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Facebook, apprehension, goals and other ramblings



To those who have commented on my other blog, HI! I am in the process of moving with my mom and it's kinda crazy. So for awhile I will just post new blogs, and once we're settled in some I will get to know more people on here.


SO I talked to my insurance company and have to do a 6 month diet, have 5 years of morbid obesity and the usual bmi that everyone has. I also forgot to mention that I am only on my dad's fantastic insurance until I'm 26, which isn't a huge thing if I have a decent job lined up but it's been hectic and I haven't seriously looked here although NC has significantly more job opportunities than Wyoming. So I have really small time frame to do my diet and be approved, it's kind of stressful. My stepmom took 16 months to be approved. So to help with my anxiety I am hoping to see a pcp here and get a diet plan together and then have only 5 months and whatever the surgeon requires when I get to NC, and hopefully that helps.


Back to my topic, facebook. I realized I have a TERRIBLE grip on time, and how it relates to doctor's visits. I argued with my mom long and hard that one of my visit's was waaay further back than it was. I was off by like 2 years. Based on what I can find on my timeline I have the weights for I believe 2010-2013, not 5 years, but two of the visits found me getting phentermine, which is wonderful btw-not hungry, loads of energy until of course your body adjusts to it... I do have a bachelor's in Criminal Justice and I am hoping that with surgery career options that were never open to me before are suddenly available.


I have tried so hard in my life to be a normal/healthy person and for the most part I am, probably because I am so freaking stubborn. In fact I have been playing the "I should get it".... "no, I can lose the weight by myself" game for years. I will decide that I can lose the 160ish pounds on my own and I stop thinking about surgery until something happens like; I can barely fit in the airplane seat and I have to put a jacket over my stomach so the stewardesses can't see I can't buckle my seatbelt and I pray REAAALLY hard that the plane won't have turbulents, or clothes that used to fit don't anymore, or they barely fit or whatever else super embarrassing and eye opening things that happen to my fat @ss....sigh. I ramble. I have goals fo myself. I want to do the fun 5ks, the hard mud warrior run thing, I want to go jogging for the sake of jogging with my dog, I want my knees to not hurt and crackle like they do, I want to fit in a plane seat comfortably without infringing on someone else's personal space (I feel terrible when I fly), I want to cross my legs like a lady not a man and I wanna go skydiving!


I am a little apprehensive when it comes to a slimmer body though since I have NEVER dated for the exception of a 10 year old thing and a high school thing that ended in what could be called sexual assault. I digress. If anyone is/was in my boat-never dating (in the more mature years) would you give me advice. I know it's kinda early to ask, but I'd love to hear any input you could give me about anything on here.


Thanks for all the kind words! :)


PS it looks like I will be pursuing the surgery at Duke Regional if anyone else is going/has gone through them I'd love to chat. :)


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