A form of survivors guilt.

Well, my wife has been dieting and trying to eat about the same thing as me. Understand she is NOT banded. She has done terriffic, but the reason I got banded is because I believe everyone can lose weight until biologically we are driven to start eating too much again. I just believe, for most people it is inevitable to regain on a diet because we have in our basic genetic code too many things that work against us.

I watch how hard she is working and I remember how difficult it used to be, and it really makes me feel bad. In fact it is down right upsetting. I wanted her to get either banded or get a gastric sleeve at the same time as me, but she just doesn't want to do it. She wants to lose it on her own. Well she is a strong women who has proven she can do it, but it is a terrible thing to watch how hard it is for her. I also feel that she has lost the weight in the past and can do it again, but has also always gained it back.

Why can't she see how futile it is without some help? I'm just really frustated for her, and I feel guilty, about how well and how much easier this is with help. And then I dred what I think is inevitable, the biological need to eat will force her back into weight gain and make her feel like a failure.

I will admit that since I started this, I have also thought a lot about my brother. He had GB about 10 years ago, he died....I'm not sure but the fact I have thought about him a lot lately is probably natural since I'm going through weight loss surgery, but it may be more of the classic survivors guilt?

I'm hoping that if my wife gains the weight back, that she will get the gastric sleeve and move on. The gastic sleeve being the better choice for her in my opinion.

I wish you all my best, and you sound like you have your wife's best interest at heart. She may be a strong woman and make it with her own diet plan, or work off your new diet intake, that in it self is a big change for both. My husband is so supportive of my new journey, he feels bad eating his meals in front of me. He is hoping that his portions will get smaller as he watches mine shrink. Together we share ideas of how to watch our intake. Now if I could just do as much exercise as he, but that will come.

I pray that your guilt fades, your BROTHER would want you to get healthy and enjoy life. We all deserve to be our best, we owe it to ourselves, our partners, children.

God

Bless Patti with a smile