You are going through a signficant, positive change in your life by getting banded. I think that this journey will be so much happier and healthier for you if you were with someone who supports you. I think you feel stuck, having been with this person possibly a long time, and certainly since you are engaged. But, you are never stuck! You are always in charge of your life and no one, I'm sure, would judge you if you took a break from this engagement to focus on yourself and your needs. He just doesn't seem kind to you based on this post. I hope it gets better, and wish you the best!!