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Reality is.......



It was hard to face reality a year and a half ago, they I was just shy of 250 lbs and had to do something to stop it before I hit 300.


The first year I must say was the honeymoon period with my band. I felt like I hardly had to work at losing weight, it just fell off. It was wonderful and exciting. Then bang- my one year aniversary hit and my weight loss came to a streeching halt- the band's fault- nope mine.


The first year, was easy because my weight was high and I was eating far less that what it takes to keep that weight. I couldn't eat as much as normal- so I lost weight. As the weight came off, I hit the titration point- I had finally lost down to the amount that my eating was matched.


Now, I have to face reality, I can keep going with what I am doing and stay in the same zone. I can, make changes- eat even less and or add exercise. The thing is, at this point, it's not going to be so easy. Now I must really work at it. I, also, must deal with weakness in myself, that I never really got rid of. Stress makes me want to eat. Last night as I lay watching TV with the hubs (Ziva's last episode on NCIS) I started thing, boy I want a snack. The thing was I wasn't hungry. I didn't need to eat anything. However, I gave into the weakness and went and got a bowl of ice cream. It slapped me in the head as I sat the empty bowl down in the sink, that I had just done something I would have done pre-band. That was not good- I have to nip that in the bud now. Will it be easy, no, but I must do it to maintain and to further succeed on my journey.


I know what I must do, I know what I need to do, yet I have not done it for months. Now, it's time to pull on the big girl panties and make some difficult choices and changes. It's time to face the music, because the reality it, if I go back to old way I will gain back all I have lost. The reality is I must, for my health, for my future, for my peace of mind- I must make these changes.


Is it my band failing me, no, it is myself and my human weakness trying the make me fail. But, here is the thing- I have the power to stop it, to change it, to change it now before it goes to far. Yeah, I may have lost even more if I would have gone with the sleeve or bypass, but I likely would have run into the same stumbling block at some point.


I hope I can do this!


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You can TOTALLY do this!! And fyi- you are NOT failing!! You've managed to maintain your weight despite life handing you a big plate of stress and you've done it for months. That isn't failing, that's a huge accomplishment and something to be proud of.

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Was last night ice cream night? I sent my husband out for soft serve. They didn't have the flavor I like so instead he brought home wonderful mint chocolate chip, hard ice cream. No one told me to eat it. I was bad.

Today is a new day. We can all do it. I am not as bad as I was, having a lot of ice cream every night.

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Thanks ladies. I had some homemade icecream left from a family reunion on Saturday. I love my homemade vanilla. I was good only one snack today- small meals and tried to listen to my body - drink when I'm not sure if it's hunger or not- eat only when really hungry. Thankfully I was able to keep my sugar in control today!! Starting to feel a little better and controlling my sugar better, by being careful to eat more protein and few carbs.

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Hi Kime-lou, I love the title of your post -- so powerful to be in reality vs. the land of fog or pretend. You are doing beautifully -- THAT is the reality. Thanks for a great post. Sugar is such a tough one. I am pre-band and currently outlawing some foods in order to get weight off before the surgery. Once banded I hope to not have that on/off or dieter's mentality but to be able to have a bit of something once in a blue moon. Ice cream, however, appears to be a no-no in my world. Just too easy to say yes, yes!

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