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About this blog

I want to use this blog as a place to vent, share, and journal everything. It may not all be related to my weight loss so just be prepared for ramblings.

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BOUGIE stuffI Just to bookmark this for myself since this asks often

If you haven't seen this, I found this on OH, and think it'll give you an idea of honestly how minimal difference in a 32 and 40 really is.     Just a visual to offer more pictures of how minimal the difference is between the sizes your concerned about.   Here is a fabulous link for bougies. It physically lists every size of bougies, with the millimeter measurements. Scroll to pages 3 and 5 to see the table of reference for bougie sizes. http://www.medovations.com/pdf/Esoph...Dilatation.pdf
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Keep rolling, rolling

I've lost 29lbs, and almost can't believe it. I'm 25% closer to my goal weight, and I actually feel pretty good today. I'm staying hydrated, and trying to keep distracted. I haven't been hungry at all, and that is such a refreshing feeling. I guess after so many years of eating large quantities, not eating, or even being hungry is quite odd. But, I welcome it.   I have errands to run tomorrow, and had planned on doing them earlier. Least to say, procrastination has won. I ended up staying up way too late watching TV, and slept in. But, tonight, I'm going to bed earlier and will get up and get things accomplished.   Caysen will be home in 4 days. It feels like an eternity since I've seen him when in reality it's only been 3 weeks. It's been the longest 3 weeks, and I'll be so happy to have him home with me.   I can't wait for July to get here. 3 months until the husband comes home, we're both so excited, and I'm really excited for him to see me for the first time.   Hope everyone else out there doing well. . .
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Ummmmmmmm what size is that shirt? ? ?

Why yes, dear Tiffany, it is a MEDIUM ! ! !   I never thought this day would get here, but I am absolutely elated. I love the sleeve, I love my results, I absolutely love everything about this experience.   I also dropped a size in jeans, and am now in size 14. Some of the lowrise jeans I can't get to fit me comfortable because of my tummy, but I went ahead and bought them because I'll be in them soon enough.   My 16s are so baggy in the thighs and hiney that I actually think they make me look bigger than I actually am, and it kind of bothers me. Okay, it bothers me a lot.   I attended our monthly Spouse's club luncheon today, and sat with one of my new friends. She, of course, asked me why I wasn't eating much, and why I was moving my food around on my plate. Plus, I pretty much just played with the dessert on my plate. Anyways, I told her that I had surgery, and she said "are you serious, you look amazing, and I would of never guessed that you had surgery, how much have you lost, you can't weigh more than 140lbs." I told her I'd lost about 95lbs since June, and had 18lbs to lose before getting to goal. She said something along the lines of ' ummm you look great the way you are, you're going to be rail thin if you lose another 18lbs." It felt great for someone that I just recently got to know to make such great, and positive comments regarding my surgery. She's rail thin, like maybe 115lbs, and she is super sweet. I really like her, unfortunately her husband has orders and they'll be relocating in February.   Anyways, today was a great day. I purchased some college football tickets for myself and John for his favorite team the West Virginia Mountaineers. The game is the day after Thanksgiving, and we'll be driving about 4 hours to get to the game, but it'll be so worth it. He's always wanted to go to a home game, and just never could. So, I surprised him with tickets today. He is so excited, and so am I. Oh yeah, we'll be out of town next week starting on Monday the 23rd through Sunday the 29th. We're visiting John's family, and I won't have internet access at all. We don't even phone service because of how "deep" into the mountains they live. If we get out and about, I'll try to check in, but for the most part I'll be out of pocket for that week.   I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'll be packing, and getting everything ready for our trip.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

2
 

Sleeve research links, dietary guidelines etc

LapSF Two Year Study LapSF Five Year Study - abstract only LapSF Five Year Study - presentation (requires Windows to play) Literature review on the sleeve - requires $$ to get the full text unfortunately Sleeve best for over 50 crowd Video of a sleeve with lots of education discussion Video of a sleeve that is more about the operation Ghrelin levels after RnY and sleeve Ghrelin levels after band and sleeve Diabetes resolution in RnY vs. Sleeve Comparison of band to sleeve - literature review   http://www.iabsobesitysurgery.com/Media/Forms/SleeveDietGuide.pdf   http://www.cornellweightlosssurgery.org/pdf/dietary_guidelines_sleeve_gastrectomy.pdf   Some of this is outdated, but some of it is great information: http://www.sleeveguide.com/   http://www.ssat.com/cgi-bin/abstracts/08ddw/O4.cgi   http://www.hopkinsbayview.org/bin/c/a/nutrition_sleeve.pdf   Eglin surgeons use small bougies so this is just for informational purposes: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18098398?ordinalpos=4&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DefaultReportPanel     http://www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/ASMBS/20937   http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2791490/vertical_sleeve_gastrectomy_pg2.html?cat=5     5 year post-op stats http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20094819?itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum&ordinalpos=1   http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20338286
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Not too much going on

But, I'm so grateful that school is back in session and that John has returned to work. I enjoy my "me" time far too much, and 2 weeks at home with both them was a lot to handle.   I started back at the gym this week. Plus, bowling started again on Wednesday. I had such a good time, and then went out to lunch with a girlfriend. That didn't go over so well. We ventured to Sonic, and I ordered a corny dog and cheese fries. My body no longer likes greasy food. I was uncomfortable all day after lunch, and just felt horrible. I didn't eat but 2 little bites of the breading of the corn dog, and the hot dog on the inside. Then, I only had like 5-7 fries with a little cheese. So, no more greasy food for me.   I also keep losing/gaining this same 1.5lb, and it's really frustrating. I have an appointment with my surgeon soon, and I need to go ahead and make a trip to the lab so I can already have my labs done before I see him. He's already put in the order for the labs. I just have to get down there to have them pulled.   I plan on doing some core/ab work out today, and some leg work. My tummy is shrinking which makes me happy. It's wrinkly, but at least it's shrinking. Tomorrow, I head back to the gym for my last day of strength training for the week. I do 3 days of strength training, 1 day of ab/core workouts, and I bowl on Wednesdays. So, here's to toning up the body that I've been blessed to have after dropping all of this weight.   I'm still smoking, but I'm considering going to my PCP and getting on Zyban (Wellbutrin) to see if will help me quit. All the nicotine supplements aren't working, and I'm super irritable when I try cold turkey.   I really need to quit, but I'm mentally drawn to smoking because honestly I don't want to end up with my head in the fridge.   I find it easier to quit food than cigarettes. I've got the food addiction contained, why am I so scared to give up the nicotine?
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

5
 

First bad experience in months

Yesterday was a great day until I decided to try a sliver of German Chocolate cake that I made the day before.   When I say sliver, I mean thinner than my pinky finger in width. It was tiny, but 10 minutes after eating it, I knew I was in trouble.   I felt horrible, lethargic, and I could not get comfortable. I literally felt the gas building in my intestines. I was absolutely miserable. I decided to crash early, but as soon as I laid down, I was back up and on the toilet. It wasn't pleasant to say the least.   I went back to bed, but 10 minutes later I was back in the bathroom. I haven't had days like this since the post-op diet stage of full liquids.   I did finally get to sleep, and slept really great. Least to say, I don't think cake will be on my treat list ever again. It's crazy because I've had a sliver of cheesecake, a few snickers miniatures, with zero ill effects. Maybe the cake was just too rich?
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

First NSV, and an update (parts are repeated)

Caysen has been bugging me for weeks to go have Mexican food at the local dive mexican food joint here. Well, I decided today to venture out and give it a whirl. . . The most exciting part of the meal was when I went to sit down and I didn't have to move the table closer to him to fit in between the seat and table. I almost moved it habitually, then stopped myself and thought to myself "go ahead, try to fit there, no one is looking, if you have to move it then move it" So, as I glided in slowly I realized not only was i going to actually fit, I had a good 8+ inches of space between my belly and the table. I know that sounds crazy, but living my life as fat as I was, moving tables to accomodate my size or asking for a table because booths were too small was an every outing occurence. It was so embarassing, and degrading, as I sit here almost in tears, I am so grateful to have my life back, and to not have to move the table anymore is such a great accomplishment. I don't care how much weight I lose, nothing will feel as good as this NSV.   We ordered chicken fajitas for one off the lunch menu, and brought home enough food for another person to eat a fajita. I had 4-5 little strips of chicken with sour cream and salsa. It was by far the best feeling in the world with the booth situation, and I didn't get sick on any of the food.   YIPPEEEEEEE! ! !   We went to the school this afternoon after lunch for the teacher meet-n-greet. He got a fabulous teacher, and I am so excited for him this year. He got Mr. B, and Mr. B is a buff, body builder teacher. He's strict yet fair, and we already talked about Caysen's attitude, and how it's time for Caysen to grow up. He will have homework every night, not in every subject, but 1-2 hours of homework can be expected. I think this year is going to be fabulous. We stopped off and spoke with his gym coach who had already found out who Caysen's primary teacher is this year. He said that Caysen was going to have a good year this year, and while he isn't bothered by Caysen's "smart assness", he can see how it can be distracting in a classroom setting. Caysen is really sarcastic, ummm kind like his mama ha ha ha. I know I need to set the example, but it is just how I am, and truthfully my entire family is the same way. We don't mean it negatively, it's just easier to be sarcastic than it is to be dry and dull. Caysen is always respectful, and minds his manners, but he can be a bit of a smartass.   Day 2 of not smoking is going well. I really want to smoke, but at the same time, I haven't been nauseated today. I almost drove to the corner store, and Caysen touched my arm and said " but mommy, I don't want you sick anymore." I made a u-turn and headed to the house. I have eaten more today than I have in a week, and been able to keep everything down. I'm still only getting in 400-500 calories a day, but it's better than 200. I got a little nauseous right after we ate only because it's hot outside today, and when I get hot, I get icky feeling. The heat pretty much zaps me.     John called this morning, and we were able to talk for 40 minutes. He is so ready to come home. Projected return date is the same so far, but I'm not getting my hopes up. He told me this morning, just be prepared to be flexible and expect delays. He literally made my day today, I was pretty down in the dumps, and he knew exactly what to say. We had a good giggle over my fat roll, it's an inside joke, y'all definitely wouldn't understand it, but lordy it's hilarious. We both had a good giggle, and he told me how much he had missed hearing me laugh. I haven't had a good laugh in months it seems like.   Anyways, August is techincally 2/3 done, just another 10-11 days and then we'll definitely be in the homestretch.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Something that makes me smile ! ! !

A bit of back story.   When John and I met, I was at my heaviest between 265-270. That meant I weighed more than 100 pounds more than he did, and he didn't care. He loved me regardless of my pant size, or what the scale read. I was never one to hide my weight from him even when we were just dating. I wasn't happy at that weight, but I was happy that he loved me for me.   Today, I now weigh about 30lbs less than he does. When he deployed mid-March, I still weighed 100lbs more than he did. He worked out, strength training mainly, and bulked up a bit. I dropped a bunch of weight, and it's like a new found adventure for us. For the first time in my entire life, my husband can carry me. He can hoist my "tiny hiney" (his words) up in his arms, and carry me around the house.   I'll admit, I was still scared of 'hurting' him. But, not anymore ! ! !
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

2
 

Non-Weightloss related

This waiting game is killing me. I missed 5 phone calls from John and Monday, and he's yet to call back to give me an exact homecoming date.   Luckily, I have most of the "to-do list" completed. I have to still buy his new TV, and mow the yard. But, the rest of the housework is done. I know he'll be home sometime next week. I bought the homecoming outfit, I have everything planned EXCEPT for the actual day I can expect him home.   I have been patient through all of this, but this waiting game is started to really unravel me. I'm just so ready for this to be all over and done with. I know I just need to stay busy, and keep my mind occupied. We're so close, and I'm just getting antsy.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Squadron Christmas Party

