Why Can't We Pay With Chickens? Or A Goat?

So I recently switched insurance companies to one that will approve my surgery...as long as I have a paper proving that I had another insurance UP TO the day that my new insurance starts. Basically that little sheet of paper means that there is no pre-existing clause to my new insurance and PRESTO approval for the VSG. I've had the insurance guys swear on all they hold dear that this is so. No problem, right? WRONG. My 'old' insurance is about to feel what my boot up it's derriere feels like. I cancelled my old insurance and dated it the day before my new insurance picked up. Well, three weeks later their system FINALLY updated and they said they would send me my Proof Of Insurance paper....dated at the end of this month. I don't need the cancellation to be at at the end of this month, I need it to say at the end of LAST month because I've gone to doctors this month and said that my insurance was Insurance B. If I had 2 insurance coverages for the last month that means I have to go back to all these doctors and submit paperwork showing that I had primary AND secondary insurance for them to bill. So sayeth the law. Now, I'm tickled all shades of pink that I finally have this magical document, but I am less than thrilled that I will have to traipse across the city to different doctors to submit another insurance for them to bill that I dont even have anymore. Especially as my 'old' insurance was crap and basically laughed in the face of medical claims and would just punt the claims to my new insurance.

Seriously, WHY can't we go back to the way that it used to be and just pay the doctors in chickens? How about a goat? I'm a cake decorator and I'll trade wedding, holiday, anniverary, birthday, and divorce cakes for surgery! Pretty please?