211 Pound "Skinny-Minnie"

My husband called me "skinny" yesterday. Unbelievable! This is from a man who can consume 3000 calories per day, and still weighs less than he did as a high school athlete - and he's 51. That compliment was worth all the struggle. Never thought I would feel skinny, but I'm starting to. It's wonderful to not have fat rolls on my tummy; to not have "chub-rub" on the thighs; to not think about how to camoflauge my fat every day. And, hopefully, it'll get better yet.

My mom is doing poorly. She has breast cancer which has spread everywhere, and very rapidly. I doubt we'll even get to the point where treatment is an option. I can't believe I'm even saying that. It is just so sudden, and I'm just not ready. It is so hard to see my independent mom lose her vision from a tumor, be unable to walk unassisted, unable to shower unassisted, and all those little things we take for granted. I am the only daughter, with three brothers, and I'm an RN - so the majority of decisions and medical appointments are left for me. I want to be the daughter and not the nurse. Are we ever ready to lose our mothers??? How do I come to terms with this?

I am sorry to hear of you heartache! I know for me when I lost my mother after she battled Alzheimer’s for years I was ready for her to have comfort and peace. To go home and be with our loved ones. She deserved that. I guess I got to that point...But I was also able to be the daughter. I can't imagine being the lead in the situation. Bless you. I will keep you in my prayers and congrats on your achievement with your weight loss!!

lauraq,

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers - and your Mom as well. It is doubly hard being both the caregiver and family member at the same time - damned near impossible actually. When my father-in-law was dying, the visiting nurse called me at work to tell me that he was beginning to exhibit Cheyne-Stokes respirations...I immediately took a leave of absence and stayed home to care for him...they lived downstairs from us so it was easy. But the difficult part was being both the dutiful "daughter" - as they had no daughters and regarded me as such, AND the caregiver. Also as an RN, the visiting nurses sort of backed away once I took a leave to basically do 24/7 care for him...also they recommended that my mother-in-law change him over to Hospice so she'd get more support services...BIG Mistake for our situation...they came in on a Thursday to evaluate him...and the next time we saw a Hospice nurse was the following Monday after I called them to come and pronounce - (I have pronounced many, many people in my career, but was not allowed to technically pronounce my family) so they had to come out for that.

Because he was in transition from one "agency" to another - there was a gap in services - NOT more services. When I called them to request a member of the clergy come out to offer spiritual support...they said they couldn't get anyone on a SUNDAY...I didn't think they had days off! So ...I called a close friend (also a nurse), whose husband is a minister and begged her to send him. Even after having been away at a youth conference all weekend, Tim changed into his "preacher" clothes and came to pray and stayed with us for hours! even though I'm sure he was exhausted from his weekend with a bunch of rowdy kids!

So....all that being said - you are doing what you need to do...but please don't hesitate to ask for help ...but don't wait like I did - because when I did - there was none available. You need to have help from whatever resources are available to you and to your Mom. Don't be afraid to request them.

On your personal weightloss side...you are doing INCREDIBLE!!!! Keep up the great work - your Mom would want you to! You all continue to be in my prayers, Laura.

Good luck and God Bless you. I have tears from reading your post and I will pray for comfort.

I am Thinking of you and your situation. Take care my little band buddy. Thanks for the note you made my day. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Love Kathy imaluckydog

laura- please know you are in my thoughts and prayers....as an occupational therapist i deal with those heavy types of situations all the time, but it is soooooo different when you are the one going through it. take care, get help when needed and- take comfort in the LORD. GOD bless- Leslie (oh and way to go on the weightloss!!!!!!)

Laura,

Please take care! I think of you all the time!