rudeetina

I've always been fit most of my life but when my brother passed away in 2003 - I stopped working out and turned to food for comfort. As he was my workout partner, the one I would run 10 miles within the morning and in the evening. When I ate I didn't see his face and that is how I coped with him leaving me. In 2004 I stepped on a scale and realized I gained 120 lbs in a year. I didn't care at that point as the one person that would matter for me to care was no longer here. In 2009, one of his good friends came over to Thanksgiving like he did every year and this particular year he took me outside and said "you know Nick would be upset with you right now if he saw you". I cried because he was right. From that very moment, I became aware of what and how I was eating, hired trainer after trainer and no one measure up to my brother and that was frustrating. In 2011 I decided to get the labpand. It was less invasive after 6 months of having it I developed problems with GERD and not being able to keep my food down. My surgeon retired unfortunately right before I started having problems after he last filled me.  I then found another doctor who would just tell me "well you want to lose weight don't you" the trowing up will stop. He had the most horrible bedside manner. So I just dealt with it. Little did I know there was a serious problem brewing. So with the help of my PCP, and the best trainer in the work we conquered working out 6 days a week. To only get frustrated because I was building muscle but not losing fat. So I found another doctor after researching so he can see what is going on with my bad because there definitely was something wrong. After doing a Barium swallow in Feb of 2017 - he saw that I had a bad slip. After unfilling me I had the fear that I would gain weight and I did. I got to 278 lbs. I have Medicaid and they required 6 months of monitored weightloss classes, counseling and meeting with the dietitian. Dr. Long was awesome - he found the problem I was having, unfilled me and stood by my side never steering me wrong. I was to have surgery November 28th but insurance had not given approval yet. So I keep on a liquid diet week after week and all we were waiting for was approval. That was the longest approval I waited for it took over a month, as on Dec 19th Dr. Long called me and said approval came in and he could get me into surgery that Thursday if I was still on my liquid diet. I told him yes I never stopped it because I wanted to be ready to go when I got the call. The day of surgery I was a little anxious because I had waited so long. What was to be a 90 min procedure ended up being 4 hours because he had to remove my bad and take care of a lot of scar tissue that was on my stomach. I lost 4.4 liters of blood but all went well. I don't regret anything I have done as it has been a lesson learned for sure. My body fought everything I was trying to do from different weight loss programs to the lapband that failed me to now having a revision to gastric bypass. It is definitely a mental game for sure but you truly have to be ready to change. I am happy I got the bypass because now I am not hungry right now and I have to remind myself to eat. But this is no miracle pill as I am sure at some point my cravings will come back and I have to be mentally ready and prepared to tackle those cravings. I've come to far t mess that up now. I can't wait to get the old me back. The fitness guru and the fitness challenges I get to partake in. If I am not working out I do not feel right. I feel lazy and fitness is a huge part of an exercise that we as humans need to do and because we become lazy and complacent when we do not get up and move.