I am not happy :(

I am at 34 pounds but going insane... I know women have this time of the month and I have to have more self control than normal but it does not matter I still gained.. 2 POUNDS! yeah I know that is nothing.. but between my emotions and the stress of the economy it makes things worse.. I gain then I lose I gain then I lose half this month I am going insane and then I am ok but it is a huge rolar coaster... I want to get down 100 pounds so the doctor can see about getting me pregnant.. I think that is what is killing me the most. So yes me getting my monthly about the same time each month is actually a good good thing because I have had problems... SEE WHAT I MEAN?? how can I keep my emotions stable? I would love to lose 140 to 150 though.. that would be completely fun for me. Especially If I can't get prego.. at least I will finally be thin. I know I am venting/babbling but I just needed to. Thanks for reading/listening to me freak out. I feel better putting this in writing even though I am still emotional and not sure how I feel.. I think I am just going to be more strict with myself to make some habits over the next month and see if that helps me to lose a little faster. I know I can and still be healthy. I mean 12 to 15 a month would be nice... oh and I am so crabby today too :glare: :mad::thumbdown::frown::eek::confused::sad: