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They Say Old Lovers Can be Good Friends?

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Cingulus

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I was reading a thread today by Arnaz…asking if we missed food. One of the responders made a great point about the answer will probably vary a great deal based on where you are in the Lapband journey. As many of you will note most of my blogs reference books, movies and songs. Earlier last year, I wrote a blog entitled, “Food…I Want a Divorce!” I was angry at myself and food. As I read the thread I was reminded of an old song from the 70’s by a guy named Paul Davis, I Go Crazy… that had the immortal words, “…they say old lovers can be good friends…” this kind how I view my relationship with food now.

 

Food is no longer a lover that can be indulged with unbridled passion. I must keep some distance and boundaries. It is not to say that on occasion I don’t feel a twinge of desire and remorse, but it is fleeting and not filled with true regret. Under the heading of be careful what you ask for…The LapBand is making sure I now have a friendly relationship with food, not an amorous one. I am working with food in ways my intellect always told me I should, but my heart failed to let me execute. It would be safe to say, that food is a lover I/we thought to be secret and sought out in private, but our affair with it was displayed in public on our bodies.

 

So in this case do I think my old lover can be a good friend? The answer has to be an emphatic Yes! If we don’t find a way to bridge that gap we will all surely fail. Food is like the child(ren) in a divorce. Regardless of your other feelings, you have to suck it up and find a way to get along so you don’t hurt the people you love and those that have supported you through this process. It will be very, very hard at first, but with a little patience and practice the balance can be found because food is never going away. You have to build a new friendship with your old lover.

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I was reading a thread today by Arnaz…asking if we missed food. One of the responders made a great point about the answer will probably vary a great deal based on where you are in the Lapband journey. As many of you will note most of my blogs reference books, movies and songs. Earlier last year, I wrote a blog entitled, “Food…I Want a Divorce!” I was angry at myself and food. As I read the thread I was reminded of an old song from the 70’s by a guy named Paul Davis, I Go Crazy… that had the immortal words, “…they say old lovers can be good friends…” this kind how I view my relationship with food now.

Food is no longer a lover that can be indulged with unbridled passion. I must keep some distance and boundaries. It is not to say that on occasion I don’t feel a twinge of desire and remorse, but it is fleeting and not filled with true regret. Under the heading of be careful what you ask for…The LapBand is making sure I now have a friendly relationship with food, not an amorous one. I am working with food in ways my intellect always told me I should, but my heart failed to let me execute. It would be safe to say, that food is a lover I/we thought to be secret and sought out in private, but our affair with it was displayed in public on our bodies.

So in this case do I think my old lover can be a good friend? The answer has to be an emphatic Yes! If we don’t find a way to bridge that gap we will all surely fail. Food is like the child(ren) in a divorce. Regardless of your other feelings, you have to suck it up and find a way to get along so you don’t hurt the people you love and those that have supported you through this process. It will be very, very hard at first, but with a little patience and practice the balance can be found because food is never going away. You have to build a new friendship with your old lover.

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WOW...I am speechless. This is so well stated. Thank you for share this with all of us. And as I get closer to my surgery date and throughout my journey I will remember what you have stated here.

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Yes, really well-put. I think the best thing about the band for me is the new empty space in my head previously occupied with obsessive food thoughts! Food is more like a coworker than even a friend now...previously obsessive object of passion. I have to see and deal with her every day but I dont think about her much! Thanks as always for your blog!

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