I'm not the same person. My clothes don't fit right anymore; and it's crazy because they were close to snug before and now they're just big. I bypassed the "just right" phase. I'm still refusing to buy new clothes as of yet because I can't seem to see myself wasting money on clothes I won't be able to wear for long. The one thing that has worked well for me is my body shape. I may weigh 275 but I don't look it. I look about 240 which is quite all right with me. I'm waiting to lose at least another 30-40 pounds which might be by the upcoming springtime. That would be perfect because then I'll be able to buy cheap summer clothes. I've finally accepted that my weight loss isn't going to be quick n easy as I had always assumed. It seems that my body's going to fight me all the way. And who can blame it, right? It's been so used to lugging all the extra heavy weight for soooo many years. But, I have noticed a trend in my weight loss. I'll stalll for like a month and then BAM! I'll lose ten pounds then stall again and here we go losing again. Knowing how my body's choosing to lose the weight is not what I would have chosen for myself but I can accept it. I haven't been this weight since I was in my early 20s. I'm feeling good about myself. The exercise in the gym and the weight loss combined have made it easy for me to even be able to walk fast without getting all out of breath. I used to walk so slow and now my boyfriend can't even keep up with me. This is a whole new feeling for me and I'm loving the fact that I'm able to enjoy it. It feels like a whole new natural high. But it's a challenge, also. Don't get me wrong. There have been times that I've cried just because I wasn't able to eat everything that was on my dinner plate. There were times when I was craving a certain food and not to be able to even finish half of it has brought to my knees a times. It's been a real struggle adjusting to the fact that food cannot control my life as it used to. Hell, I'm still struggling and it's not something that I think will ever completely go away but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm healthier, weigh less and what could've been high blood pressure is no more. I'm turning my life around around and even though it's a slow process I can see the finish line.
  12. I've finally accepted that my weigh loss isn't going to be quick n easy; and it's okay. I'm actually happy. I haven't weighed this much in a very long time :)

  13. Butrcupz622

    (Sigh)...

    So another month has gone by and I'm still at 284 pounds. I get the results of my blood tests next week. At this point, I'm kinds hoping that they'll find somnething with my thyroid or that I do have PCOS. It's frustrating and a lil bit scary the moods that I get into. I go from being happy to sad to angry to just wantin to give up on myself and the whole world. And I'm beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, all the emotions I'm feeling have to do with more than just having gotten this operation. It's not easy. My boyfriend and I have been arguing and disagreeing more often. The only thing I've kept a tight hold on is going to the gym. All together, I usually do like 45 minutes of the elliptical and then 30-40 minutes weight training. At the end of each workout, I feel good about myself. As if I'm accomplishing something big, which I am.
  14. Butrcupz622

    Must be cause I've been drinkin

    It must be 'cause I've been drinkin but I'm feelin so disgusted with myself. Do you know that I've busted my ass, literally, this week, n I haven't ost a freakin pound. I'm to the point that I'm freakin disgusted with myself.. I'm beginning to feel hateful n jealous of those that seem to be losing weight like nothing. Yeah, I know it's wrong and I'm truly wishing you the best to all that are accomplishing their mission), but I'm feeling stuck. For the past twp weeks I've been exercising my ASS off, literally. And I don't know why but I'm not losing any weight whatsoever. What's left for me to do? I just don't know anymore. I'm beginning to feel like perhaps I've wasted my time on this whole operation. Of course I'm hating on those who're doing so good. I wan to be where they are. I'm so frustrated right now. Well, on the good side is that I went to my doctor n explained it to her, She's begun testing ...me on my thyroid to see if anything's up. Will let u know.
  15. Butrcupz622

    Kickin it up a notch

    I had a doctor's appt on October 18. According to their scales, I managed to lose about 16 pounds since my last appt on Sept.13. I should be ecstatic to see that I am losing weight but I'm not. I can only say that I think my expectations are too high or that my body just isn't willing to part with the fat. Or maybe I'm just not doing something right. I have noticed a trend with me and that's that I've taken to being a complainer and a worry wort. I seem to never be satisfied with myself and I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'm pushing myself. I've been going to the gym almost everyday and I work out for an hour and a half each time (includes strength training). I wake up so early to be able to go the gym that by the end of the day, I'm more than drained and exhausted. I'm starting to get bags under my eyes and can barely go up a flight of stairs. And I can't let up because I'm so afraid I'll give up and I have never felt as motivated as I do now. I'm trying to find my way in being able to adjust my schedule so I can get things done and be able to rest and relax. but it seems to me that this schedule is the one that works for me even though it is exhausting. On the plus side, I've noticed that my body isn't looking so bulky. My "boobies" have started to slowly disappear and I'm finding that my bra isn't fitting right anymore. My sister even had the gall to stuff her hand in my bra through my shirt because she felt the need to show me just how much of a gap I had. Apparently, my bra sticks out to the point that she can see the lining through my shirt. Grreeeaattt*t!.... And my huge dome of an ass went from a fat filled, pork rind, jelly stuffed, behemoth to an almost flabby, gelatin like distorted picture (think Picasso's portrait of all the distorted clocks that look like as if they're melting). It's gotten to the point that my ass will actually start hurtin if I sit down too long (as is the case now since I'm sitting wrtiing this entry). *sigh* No more cushion for the pushin, I guess. Ah well, my boyfriend's gonna have to worry about that more than me. The one place I don't seem to be getting any kind of good feedback are my arms. Lawd, they are looking so nasty. I've taken to calling them my batwings because while they have gotten slightly thinner, the backs of my upper arms droop like a bag of molasses. Disgusting. I never did like my arms... betcha if I flap my arms I'll end up flying around the room like Dumbo. Ugh. I'm attempting to do more arm exercises but I already know that once I've reached my goal weight, I'll still end up needing surgery to fix them babies. Well, this has been my latest update. In another couple of months, I'll be posting some after pics. Then you'll see what I mean...
  16. I would have to say bread. It feels like I'm trying to stuff a bowling ball down my throat and than when it goes down, it hits me hard. I get pains from the digestion alone. Not worth it. Everything else to this point has been fine, but I might add that I've lost most interest in food. I'll get a craving for something and when I finally get to eat it, I'll find that I don't want it. It can get frustrating...
  17. Butrcupz622

    I just want to cry

    Keep your head up. There's always a moment after a major change when one feels like the bottoms dropped. But once you begin feeling like yourself you'll realize that it isn't as bad as you once had thought. Your body's going crazy trying to adjust to these new changes so expect to feel a certain way, at least for the time being. Try not to focus so much on the feeling but on the moment. It'll be over before you know it. I wish you the best!
  18. Butrcupz622

    30-40 grams of carbs??

    Here's my situation. I'm already frustrated and getting disheartened. I was operated August 17. Post-op I lost give or take 20 lbs. To this date I've more than likely lost only about 5 lbs. My 3 week stall happened almost a month ago and I have yet to see the scale moving. This is beyond a stall. I'm beginning to think that I had this surgery just to lose 35 lbs. I keep reading online that most readers are keeping to a strict eating schedule of 30gr of carbs, 60+ Protein, and between 600-800 calories per day. Can anybody out there please help me by giving me a run down of what exactly you eat to maintain such a low carb diet. I've been keeping track of my calories on myfitnesspal.com and I'm eating about 700-800 calories a day. My carbs usually range about 80-120 on any given day. And please keep in mind that it's not from sweets. Is my carb intake what's messing me up? I drink Protein shakes everyday and I've already started going to the gym. There really shouldn't be any reason on why I'm not losing the weight. My boyfriend's telling me I shouldn't pay so much mind to it but I can't help it. I want to lose weight already...
  19. Got on the scale and it moved! :) Lost 10 lbs in a week!! FINALLY!

  20. Butrcupz622

    The Rebirth

    It's a long time coming but I've begun the process of reinventing myself. I went out and bought hair dye, am FINALLY going to the gym tomorrow (I'm going to have to be carried home), APPLIED to go back to school in January for my bachelor's degree (WOOHOO!) and am looking for a job already. I've also decided to get another tattoo and what better way to symbolize a rebirth of myself than to get a tattoo of a phoenix. I'm excited and my goal here is not to only feel and look better about myself in a healthy, positive way but to really enjoy life. A huge part of being happy is accepting myself now and loving myself even though I'm changing for the better. I'm working hard on changing my whole mindset and not just because of the whole weight issue but for me. I deserve to have purpose in my life, to feel secure, accomplished, confident. I want to begin believing in myself again. I'm going to conquer that person inside of me that loves to critique (or at least lock 'em within the deep recesses of my mind). The next stop for me is Halloween. I bought a Goddess' costume that I was too ashamed to wear last year because I would've been forced to show a part of my big, flabby arms. Now, I'm counting the days til I can go out and have fun. Go to the village and watch the parade while sneaking a few drinks hoping I don't get caught doing it. Ah, reminds me of when I was a 20-something girl. Those were the days... :biggrin0: If anyone has any suggestions on ways to reinvent myself, I would appreciate any feedback. Take care!
  21. Going to go back to strict protein diet n just water

  22. Not losing weight at all... it's been over a month and I just had my surgey in August. Close to giving up.

  23. Butrcupz622

    3 months post op, 6 weeks pregnant

    Oh, my god! I am sooooo happy for you. I just wish the same thing would happen for me. I've been trying for years to get preggers and for you to say that it's happened after so much time trying, it gives me hope that maybe one day I'll get to be as lucky as you. Congratulations on your bundle of joy. I wish you the best!!
  24. So here's the deal... I finally went to myfitnesspal.com and registered myself. I entered all my food consumption for the day and apparently I'm barely managing to eat 700 calories a day. And all the other days are not much different from today (meal wise). Accordingly to their data, my body is like in some sort of starvation mode which is why I'm not losing the weight. My metabolism has slowed down which isn't helping me at all. My question to everyone out there is this: How can I possibly consume the suggested 1,200 calories a day when I stay feeling full? :laugh0: I can never fully finish my meals because they either don't sit well with me or because I instantly feel full. Add to that the amount of liquid I'm supposed to be drinking. How does anyone do it? Am I doing something wrong here?
  25. I've been noticing pretty much lately that my hair is falling out and it doesn't just fall out when I wash my hair. There could be times when I'm fixing my hair and when I pull my away I notice ALOT of strands on the hairbrush. Am I not getting enough Vitamins or something? I do take a Multivitamin everyday. Does anybody know of anything I can do to keep my hair from falling out? The last thing I want is to have waist length hair and a bald spot at the top of my head. It's been like two weeks and I don't think it's going to let up. :scared0: Also, I've been on a 2 week stall and haven't lost any weight since surgery (16 lbs). Since I just recently had the surgery (8/17), is that to be expected? I'm planning on going to the gym next week (my abs not quite ready). I don't really count calories but I know I'm not over doing it. I drink a Protein shake in the morning. My lunch/dinner usually consists of half a ground chicken patty with a 1/4 baked potato and a snack in between. It's usually one or the another because I always feel full. Is there something I'm doing wrong or is it because I'm not exercising at all yet? I'm not frustrated yet since I've prepared myself for this from having read all the posts but I'm beginning to wonder already. :001_smile:

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