I'm getting close! Monday the 29th is my band day. I spoke to the hospital today and I need to be there at 5:30AM, scheduled for surgery at 8AM. I will spend the night with DD1 the night before because the hospital is an hour away from my home, but only a few minutes from her apartment. DH will come later - he took off from work even though I didn't want him to - I'm afraid he'll overhear how much I weigh. Isn't that crazy?? Even when I was pregnant with our 3 daughters, I didn't want him to know how much I weighed. Everyone elsed seemed so proud of their weight gain, or of their pregnant bodies, but I was ashamed - I remember it like it was yesterday. Not that he isn't able to see...it's just kind of the ultimate humiliation to weigh more (way more!!!) than him.
My doctor ordered a low carb diet for 2 weeks prior. I started a little before that, and she only ordered liquids for the day before. However, I've read so much here and on other sites, that I put myself on a liquid diet this past Monday. So far, I'm doing OK except a little light-headed at work. I hope the liver is nice and small.
I have a convention to go to this weekend with a bunch of teen-age girls, and we'll be eating out the entire weekend. I had to tell a few people about my surgery so they would know what was going on and so that they wouldn't try to get me to eat. They've been very supportive. This weekend will be tough, but the prize is in sight.
I've been reading some other blogs about anxiety and depression...I don't really feel that way, but it seems a little weird to me somehow - like I'm separating myself from the pack...does that make sense? Maybe if I were more comfortable sharing this experience with my co-workers, I would not feel as much like a phony. Does it feel like a cop-out to anyone to see others lose weight without surgery? I know, I've been there and tried it. And I owe it to myself, and I owe no explanations to anyone. There - I said it and I feel better.
I turned 50 this year and I can remember turning 40 saying I didn't want to be 40 and fat. Where did the 10 years go? I have a lot of life left in me - and I'm ready.
I probably will not post until after surgery since my weekend will be full. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the support, for putting yourselves out there, and for being real. I know some folks don't like to read the blogs with complaining or negative thoughts, but for me, this is cathartic; and it's my diary.
Talk to ya'll later. Yes, I'm from Texas!
This is day 7 for me on my preop low carb diet and I've lost 7.7# - not too shabby. Like I mentioned before though, I can't keep it off. But I do feel a little better just with that small weight loss - I'm looking forward to the main event to see how it will make me feel.
I go tomorrow for my pre-op visit. I'm hoping to be scheduled fairly quickly - maybe the next week. I haven't told many people that I work with partly because I don't want to be on exhibit. I have a friend in another department that had the LB done in 11/07 and she has lost 110#. Not an hour goes by that someone doesn't mention it to her. She likes it, but I would be tired of answering all the questions. But that's just me.
I stocked up on some Sugar Free Life Savers last night and had about 3 this AM. Well, the Sorbitol in them acts as a laxative. So I have to go now. Ahem.......:crying:
Today was a good day. I had a little more energy until late this evening. Less shoulder pain...finally. Less soreness overall. I ate soupy mashed potatoes today which tasted amazing, but I was full very quickly. What a concept! I walked 1 mile with my DD2 and friend this evening and could hardly make the last lap. There was a high school summer workout program going on at that time, and I tell you...teenagers don't know how wonderful it is to have those athletic bodies. I wish they could fast forward a few years to motivate them to keep it up. I wish I would have.
I take my mom tomorrow for a physical to look for cancerous lesions on her body to make sure she doesn't have a melanoma. Then Thursday, I have a post op visit and she's having a body scan. I'm praying that maybe all the bad news we heard last week might have some miracle cure. I'm trying to keep my mantra going - "God's grace is sufficient." We can make it through many bad days with the grace of God - I think I am finally realizing that.
Hope all my June 29th band buddies are recovering nicely. Have a good night all.
A lot has happened to me in the past 2 weeks. First of all, my 73 year old aunt was beaten and raped in her home here in our small town, and her assailant stole her car. He has since been captured and the case goes before the grand jury next week. Next, my daughter graduated from the University of Texas. Then my mom got sick and temporarily lost the vision in one of her eyes, and she lives with (and takes care of) my 101 year old grandmother.
In the midst of all this, I have almost overlooked the fact that I AM APPROVED ON MY FIRST TRY WITH BCBS-FEP!!!! I am amazed. So, things are moving rather quickly. I go Wednesday, JUne 3 to get pre-op lab, exercise physiology testing, my nutrition counseling and a psych eval done - all on the same day. I have only told a few people about this. My family is very supportive, but I am soooo nervous. I think once I have the date set, I'll be OK. I think I will start my 2 week diet Wednesday and hopefully have surgery 2 weeks from then.
I'm really worried about my Diet Coke addiction - I'm afarid that's going to be a problem. Any thoughts on that?
I enjoy reading all the blogs and I get tremendous support and reinforcement from them. Now I'll need to "tech-up" and learn how to put a ticker on my blog, and how to upload pictures. I'm just saying, I'm not the brightest computer person. But I am a good nurse!!
Today is one week since my surgery and I'm back to work. I thought for sure everyone would notice something different, but only one person asked me if I had lost weight. Of course, in scrubs it's hard to tell any body-type. Overall, I feel good - just a little shaky today. I was at a meeting at lunch and felt some rumbling in my belly and barely made it to the restroom for my first poopy-do in 5 days. So, that feels amazingly better. I was a fool early in the week with those Gas X strips - I was taking 1 at a time not realizing that I could take up to 4 - that really seemed to help.
My diet consists of soups, puddings - not enough protein - I need to work on that some. My steri strips fell off and the incisions look OK.
On the home front, I'm waiting for an appointment for my mom to have a PET scan to start a metastatic workup, looking for an orgin of the cancer that appears to be in her eye. She is doing well and my daughters are pampering her by fixing her food, cleaning her house, and watching movies with her. We will get through this - God's grace is sufficient.
I hope all my other June 29 lap band buddies are doing well. WE have a lot of work to do, and I look forward to seeing how everyone is doing.
A special thanks to my band buddy "imaluckydog" for being available for me Friday when I was in a low spot. Thank you so much.
And to those of you who have gone before, keep the info coming. Even what might seem trivial to some is "lapped-up" by some of us.
Have a good week.
Today is Day 14 of my pre-op low carb diet, and I've lost 11.1 pounds. I feel great just having the carbs out of my system. I'm not doing so well on stopping the Diet Cokes yet. I'm hoping I can continue to decrease those before the 29th, or I'm in for major withdrawals.
Thanks for all the positive thoughts on the DC weaning. I am down to about 3 -12 ounce bottles now. The weird thing is that as I'm low carbing, the DC is not thirst quenching. So, that helps.
We had a graduation party for my niece last night and I did ok, or so I thought.....I had fajita meat, cheese, guacamole and the best cucumber salad I've ever had. Until, I found out it was so good because my sister-in-law "forgot" to tell me she made it with sugar instead of Splenda. (She never uses sugar, so not sure what happened there).:sad: I did avoid the chocolate cake, and did pretty well otherwise. Hopefully when I go in for my appointment on Thursday, I'll get to set a date for surgery.
One other question - has anyone heard much about how frequently surgery is cancelled once they get in due to a fatty liver? My doctor had a case last week where the nurse said the liver was so fatty, it would have been dangerous to proceed, so they stopped. Now the patient has to diet for 6 more months before it will be attempted again. I guess I'm afraid of that because I have metabolic syndrome with elevated tryglycerides. Just wonderin....
I go tomorrow for lab, EKG, chest x-ray; visit with anesthesia; visit with exercise physiologist; visit with psychologist; visit with nutritionist - a busy day. I'm so grateful to get it all done on the same day. My BCBS plan has been wonderful and will pay all of the diagnostic testing and all but $50 of the surgery. I should have done this a long time ago.
Does anyone know what the exercise physiologist will do?
I'm so excited! My surgery date is Monday, June 29 at 8AM. If all goes well, I can go home that afternoon. I'm nervous, excited, a little melancholy - all at the same time. I guess it is normal to feel sad about giving up my best friend...FOOD.
I've lost 8 pounds on my low carb diet and really feel very well. I have so much more energy when the carbs are out of my system. I feel like doing things; have energy; no hunger. I hope this has been good preparation for the LB.