Last night was our annual squadron Christmas party, and I had a great time.   We enjoyed good laughs, good food, and I enjoyed not 1, but 2 glasses of Kendall Jackson Reisling. I had half before dinner, then ate about 3 bites of prime rib, 3 bites of this stuffed chicken (the chicken was too dry), I had about 4oz of mashed potatoes with gravy, and 3 broccoli florets. I felt fabulous after eating, and no ill effects from the wine. I sipped coffee at the meal, and then finished off the first glass of wine. Not even a buzz feeling, so around 9:30 I decided to have another glass. I didn't ever have any burning, or weird sensations. I felt relaxed, and enjoyed our evening out.   Many of the ladies complimented me on my dress, and I felt so great. One of the guys asked " are you K*****'s wife?" I replied " yes", he said " you look a lot different than you did last year." I giggled and said "yeah, that's what 100lbs gone will do for a girl." He said "well you look great, and I know you had a tough recovery with him gone, but you're a trooper." I felt really fabulous all night. Confident, and outgoing, I didn't feel like I had to hide behind John, or sit at the table all night. I went and mingled with a few of the other spouses, and some of the guys I've met.   Overall, we had a great time.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

This dang root canal has

completely set back my progress with my eating. I am having to eat only mushies, and am just down right angry about it. I should of just had the stupid tooth extracted, but I know the consequences of that decision. BUT, I'm so upset that all my progress of eating better, and more calories has been set back 50 steps with this stupid tooth.   My stomach has been upset for the majority of today. I had diarrhea twice today because of mushy food. Plus, I'm tired of taking Tylenol and Motrin for jaw pain.   I know this is a rant, but I need to post this somewhere. I'm just so passed the point of frustration. I want to eat some meat again, but chewing anything of consistency is absolutely out of the question.   Fingers crossed that tomorrow brings less pain, and I can eat.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Random Update

So, I had my follow up appointment today. Labs looked great, and the final drain has been removed. I talked to him about the nausea and acid reflux type stuff I have been dealing with this last week every time I ate. He prescribed Prilosec, and Zofran for the nausea since the Phenergan was making me so drowsy. I've taken a Zofran and started the Prilosec when I got home, and I feel fabulous. The last pocket that is in my pelvic cavity is shrinking, but the drain was draining anymore so he removed it. He said that the culture wasn't growing anything so my body should absorb the remaining fluid. The culture came back clear for any bacteria, he said something along the lines of "sterile fluid", so I am hoping for the best. He said if it comes back, they will have to get to transrectally. All my fingers and toes are crossed that it goes away. I'm pretty sure "transrectally" is not a pleasant procedure.   For the first time in 2 months, I almost feel normal. I'm hoping that this feeling continues. I've actually been able to eat one of those little packets of colby/cheddar cheese, and I didn't get sick.   John will be home in a couple of months, and he freaked out when I sent him a face picture. He said I didn't look like the same woman. I lost 7 pounds this last week, but I think it's because I couldn't eat hardly anything and everything I ate went right through me.   I'm getting nervous for his return. I look completely different, I've lost 55lbs total and it's going to be so different when he comes home. He's been working out like crazy and gained 25lbs. He sent me a picture, and may I just say, GOOD LORD, he's gotten so "bulky/buff", I don't know a better word for it. We're going to have a great time when he comes home, and it's going to be like falling in love all over again. We're both beyond ready for this deployment to be over. He's 100% homesick, and is really missing us.   Everything else is going well. Caysen starts school in a couple of weeks. I'm going to do a deep cleaning on the house once my energy returns. I'm ready to feel good enough to clean my house.   Hope everyone is doing well ! ! !
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Today was amazing

I went in for my follow up today, and it went great.   3 out of 4 of my goals were achieved.   NO LEAKS ! ! ! YAY YAY   The TPN has been decreased by half.   I started clears.   I still have the drains, but he said that is a precaution because if the drain fluid changes colors/consistency, that could be a sign something is wrong. I go back Wednesday afternoon and if I don't have any fever issues, no abdominal pain, no vomiting, and the drains stay clear, the TPN will be discontinued and he'll pull the line out of my arm.   I was so relieved I cried. He said my new stomach looked good. I got home this afternoon and started sipping water with the Special K protein water packet and it's the best thing stuff in the world. I get a little burpy/gurgly when I drink, but he said that was normal since my stomach hasn't had to work in 3 weeks. It's been an amazing day. I went to Wal-Mart picked up some odds and ends, and least to say that wore me out.   Then, tonight John was able to call, and we actually were able to talk for about 30 minutes. It was so amazing to hear his voice. It's been a week since we were able to actually talk. Their Capt. told them to call their families to let us know they were all okay after yesterday's events over there. He said he was fine, and wasn't close to the bombs. He wouldn't tell me if he was close to them. He doesn't want me to go back to work, and I really don't want to either. After this experience, I don't want to miss my son's stuff anymore. We're fine on money, and he said he'd rather have me home and getting healthy, taking care of the home and Caysen than dealing with all the stress of the agency. I tried being a housewife/stay at home mom before, and I got bored, but I think this time it will be different. My perspective has changed, and I've decided, I'm not going to miss out on events with my child and husband anymore.   Overall, I had a spectacular day, and I hope tomorrow goes smoothly as well.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

The scale

The batteries in my scale are DEAD, and I haven't weighed in 2 days. Of course, this scale can't use just normal batteries. They are those flat, round watch type batteries. I'm a little obsessed with the scale, and don't deny it. This is driving me crazy, as much as I dread going to WalMart, I guess a trip is in order so I can get my scale back up and running.   Deployment is almost over less than 21 days, and I'm getting antsy. I have a hair appointment on the 8th, and nails will follow the next week. Communication is pretty much gone at this point. I know the replacements should be there soon, and it's just so stressful. Projected return dates have changed a couple of times so I'm cautiously optimistic that he'll actually be home before the end of September. I just want it to be over.   Other than that, not a lot going on. I have a mandatory 5th grade parent meeting tonight that I'm not looking forward to attending. Caysen is loving school, and he's doing great.   Hope everyone is doing well.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

It's just one of those days. . .

My phone rang this morning to let me know John's base had been bombed, and that communication was going to be down for several days. She told me to check Yahoo, and right there it was in black and white. My heart just sank, but she reassured me that if John would of been affected, I would of been contacted by now.   It's been a long day already, and think it's dragging on because I'm looking forward to tomorrow so much. I go back to the surgeon tomorrow in hopes of good news for the TPN bag to be decreased. I'm also ready for the jp drains to come out.   The pets are all doing okay. Hank (basset hound) is being needy, but I feel bad because he is used to the kiddo being home. Harley (cat) is being his old, cantankerous self, and Boxster (the turtle) is doing just fine.   On the weight loss front, I haven't lost anything in a couple of days. This stupid TPN is giving me over 1800 calories a day, the first nurses were mistaken when they told me close to 3000 calories. The dietician told me my body needed that many to recover. So, I'm even more hopeful that my surgeon decreases this stuff, and lets me start getting in some liquids. I know it'll be okay in the long run.   I warned y'all it would be rambling. I hope everyone has had a good weekend. . .
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Tomorrow is going to be a good day

Tomorrow, I have 4 goals.   #1 NO LEAKS   #2 Get the TPN decreased   #3 Get jp drains out   #4 Start clear liquids   I'm excited for tomorrow with a little bit of nervousness. I'm ready for the next step in recovery. I've felt good and haven't had any problems this last week. I've made it through the longest 9 days of my life. I remember on Tuesday really feeling down, and I didn't feel like the 22nd was ever going to get here. I'm not looking forward to the ct scan because the last experience on that table was horrible, but it's a necessary evil.   I'll update once I get back home tomorrow afternoon. My mantra for tomorrow is "no leaks, no leaks, no leaks".
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
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