Aren't funerals drab and boring? Death is part of life, and no matter how hard it is to face, we all have to face it many times in this short, short time we have here. So why let someone else plan our funeral? Let's document what we want right here, right now.

DeLarla's Funeral Party

-Eclectic Theme (anything goes in Hippy, 80's dance, 70's bad hair.)

-Cremation. Family may want a viewing first, so make sure I get a smile plastered on my face. Lots of pink satin in my coffin. Max's feather in my hand (my deceased Cockatiel.)

-Everyone gets a vial on a red, satin string with a pinch of my ashes mixed with fairy dust (put some glitter in a Magic Bullet and make pretend) for a rearview mirror hanger or Christmas ornament.

-PINK FLOYD, The Wall - very loud. Everyone gets sheet music and acts very dramatic when Pink goes crazy and smashes in the hotel room.

-Everybody must do the River Dance for at least 30 seconds. If you don't know how, fake it.

-Go around, one by one, and say one thing I left behind that will always make you laugh.

-Donate my kibbles n' bits to science before cremation. Especially get my brain to the latest scientists studying Anxiety Disorder.

-Take pictures. I've always loved pictures.

-When it's time for Kitty Milo McSorley Bonekovic, Sachi, and Voodoo to go, all ashes must be saved to be combined with mine and Chris's. Nobody's ashes get scattered till we're all together, then scatter in our favorite places: Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean, Sea of Cortez, Big Bear, Brian Head, the Desert, Disneyland, The Strip... everywhere!

-Cocktails: Preferably Bloody Mary's but if that freaks you go for DeLarla's Toxic Teas.

-Crying is okay, but only happy tears. It's my damn funeral, I get to make the rules.

-NO SUITS, NO ORGANS, but scarves and veils are totally cool as long as they are sparkly or beaded. NO CLOWNS.

- Instead of limos, everyone pile in VW Vans or the backs of pick-ups or Harleys (or all of the above.) Tin cans and condoms, like a wedding.

- Last but not least, please take up a collection and hire a make up girl to show everyone the proper use of lip liner. For men, nose hair clipping techniques.

- Candy bowl with Orange & Black M'nMs.

Gosh -

I sort of figured somebody ELSE would get stuck with the details...

OK.

Cremation - and don't send anything worthwhile into the ovens with me. Give it to somebody who can use it (body parts, hair, clothes, jewelry - whatever)

Maybe a stand up comedian? To make really tasteless jokes about dying that NO ONE can resist laughing about.

Loud Rock and Roll music - with some dancing. Maybe some Floyd, Nirvana & Metallica? Any era from 1965 thru about 1995 works for me.

(I won't specify a particular group or dance - Dang it Lisa - we'll ALL be too old to do the RiverDance - even for 30 seconds!)

I want sort of an Irish Wake - except keeping the body around kind of creeps me out. Once I am no longer inhabiting the premises - burn it, Baby!!

So, like, my picture (preferably one where I look stunningly beautiful) in the corner and all my friends drinking, dancing, laughing and telling stories about me for the whole day.

Send my ashes to the fertilizer factory... I want to make flowers grow up pretty.

Here goes!

Cremation: I better not be buried in some beautifully expensive casket and then put in a concrete cript in the ground. Spread my ashes to the four corners. Better yet, I want my ashes shot up in the sky in a fireworks display.

Music: I want "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce played at my funeral. Then I want all 80's music. Big ole party atmosphere.

Location of funeral: Cruise ship. Take my ashes out to sea light that fireworks and sit back and watch me light up the world. WHOO HOO!!

Libation: LOTS OF IT!!! Hell you are on a cruise ship so enjoy the dang thing.

Entertainment: EVERYONE must dance a Reggae Dance to Celebrate my favorite vacation spot.

Party favors: Those cute little umbrellas you get in drinks that will say, "Keep this handy cause shit will eventually rain on your parade. SMILE!!"

The celebration will last for days. Years even. LOL!!!

A New Orleans durge with legendary musicians in the parade...

All the usuable parts can go to someone who needs them (hopefully by then I'll have lived healthy long enough for them to actually be desired!)

I'd like to be cremated and then have my ashes played out of my trombone. - Actually I don't think that would work in reality...it may end up with someone getting a mouthful of me!

A cool thing I found when my dad passed away a few month ago...it's blown glass with the ashes sprinkled on top then dipped again in the molten glass. Check out www.memoryglass.com .

I'd like to imagine the general mood would be lighthearted with lots of stories being shared.

-Everyone gets a vial on a red, satin string with a pinch of my ashes mixed with fairy dust (put some glitter in a Magic Bullet and make pretend) for a rearview mirror hanger or Christmas ornament.

