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Unorganized thoughts

Next week I have appointment #1 of the psych eval. I can't say that I'm nervous more curious than anything. I can't help but wonder what kind of questions he will ask me? Will he get deep into my past? Will he have the final say if I can go forward and meet with the doc?   My husband is a calm and cool. I told him how he has to attend appointment #2 with me and he's just like "okay". It's good that he's so calm about this because there are times when I'm bouncing off the walls.   I'm rambling I guess I just have a lot of thoughts going through my head and really don't know how to express them. From what I've read this can go on after the WLS. I say bring it on! As long as I have this blog I can write about the most mundane things. VIVA LA BLOG! VIVA LA BLOG!
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nervousness, nervousness go away...DON'T come back another day

I'm sitting here in my office and I can't help but think about my upcoming psych eval this afternoon. I can't help but wonder what he'll ask me. What I'll answer. Will he trick me into saying something I don't want to say. Or will he bring up stuff that I've had buried within for years. :thumbup: I know I shouldn't feel this way. His secretary told me what this and my second session will be all about. I know this is just a formality that allows the surgeon and the psych doc to see if I am mentally prepared for what the future will bring once I have this surgery.   I called my hubby last night to tell him that I would call him after my appointment but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Really it is because I already knew what he was going to say...Don't be nervous. You have nothing to worry about. I tell myself that everyday. I overreact about the littlest things sometimes and he is such a rock. Thank GOD for him. You know we have been married WAY too long when I already know what he'll say to questions and statements I may make to him. :crying:
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Mind is made up!

This morning I've decided that I'm going to talk to my doctor about having the lap band done. I've already check with my insurance company and they will cover it so now all I have to do is go visit my doctor and have him put in a referral for me to see a general surgeon. Apparently the general surgeon will have the final say in whether or not I am a good candidate. From what I have read I meet all the qualifications and at my previous appointment my doctor talked about gastric bypass but I really didn't want to have my insides re-routed so I looked into this. I mean I kind of dabbled in it before but I just though I could do it without that sort of help. I know now that this is not a way out of exercising and dieting but a tool to help supplement those good habits. I'm ready and I can't wait to see my doctor to tell him also.
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My Dream

Last night I had the most interesting dream...   I going into surgery. When I got to the OR the doc put me under and when I woke up I was getting into the car with my husband going home. (Apparently I slept through everything! ) We got home and I'm sitting on the couch eating a burger. I kept thinking I shouldn't be eating this but by this time I had eating about half of it. I set it down and got up to go to the kitchen for my pain meds. When I got up I felt like I just had a baby. I was really sore in my stomach area and everything around me was moving in slow motion. Also I could feel like that burger was sitting in a ball in the middle of my chest. When I got to the kitchen my hubby was cooking. I told him I was getting my pain meds and that I should have taken them a while ago since I was in such pain now. Before I took my meds I lifted my shirt and looked at my stomach. I asked my hubby how bad it looked. All I could see were some steri strips on my stomach. Next thing I know I'm at the laundry mat doing my laundry which I thought was weird since I have a washer/dryer at home. We finished our loads and as we went outside to pack the car I started arguing with someone outside. Next thing I know my alarm was going off.   Weird huh? I'm thinking it's my subconcious telling me that I need to make sure I take it easy and not jump to different foods before my time. Or I'm just super excited about being closer to getting my surgery date. Today is my final psych eval and I'm hoping after this I can call the surgeon and make my first appointment with him.
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Waiting Game

I finally got word to my doctor that I wanted him to put in a referral for me to have the Lap Band. I should hear back from him either today or tomorrow if he was able to. For some reason I'm kind of nervous. Not in a bad way through. I guess it's more excitement than anything else. I haven't told my husband what I plan to do yet. I want to meet with the surgeon and make sure that it's a go before I bring it up. I know he would be supportive of it. I just don't know how his initial reaction will be. He's really big on losing weight naturally and doesn't believe in "fad" diets. I know I just have to explain to him that this is not a diet but a tool to help me on my weight loss journey. Once he sees how much this means to me I know he will jump on board. I even talked to my supervisor and told her that I may be having surgery in the near future and she said that I could work from home and just put in a couple hours here at the office during the week that I would need to be off so I can stay in the system. She was really nice about it and very accomodating. I love working under her and for the company. Well here's to waiting by the phone. :thumbup: Actually maybe I should call my insurance company to see if he put in the referral. :thumbup:
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