I'm a Misfit Amongst Misfits

I have been reading other people's blogs and am happy for every single one of you who have posted pictures of you rafting, hiking or cycling yourselves to a new you. I'm also incredibly jealous because that will never be me. The spirit is more than willing, but the body just isn't able. For sure I'm going to be able to do more things than I have been able in years but my success will be more moderate: I will be able to walk to the store two days in a row. I will be able to walk two days in a row. :biggrin:

What I find frustrating is the people at the clinic don't seem to get it. I appear to be a misfit among the misfits of society. I keep being assured that my life will change so much, which I don't doubt, but I wonder if they have any clue of what my life is like? Will the band magically let me hold a pencil long enough to write a letter? Will I be able to play my violin or harp again?

The psych lady I met yesterday was all impressed how I seemed to know my body much better than the average person and that learning the rules of the band would be a breeze for me. The truth is that for years, one small lapse in thought and I've popped something in my mouth that will lead to hours of gut wrenching pain or my eyes swelling shut. Push myself too hard and I'm bedridden for days. She seemed really nice and wanting to help while we chatted for our 35 minute hour, but she specialises in anorexia, bulemia and overeating... I wonder if she knows much about people who've grown old before their time. Then again, it was the first session... I'm hoping that a few more sessions will get us all on the same page.

I'm really looking forward to working with the chiropractor they have on staff. Ontario's major failing in health care is that if it can't find something specifically wrong, it won't fix it or expend the energy to see what can be done for you. When one of the foremost rhumatologists in Toronto tells you "wow, your life must suck, but there's nothing I can do about it" you tend to lose heart. I've not been able to afford private physiotherapy, massage therapy or the chiropractic care I probably could use, so I've gone without. I didn't want to risk getting addicted to a therapy I couldn't do long term. How dumb is that? So apparently for the next year or so I'm being offered unlimited access to this guy. After me, they may want to revise that policy.

Usually I'm not so much of a whiner... I promise I'll be more upbeat next time. In the meantime, keep posting the canoeing pictures. Even though I can't do it myself, that doesn't mean I don't like seeing others have fun.:sad: