Last night, my fiance tells me that he saw a girl in his store who was, "about the same size as you before surgery," and when I saw her shape I thought, "Thats familiar," and then I realized in that moment looking at this girl, how much weight you've lost. How much your body has changed shape. I'm really proud of you."
After he said this, I was not sure if I felt happy or hurt. He told me, and still tells me repeatedly that he loves me no matter what shape or size I am. He tells me daily that I'm beautilful. I think I was just momentairly hurt in thinking of being large... embarassed that I was as overweight as I was. I was ashamed that he had to deal with me getting to that place. I am still struggling with self perception. I still am a chubby girl. I still have 45 pounds to lose. I feel flabby where I'm having some excess skin, and don't know if it will shrink up or not. I think maybe I need to take a picture of myself soon, and do a comparision. I haven't taken any pictures lately so I don't know how much of me I'm really seeing. I still just see a chubby girl.