It is SO not a competition!

UGH! Being 7.5mths post op (banded 5/19/08), I feel that I have reached that point that so many people reach---frustration. Its as if I can't be happy with the fifty lbs I've lost, OH NO!, I feel that I should have lost all of the weight by now. WTH? I know better. I know its 1 to 1.5lbs a week, I never ONCE thought that after surgery I would magically lose every lb of excess weight and suddenly be wearing a sz 4. I'm realistic. When I went for my pre-op psych eval I even told the psychiatrist that this was my "tool". Its just hard and I'm glad I was able to find a place where other people understand what I'm saying.

On to the competition. Someone I am semi-close with started her weight loss journey around the same time I did (feb 08). She had planned on getting banded but didn't for whatever reason. So she started excercising excessively (2-3hrs/day) and eating minimally (700cals/day). I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that she could even stand, let alone function and go to the gym by eating so little. She weighed more than I did when we started (she was ATLEAST 350lbs+) and she posted her new year's resolution of wearing a sz 7/8 within the next two months. GRRRRR! Am I jealous? Of course, but that wasn't the big issue. The big issue was when she emailed me and bragged about her being so close to her goal and how she was so sorry for me that I had yet to even reach half way to mine. WTF? Who says that to another person trying to lose weight? Its very frustrating and annoying and I am not sure what to say to her. I mean, on one hand I want to ask her not to say things like that to me, that it bothers me and that my weight loss is a personal thing for me. But, on the other hand I want to cyber-spit in her face and tell her to shove off. I guess I just want her to realize that this isn't a competition between the two of us. My weight loss is a private thing for me, I don't tell family/friends my weekly weight loss (not even my dear hubby) nor do I tell them my short-term/long-term goals. Its just a private struggle for me because no one can understand it. I decided to post a ticker through this board because everyone else here can understand and sympathize. I know people here won't judge me or make me feel as if I am not doing well enough. :confused:

I think I will go bounce on my ball a bit and watch some tv, maybe munch some celery, def. have food cravings tonight but I know I'll make healthy choices!

Good blog...hang in there. I should be banded by June, but I'm trying to prepare myself that I won't hit that elusive sweet spot until maybe the holidays. I've done the races (wild fast diets) and lost tons of weight fast only to gain more back, this time it's a journey. New mindset-Slow and steady wins the race.

Lots of people lose a lot of weight really fast and eventually gain it all back plus more. She was mean and I wonder how much of a friend she really is. I'd congratulate her, tell her you are proud of your "slow and steady" loss and then keep communication to a minumum. Hang in there.

maybe she had surgery and didnt tell you get a new friend! i had surgery yesterday so this is so new to me good luck i am new a posting

You have to ask yourself whether her weight loss without some intervention is possible. If she had so much control and so little problem with metabolism and wieght loss in general, how did she let herself get that high in the first place. Most of us here know that we gained weight for many reasons, and that telling us to eat less and exercise more is just not going to do it. We hit plateaus, we fall back into old habits, we let others become priorites, and sometimes we try really hard and we are good as gold, and the scale doesn't move. Has she had surgery? Maybe Pills? Maybe None of it matters. As you said, your weight loss is personal and any attempt by anyone to sabotage you in any way right now is poison! You stay on track, you make yourself a priority and you love yourself!

Sounds like she is taking Phentermine to me. Classic signs. Regardless, I think instead of getting mad, you should feel sorry for her. All of us know the cycle and she is most likely on it, without knowing it. How dissappointed is she going to be when the weight comes back and yours doesn't. She probably didn't have the surgery because she didn't have the money and the insurance company wouldn't pay for it, not because she is some super human with sudden super powers of will.

Well, I have had my share of bad friends but, in your case I have one question, did you mention to her that you were "thinking about WLS?" If your answer is yes I will bet you anything that she had gastic bypass surgery.

That's exactly what my bad friend did to me, only 70 lbs later after I heard it throught the grapevine she said to me, "I told you that I was thinking about it". (Bullchunks!)

That wasn't the only thing she's done to me in the past but that is the last one. When she calls I press ignore and continue what I was doing.

My fovorite saying is: "Press play and move forword." Ann