I feel like I have been holding my breath for the last month. I consulted my surgeon in March and had my first nutrition and psych visit a week later. This week was my second visit with this dynamic duo and I suddenly realized I had been holding my breath for the last month.

The counselor gave me a seemingly insurmountable amount of papers to complete. It kind of reminded me of my first house purchase. As I began to delve into it, I was little by little feeling like someone was peeling away the layers of my sacred onion. We all have one you know. The layers that we hold so dear that if someone were to peel them away we would suddenly feel exposed and naked, and trust me, this body naked ain't pretty. I held onto the packet for a week to think about my answers, took a deep breath and turned them in.

The nutritionist gave me a 1000 calorie diet to follow. HA HA HA HA HA HA! I was laughing hysterically on the inside, but gave him a sweet smile and a nod on the outside and told him I would see him next month. He forgot to weigh me, so I really felt like I had gotten away with something.

Well, fast forward one month and it was already time for my second visit with the dynamic duo. The nutritionist was very forgiving and encouraging. We talked about ways take in fewer calories and vitamins to start. OK that wasn't so bad. Oh and he weighed me. He called my surgeons office for a starting weight and I was up 1 pound from last month, which he was very encouraged about. HA HA HA HA! My word, he is such a comedian, he should quit his day job.

He sent me back out to the waiting room to continue holding my breath until it was my turn to meet with the counselor. I honestly felt like I was going to pass out. I sat there feeling all exposed and naked. I was convinced that the people in the front office knew my every weakness. Soon my turn was up. The sweet little counselor called my name and after we got our greetings and niceties out of the way, she started leafing through my paperwork. After a short discussion, I sudden found myself breathing again but I wasn't sure why. Say what? I was afraid to ask her to repeat what she had just said, but as she was handing me a piece of paper to sign, she said, "I think you will do very well!" I was doing a happy dance on the inside and taking a deep breath on the outside. I felt like I had just made the Dean's List!!

I am 51 years old and have been overweight since I was 9. I am just under 5 feet tall, which hasn't changed much since I was 12 but my weight certainly has. Of course I have had some temporary successes at losing weight but it has literally been an up hill battle most of my life. I first recognized that I was overweight at 9 years old, when my favorite dress no longer fit around the waist. At 12 I weighed 122, by the time I was a senior in high school I weighed 175. I hit 200 at 20 and 260 when I married at 27. Now, 25 years later I am at 335! But I know that the approval from the counselor is the beginning to a new life where I will be able to walk better, be active and BREATH!!!