my surgery is schedule for tuesday dec 15th....

i seriously think im going through a bit of depression.... i'm so super nervous about the surgery! the $$ that i'm spending on it right before xmas......

i feel like ive hit rock bottom... i have no energy no excitement about xmas or the surgery. im scared more than excited. i look in the mirror and am just amazed on the person looking back at me.... who is this person?

i'm always a happy fun loving caring person... but lately all i want to do is sleep and cry.

i think im coming to the realization that surgery is the only way i can become healthy and at a normal weight.... ive know that for the last few months but for some reason its hitting me HARD these few days before surgery.

does anyone else feel like this? or am i just losing my mind?

Don't worry. It's probably your lack of calories compared to what you are used to having. Makes people a little depressed, grouchy and loopy.

Also, you are mourning your relationship with food. It's like a break up from what I'm gathering and feeling. It's like I'm being dumped. I had my nutrition consultation on monday and I was really down all day. I was scared and worried. I was bummed because I knew that my relationship with food was going to change dramaticlly! I was going to "Eat to live, not live to eat". Those words are clinging to me like a second skin, because I *know* I've been doing the opposite.

I suggest for you to explore those feelings but do it while your going for a walk, not in the house or while your driving around because you WILL want to eat those feelings. Go for a walk, sit on a bench and just reflect on your feelings and your relationship with food. Trust me, this will really work. Think about what your afraid of. The only time we're scared is when we're afraid of losing something.

Good luck to you, you can do this!!

I think what you are feeling is fairly normal. Most people have a fear of the unknown which is what this is. Most of us, before surgery, question whether or not we are doing the right thing. It is possible that you will continue to feel horrible for a while after surgery. Surgery and anaesthesia have a major effect on the body, you will be eating very differently to before and if you are a comfort eater your support mechanisms will have been taken away.

It shouldn't take too long though before you start to feel amazing. Losing weight that you struggled to lose previously is an incredibly amazing, addictive feeling. The diet you will be eating will be healthier than prior to the op which should give you a boost.

You will look back and wonder what on earth you were so concerned about.

So I don't think you are losing your mind i think you are perfectly normal. What you are feeling is probably compounded by the fact that it is all happening just before Christmas which in itself is stressful.

All the best - you will soon be on the other side.

i think im coming to the realization that surgery is the only way i can become healthy and at a normal weight.... ive know that for the last few months but for some reason its hitting me HARD these few days before surgery.

This is what hit me, and I had a hard time with it, too. I felt like a failure. Then I decided to look at it differently. Really, this surgery is considered 'elective' by so many people and insurance companies. But really, isn't any surgery technically 'elective'? If you have a heart attack and want to live, you can opt to have heart surgery. If you are clinically obese and want to live, you can opt to have lap-band.

I started to realize that I had a choice to make - either be upset with where I had gotten to weight-wise and continue to be fat and probably die early, or be happy that I had a solution and was opting to do something about it. That started me feeling a bit better about it.

Hang in there - this is as much an emotional journey as a physical one. If they could only band our brains as well!

Amy

My surgery date is 12/16. At First I was excited, now I'm more nervous than anything. I just keep thinking how much better I will feel and look, and I keep thinking about my children who will also benefit from the surgery, by me being around for them. I hope to be around for many years to come, and I feel surgery is the only way at this point. I think about the money too, but what better investment than in yourself! Keep positive thoughts, and think of how much better you will look and feel.

Tis the season! Christmas is prone for depression for normal people. Add to that this surgery you have coming up, and you have a perfect storm.

My only suggestion is to think beyond all of the stuff. Don't look in the mirror to see who you are, close your eyes and imagine who you will be one year from now. Imagine the changes your life has in store for you. In one year you will potentially lose a signifcant amount of weight. Image wearing clothes next year that you would never have dreamed of wearing before. Imagine going into a store and seeing people that you know but they don't even recognize you. Imagine the physical things you will be able to do, the increased energy you will have.

There are so many positive things in store for you. Don't dwell on what you don't have now. Don't worry about what gifts you can't buy people this year. The greatest gift you can give to them is your health. Let them give to you this year, let them give their time, their love, and their support as you heal and begin this journey.

You've made a huge step in scheduling this surgery. Looking back, if I had to do it all again. I would do it in a flash. I know that not everyone can post a success story. I never imagined that mine would be anything but successful and that is how it turned out. You can "think" yourself into failure, or you can "determine" yourself into success. The choice is yours.

Just take a deep breath and smile. I pray that God fills you with incredible joy and hope for the future. If only you could see the beautiful person you are that will be revealed during this journey.

I think Pete had it right...you're mourning the loss of your relationship with food. I felt quite a bit like you about a week before my surgery (11/3). I kept thinking I should try 'just one more time' even though I know from past experience that 'one more time' won't work any better than it did the last time...or the time before that.

Then, when I was just about to cancel my surgery, I had a stray thought that "yippee...this means I can have as much as I wanted of the stuffing and potatoes at Thanksgiving!" I realized in that moment that I was in mourning for that food relationship.

It's now 5 weeks post op and, while I still don't have restriction, there is no doubt that I'm still eating less because I know that when my willpower caves as it has in the past, my band will be there to help me through and put me right back on track.

Keep moving forward. You've made a good decision. Oh and while you're thinking of all the money you're spending on this surgery...think of all the money you'll save on food. Before my band I ate out several times a week to the tune of $300+ per month. So I figure I've saved at least $300 in the last month.

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