OW OW OW, OMG, I think I just HURT myself laughing!!! ROTFLMAO!!

:dead

1. Any useful organs are to be donated right away.

2. The rest of my body is to be donated to science. Let them be amazed. lol And no, we don't want anything back. When they're done with me it's up to them to get rid of the remains, if any.

3. Ouija board party. I promise, if able, I will come and spell out amazing and insightful messages. If nothing happens, make up your own amazing, insightful messages. Have a lot to drink. :bandit

4. Anyone just dying to spend money please donate to a no-kill animal shelter in my name.

5. Keep doing the Ouija board thing, at least once a month. I'm sure I'll show up eventually!!

6. Hopefully I'll leave some loved ones behind, and that they'll miss me a little, but smile a lot and laugh at all the goofy remembrances I'll leave behind.

7. Torch my place - please, I don't want anyone to have to go through all that garbage!

8. See you on the other side!!

<3 <3 <3

Bean, I'm getting a little tired of your pushy attitude - you WILL do the River Dance even if it's from a wheelchair or walker. Chair dance. No excuses. And please send me an invite to your party, sounds great! What awesome ideas. Now I'm jealous because I want fireworks and a New Orleans theme and donations to no-kill shelters.

When my list is complete, I'll give it to my life insurance guy and my husband. I think it's a good idea for all of us, right? I don't have a will, and what court is going to argue with a hundred friends on a public website?

I need to add some stuff to make sure Chris isn't left alone. And my fur babies must be kept together if Chris and I go together. They are number 1. Damn, it all makes death so real, so I better go blow a wad of money on Vegas show tickets that I've wanted to see, and I better book that fishing trip to Alaska and that trip to Switzerland. No time to waste!

and I'm just trying to plan a wedding...

Oh, ALL RIGHT - if I can still move my legs, I will dance... but I won't LIKE it. LOL

A CRUISE SHIP with fireworks! Perfect. Lots of loud music in the middle of the ocean with no neighbors to complain. And there can be a jazz parade around the observation deck...

:]

... NO ORGANS, ...

well of course not, you gave them all away! And what you didn't give away, you BBQ'd!

Sheesh

I just want Mel Gibson to read my eulogy :)

My husband and I both want to be cremated. I want 1/2 of my ashes spread on a white rose bush, hubby wants 1/2 of his ashes spread over bristol motor speedway (it's a NASCAR thing) The other 1/2 of each of our remains will be put together along with our wedding rings. We joined the cremation society of Illinois and nobody can change our arrangements for cremation. It also allows our family to have us cremated for around $500. Most states have this type of organization.

For my memorial I want my friends to have really good food, a great wine and some really good jazz music. (a live band is best) I also want my friends and family to take pictures, maybe have a photographer there like at a wedding. Everyone can have portraits taken. I want everyone to wear earth tones or jewel tones. I love rich warm colors. And a huge cake, 3 or 4 tier like a wedding cake, decorated in blue and purple like my weding cake, topped with silk flowers.

I have also thought about a costume memorial. Like halloween but in honor of me. ~Mandy

Considering what happened to Lisa after others started posting(last wish envy) I have decided to wait until everyone else has posted and steal the best ideas! Whadaya think? That's 'cause my brain is already fried and I just haven't had the sense to give up the ghost yet, lol!

Thanks Lisa for starting such a great thread!!!!

Cindy

Okay, here goes...

- I want to be cremated

- I want my organs donated

- I want everyone to sit around reminiscing about how they couldn't believe how great I looked just before I died at the ripe old age of 99 while making love to my 24 year old boyfriend Carlos. Carlos of course will be inconsolable...

If my family must have an open casket they can buy the biggest, fanciest silk lined casket they can find and put my band on the pillow... hehehehehehe

OMG LOL.

I agree I want to be cremated also and what is in good condition or if it still works can be donated.

Some of my ashes have to be snuck in my husbands food or beer at the reception (at least I'll leave knowing he ate me at some point in my life) oops did I say that???

At my reception I do not want Mexican food - I want good ole Cheeseburgers and Nachos and Budwieser (not lite). Of course while they are reading how awesome and fun I was. I want to hear def Leppord or any band from the 80s blaring..

I would say River dance but I have no clue what that is.. But do remember I have to left feet if anyone wants to give me instructions.

Budwieser (not lite).

and cheesesticks with marinara sauce

1. Organs donated if they are still any good.

2. Cremated

3. Good old fashioned potluck/keg party in the country in my honor (everyone better party!)

4. Ashes dumped in the ocean!