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Three Weeks Out...

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phoenixgen2

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blogs/blog-0647084001343852109.jpgI had my surgery on July 10th. I had three full weeks of thin and thick liquids and am moving into the pureed stage (FINALLY). For me the physical aspect of the surgery has been going very well. I am healing great, my surgical glue and scabs have all fallen off and I am starting vitamin E oil to minimize the scarring. I do have some problems in the morning. I am tired, a bit turned off of eating or drinking anything, and feel yucky overall. I have been told that it is my body adjusting to my new smaller stomach and that it will pass. I did feel better this morning than I have in the past week and a half.

My biggest struggle is the emotional rollercoaster that followed the surgery. The day after I was released I was sent to the emergency room with as it turns out...severe panic attacks. I only found this out after 18 hours in ER and another trip via ambulance the next day. Three weeks out and I still have mild panic attacks, but they get better each day. Xanax helps a lot. I went from taking 3 a day when first diagnosed to just one a day (yeah me!).

The other side of this for me was the sadness and depression. I was depressed before my surgery due to the emotional trauma of being obese, but after the surgery I started to have depression spirals...bad ones. I would cry several times a day, I couldn't think positive to save my life. I went to both my doctor and a psychologist and they said that emotional turbulence is normal the first couple of weeks to a couple of months. Part of it is due to the fact that I just hit my life physically and emotionally with a big Mack truck, my relationship to food which had been a security blanket to me had changed, and as fat is consumed by the body the stores of estrogen in the fat is released causing more moodiness.

The biggest hurtle I have faced is dealing with "buyer’s remorse". Knowing that my life will NEVER be the same again can be very scary, but I know in the end it will be wonderful. I just have to get past what I am calling "hell weeks" After upping my antidepressants a little bit; I am getting better at focusing on all the benefits that are heading my way as a result of the surgery. It will be a long road, but I know that the emotional turmoil is perfectly normal, and above all...temporary. I just take it one day at a time.

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I like how you explained it as your relationship to food. I find myself feeling loss of a relationship and sadness and I haven't had surgery yet! I keep thinking about events where food was the center and how I will no longer enjoy those events. I'm trying to give myself talks about the things I will be able to do instead. It's definately tough.

Thank you for such an honest and personal share.

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I like how you explained it as your relationship to food. I find myself feeling loss of a relationship and sadness and I haven't had surgery yet! I keep thinking about events where food was the center and how I will no longer enjoy those events. I'm trying to give myself talks about the things I will be able to do instead. It's definately tough.

Thank you for such an honest and personal share.

You will be able to enjoy those events again. You will be able to go out for dinner with friends and family and still have a wonderful time. My biggest fear what thinking that I would never enjoy wonderful holiday meals or birthday cake, or sushi ***ht, etc again, but I realized that I will. I can still eat those things, just in much smaller portions. If anything I think it will make me savor and appreciate the food that much more and be able to focus on the people around me at these times.

Just remember that it is not about the food that you eat, but the company you keep.

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