Today's A-Ha Moment

The reason I've become obsessed with my weight loss and excercise is because it's the only thing I can control in my life.....

For example:

I rent, instead of signing a lease for another year in February, because I was SOOOO optimistic that my dbf and I were going to be moving in together this year (more on that later) I told my landlords that I wanted to go month to month. Literally at any notice I have 60 days to move. They wouldn't do that, they love me, they always stop and visit (in a good way) and were actually upset when they found that I eventually may move lol.

My job: I've been working for the same company for 5 years, it's a large hospital it is in the process of buying another hospital in the same city, so my job is stable. In this economy though you never know if today is your last day at work.....

My relationship with dbf: things have been good, but he has his issues, mainly his mother and his roommate are holding him back from moving forward. Basically his mother is a financial drain to him and his excuse is "well she has cancer" not for nothing I know tons of people that have cancer, had cancer, died from cancer that worked, and had productive lives. Sure, they had bad days, and really bad days and downright s****y days, but they never asked anyone for anything. This woman just asked her son (my dbf) for 2000.00 to fix her car because she didn't pass emissions LAST YEAR! If it was me, I would've taken the car from her and told her to take the bus or ask me for a ride, but of course he didn't do that, he gave her the money. His roommate is a point blank b***h and the only reason she keeps him there is so that her dirtbag boyfriend doesn't have to pay half of the mortgage that my dbf does now. So as you can see there's no real true future with us when he has a mother to support and a troll under the bridge roommate. So basically this vacation away from him when I'm in Florida is going to be a love it or leave it decision with him and I and we shall see what happens.

So as you can see, I've been a little annoyed today. But, you know what I'm going to do with this negative energy? I'm going to work the mutha effer out at the gym because for me going to the gym angry motivates me.

I would like to end this on a positive note though it's beautiful and sunny out and I'm glad that I woke up alive!