I think I've been band passive long enough

I haven't made a post on here in ages. Maybe I've been neglecting my reality, who knows. But I have a problem, the same problem I had almost 3 years ago. I love food. I love the way it tastes, all the different flavors, all that.

I've been going HAM on food lately, so much so that I thought of something pink and glazed with pineapples and brown sugar as I typed that. I have no idea why I won't stop. I would say can't but I can. I'm not sick, I just want to eat. Ugh...So I've gained 30 lbs since last May. GREAT! Once upon a time I was 22 lbs away from goal and now I have 50 lbs just sitting on. I will when I want to but when the fuuuuuck will I want to!?

I wasn't even bad today, but I think my errors are coming back to get me. I did a nice amount of PB'ing and I guess my body said f**k it let's go all the way. And that is what it did. I vomited for the first time in 3 years. It was miserable. It hurt, stung burned, left me embarrassed the whole shebang. And yet still, all I can think about it what I can eat when I feel better.

The amount of money I dish out on food should just invest in a thing I actually want.

One day Tiana, but soon please. For your own good.