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Ate My Emotions - Now What?

I was talking about this in private to a very nice member, and thought I might get some good advice here too... I'm not looking for sympathy, just help ... what have others done when food is no longer there to handle your grief?? I also dont have much local support, so I know that being with friends, etc. would be the best way, but I've been shunned by so many since i gained the weight :(

Most of my life, I was the thin, healthy, active, pretty one, cheerleader in high school, modeled and sang in a rock band in college, etc... you know, the sterotypical snob. Then life blasted me with more than i could handle when my boyfriend was killed...and my best friend disappeared (found out she was abducted when her only her skull was found) and went from 140 to 240 what seemed overnight. Then... my dad committed suicide last May, my sister died a week after that.. and the only way I knew how to handle that was eat. I'm now 300lbs, gaining another 60lbs in a year. My dad had the lap-band (same scenerio, always thin until he started eating his emotions).. he lost 50 then gained more back (again, emotions). This is part of what led him to do what he did. I have no doubt I can do this... I have my son here for support (he's 14), and my dad driving me spiritually. I'm doing this for them as much as for me.

My biggest worry now as far as the surgery itself is finding new ways to deal with life and death....

4 Comments

Recommended Comments

Lissa

LAP-BAND Patients

You need a therapist. Knowing what drives you to eat is good, but a therapist will help you understand WHY you chose eating as your drug of choice...and help keep you from developing crossover addictions.

I see a therapist to deal with my issues with food. I, like you, ate my emotions because I didn't have another outlet. Some of my "friends" don't like the changes in how I deal with things now, but that is their problem, not mine. If being friends with someone requires that I accept being treated like crap, then I don't need that "friendship".

Hopefully you can find a good bariatric therapist, but any therapist is better than none for these issues.

Vicki147

Gastric Sleeve Patients

I am a psychologist and I agree. There is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help. Support online is good for physcial symptoms, but if you are battling serious emotional problems you should seek help. Believe me, I know what you are going through.

Lyra

Gastric Sleeve Patients

Like they said above, a therapist will help, but have you also thought about volunteering? I like to volunteer at a no-kill animal shelter because it not only lets me meet new people, but also feel good about giving something back. Also, cuddling with lots of animals will make anyone feel better! Also you could try Meetup.com and find local groups that may enjoy the same things you like. There's all sorts of groups; climbing, kayaking, arts/crafts, movie groups, etc. It's really cool and it's been a lifeline to me when I've moved to a new place. Do you like art? Most areas have art centers where you can learn to work with a variety of mediums. Maybe finding new fun things to do will help you find new friends, and perhaps lift your spirits. Good luck and keep us posted!

RainyGirl

LAP-BAND Patients

Thank you for your support... all of you. Funny thing is... I am a therapist. I work with behaviorally challenged teens.. so a different kind, yes. And you're right.. I used to talk to one and just kind of faded off. I know I should find another one... sooner than later. Surgery is scheduled for July 17. Thanks again!

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