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Last night, my fiance tells me that he saw a girl in his store who was, "about the same size as you before surgery," and when I saw her shape I thought, "Thats familiar," and then I realized in that moment looking at this girl, how much weight you've lost. How much your body has changed shape. I'm really proud of you."


After he said this, I was not sure if I felt happy or hurt. He told me, and still tells me repeatedly that he loves me no matter what shape or size I am. He tells me daily that I'm beautilful. I think I was just momentairly hurt in thinking of being large... embarassed that I was as overweight as I was. I was ashamed that he had to deal with me getting to that place. I am still struggling with self perception. I still am a chubby girl. I still have 45 pounds to lose. I feel flabby where I'm having some excess skin, and don't know if it will shrink up or not. I think maybe I need to take a picture of myself soon, and do a comparision. I haven't taken any pictures lately so I don't know how much of me I'm really seeing. I still just see a chubby girl.


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I totally understand how you feel. I'm at my doctors goal weight that he set for me and I still feel like, in my head, that I weight 250. Although I know its extra skin there it still feels like fat.

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Moregan, Isn't it telling that we cannot take a complement at any weight! It's as though we cannot be comfortable in our skin period. I think that your fiance was very sweet last night. Take him at his word and trust that he is being honest with you.

And, for all of us dealing with weight issues, please don't hate that girl that was once you. That person was just as worthy of his love as you are at your new weight. She is, and was, you! I am preop and it hurts me to see so many people talk badly about "that person" they were before weight loss. I hope that I can still embrace that women because she was brave. She was willing to sign up for this surgery even though it was scary. When she leaves the house she does so with her head high, even if there is pointing or snickers. When you feel unsure of yourself get in touch with that women because she has learned to look for other ways of coping. Some of them were not good (food) but she didn't quit!

Good luck to you!

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wow, 40and sleeven, i totally agree with you, at my last support group there was a lady who was at her goal weight and was saying how she used to be a

"right big fat cow" ouch that really hurt, sitting listening to that at 280lbs made me shrink down into my chair, but then i thought, well that is just her, we are all different and i know that when i reach goal and i see someone that is the weight i was, i will want to tell them how they can change their life with wls and encourage them to see their doctor.

My husband shocked me last month, he jokingly said to me

"so am i going to be married to a dolly bird" ouch, we have been married 38 years this november, i got married veryyyyyyyyy young was just 18, but i know that he has constantly loved me whatever weight i have been and he was just having fun with me, and then i told him he had better watch out because im a bit younger than him and he will have to shape up for his dolly bird of a wife, lol, makes me smile, it is 30 years since i could have been described as a dolly bird, lol.

Men think differently to us, i think your fiance was just trying to encourage you, best wishes, Janet. x

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