12/3/09 The Monster Rears Its Ugly Head

Thank you for your insight. Chocolate chips...guilty. I buy them to cook with, then eat them straight from the bag! Anyways, great read.

Oh boy' date=' that was interseting. I am still in that phase where I'm not sure if I will even go through with my surgery or not. I am scheduled for January 4th but I go back and forth every day with myself wandering if this is the right thing to do!! I only need to lose 50 lbs. so I keep beating myself up, wandering just why I can't get control of my eatting and lose it on my own! My first visit with my surgeon, he even told me that he had considered having the surgery then decided to just count carbs and he lost 60 lbs. Why oh why can't I do this too? I have until the 18th to make up my mind, that's when I go to pre-registration.

I have a close friend that is way, way over weight and as I was talking to her today she suggested that she and I just go on low carb the first of the year. My problem with that is even if I do lose, I know just like in my past attempts I would probably gain it back plus more. She probably needs to lose about 200 lbs. and is not even considering LAP-BAND® or anything else. I guess she's just too scared. ( I worry about her all the time) She's always telling me if I have it done she will see how I do and then maybe consider it if I do well.

Sorry to rattle on like this but this decision is driving me crazy, I think about it every waking, and sometime sleeping hour. I never knew it would be this hard to really go through with this.

Thanks for your story, I always enjoy reading your posts.

God Bless[/quote']

Hi,

Me to need to loose 50 pounds, but i can wait to get the band....i dream of wearing nice clothes and not be called "la gorda" which means the fat one in English.

I am looking for a roomate to go to mexico and get the lap band , i don't have insurance!!! Do yo know of anyone interested in getting the lap band in december since on january 11 i have to go back to work? where are u getting the lap band?? thanks, Nuria from Toronto

I've met your monster and am deathly afraid of him. Luckily the band will not allow this to defeat you. I think as time between these attacks get longer and longer they will eventually stop. Not getting enough sleep is a big trigger for me and I'm sure it was a part of your trigger also. Thinking back "before the band" I remember so many, many, many days like that, just eating and eating, never being satisfied and then hating myself. Yay for the band, we are released from that nightmare!

Oh yeah, one more thing, chocolate chips - yes I've eaten a lot of them!

Hi BG, I'm Keeping you in my thoughts. Now that is a tough couple of days. I seem to keep getting tighter and I do not know why? Has that ever happened to you? Every once in a while I can consume very good choices of food and a rather large amount of it with NO PROBLEMS. But most of the time I just feel tight and need to eat slow and not eat and swallow to fast. I know that the nurse said at my last fill (over a month ago, my third fill) I will be getting to the right amount of fill soon and I would know it because I will feel it. I just feel full all the time. Now for taming the mysterious monster I fear when I make the wrong choices because it does make me so uncomfortable thats for sure. I am enjoying learning to play with my band and I always learn from you. Thanks you so much. Love imaluckydog Kathy

Thank you for posting that very well written story. You described the MOnster so well.

Oh BG I am so sorry that you are having this problem. Does your monster have a brother, because I think he has been at my house! Ever since my "emergency" unfill I have been able to eat anything and everything!!! Gained 5 pounds in the process!!! I NEED A FILL!!!!! I hate it when you walk around nibbling on everything trying to satisfy that stinking monster!!