Life...

I'm finding it harder & harder to stay 100% focused these days. I don't have that same "gusto" I used to have. I used to log on almost every day, and track my food daily. I logged my food for almost 105 days in a row... and no, nothing in the last week or so. I feel disappointed in myself, and out of sorts.

I go to my parents house almost every single day, check their mail, make sure Dad has his meds filled, do their grocery shopping, then take mom to get her hair done every Saturday. That part makes me smile. I don't mean to complain at all as I"m thankful to have them around. They will be 87 & 85 in a week. I have to admit it's a bit exhausting, and I don't have much in the way of energy left to focus where I need to : ME!

I know I talked about this during my last post & I thought I could re-focus, but I'm almost at a lost. It's not that I'm over-eating, but I may as well be because I'm not eating as healthy & therefore just maintaining. I'm not even 'regular' (TMI, sorry). I I know it's my own doing, but I'm having a hard time with things.

My dad's health affects my own mood. If he's doing well, I'm doing OK. If he's doing poorly, I get a little sad & don't focus. Why is it so stinkin; easy to go back to old habits? He has so many ups & downs. How do you deal with a parent dying of cancer? My dad's so strong too. The last few days he's been feeling better due to steroids he's on, in addition to all the other meds he's on. He still has energy so he's not bed-ridden. But my God, how do you stay focused with this **** going on?

I have my 6 month follow up apt on March 11th (a month late), so I think I will ask for a small fill. Again, I'm not over-eating, and I may have lost 3 or 4 ponds in the last 4-6 weeks, but I'm not eating healthy or even working out. I want my focus back.