Well, I am 1 month and 2 days away from being banded. I have been looking through some of the pictures of before and after of memberss of this site. The more I looked, the more excited I become. Although I am so excited to be having this surgery, I am also a little afraid of anything that can go worng. Nothing new for any surgery that you may go through.

I have not always been FAT. As a matter of fact, up unitl I got married (the first time) and had my 1st child, I was actually skinny. I guess I got comfy with my (now) ex-hubsand and didn't care to take off the weight while I was with him.

Now I am married again to a WONDERFUL man and together we share 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls. Ranging ages 7 to 16. I want to be able to get out in the yard and help our youngest son learn to play football and help our youngest daughter with her cheerleading. But as for now, I don't have the energy to do this, and my back is always hurting, (more so when I stand for any length of time).

I have only been married for a little over 4 months to my new husband. I am so ashamed of myself for being so big now that I am afraid to let him see me without any clothes on, when we make love, it's always with the lights out. I guess anyone that has ever gone through is knows what I am talking about. I don't like to see myself naked much less let the man I am so in love with see me at my weakest.

I know that the joruney ahead will not be the easiest and most likely not the funnest. But I am up for whatever I may have to endure to get to where I can actually look myself in the mirror and not be disappointed with what I see and not hang me head down in dispare. I can't wait to be able to get outside and give my children what they have been deprived of all these yrs. A mom that can run and play with them.