I am sorry to post this, I just need to vent a little.

I hope someone out there can totaly feel my pain and understand where I am coming from......

At 5 am I was woken up cause My Dog decided to she wanted to go out (She is nursing 11 pups) anyways

As I got out of bed I noticed I was soaking wet in Sweat! But it was cold sweat......

I took Amanda (my dog) out, and as I came in OMG I felt HORRIBLE!!!

I got chest pains, Rapid heart beats, my tongue went numb, my arm and hands went numb, I felt nauceous, I felt like I was going to pass out! I was breathing ok but its like the air was going in but my body was not absorbing the Oxygen!

I thought I was going to die!!

As I walked back to the bedroom, I realized this could be serious, so my symptoms got WORSE!! I woke my husband up and made him take me to the ER.

They took me in right away, they ran all kinds of tests , and scans to rule out blood clots or Heart attacks.

After like about 3-4hours they came back and said uhm, you results came in, and everything looks normal!

Then he asked "are you under any stress??"

OMG HELL YEAH!! I HAVE STRESS GALORE!!!!

then he said well you had an anxiety attack..... I will give you a shot and that should help. (Ativan)

I was like WHAT?? An anxiety attack??????

ME?????

So they gave me the shot and 10 min later the chest pain stopped, my body just relaxed......:thumbdown:

I hate the fact that due to:

-me choosing to stay home and be a Mom and a Wife,

-Me choosing to move into my parents house to Help them out financialy

-me stressing all the time that my DH is cheating

-me gaining so much weight

-me being so unhappy in my Marriage

-Me wanting to change my future and bumping into so many obstacles to get there.

-me always being worried about my parents health

I AM GOING TO END UP KILLING MYSELF!

I DONT MEAN IT LITERALY.....

But I am just so OVERWHELMED, that I am causing stress in my body and I am going to end up giving myself a heart attack!

I need a change......

I would love to just Leave far away from all these problems and start off new life.....

Or maybe turn back time and made different choices....

When I got proposed to, I should have ran the other way instead of say YES i'll marry u!

I am 27 yrs old! I shouldnt be having these types of problems yet.......

I got scared today.... REALLY scared!

My life is not what I wanted for myself.

My Husband is not who I thought he was,,,,,,

I need to feel loved and cared for.....for a change...........

I had enough, I really did............

I mean I love my husband but it just sux to live like Brother and Sister......

It sux to know he is never home due to his job,

It sux to ALWAYS worry about him getting shot at every day at work, or that I will get a call from one of his supervisers saying " I have bad news"

I cant do this anymore.... I really cant!!!

New- I am so sorry that you are going through so much. I really don't know what to tell you. Just keep venting on here. We are here for you. Maybe seek psychological help.

Why do you think your husband is cheating? I also take it he is a cop (getting shot at everyday).

OK. instead of staying home, maybe get a part time job or volunteer somewhere. Have your mother watch your children. That will give you a few hrs away from home. A change of pace.

Maybe talk to a pastor.

Have you been banded yet? If so you are losing weight, right.

Just keep venting hon. I hope something here will help you.

New- I am so sorry that you are going through so much. I really don't know what to tell you. Just keep venting on here. We are here for you. Maybe seek psychological help.

Why do you think your husband is cheating? I also take it he is a cop (getting shot at everyday).

OK. instead of staying home, maybe get a part time job or volunteer somewhere. Have your mother watch your children. That will give you a few hrs away from home. A change of pace.

Maybe talk to a pastor.

Have you been banded yet? If so you are losing weight, right.

Just keep venting hon. I hope something here will help you.

I am so sorry for just exploding here.....

Thanx for your support :thumbdown: though....

I just had one of those moments yesterday.

I am just at a crossroads in my life where I feel everything coming down on me!

I think my husband is cheating due to his lack of interest in me...

He says and swears there is no body else () and that he is just tired and stressed due to his job,

(U.S. Border Patrol)

BUT I grew up in the city where we were stationed (big coincidence) we moved here from East Tx, so I know the way things work here....

I know the women here....

They see a Man with a badge and a gun and OMG they LITERALY THROW THEMSELVES AT THEM!!!! (pathetic!)

Its probably just the fact that I feel VERY unatractive due me being so fat!

Cause I handle the $$$ at home...

There is never any $$$ missing and

he is not the type of guy that will go out at night with the "guys" he never has....

if we go out we go out together!

I dont know....

My pastor unfortunatly is 300 miles away....

I havent been able to find one here in this new town.

I mean I am not alone in this town My whole family is here

But I will be ok, I just needed to let it all out!

and thank you once again.....

I have not been banded yet, but I have already started the process. I already went to the seminar and I have my 1st drs appt on thurs.

Edited June 30, 200917 yr by NewSexyMe
forgot to add somthing

Well vent here all you want to hon. We support each other. We are family in a way.

Good luck with your Dr. appointment. Are you self pay or insured?

Well vent here all you want to hon. We support each other. We are family in a way.

Good luck with your Dr. appointment. Are you self pay or insured?

I am insured. BCBS FEP.

I sure know where your coming from. I suffer from anxiaty too. The main thing to remember if you have another attack is to do deep breathing. Breath in hold your breath and breath out........

I hope everything straightens out and you live peacfully.

I have had panic attacks since grade school. For a long time they would come in cycles of months at a time. Here is some practical advice: your mind is making the panic attack. Our minds cannot think of two things at once (I know you think you can but its true, you cant). When you feel the panic coming on you shift your mind to something else, even if it is naming capitals, making a shopping list or thinking about the lyrics to a song. This will short circuit the panic attack pretty quickly to the point where you can handle it.

Good luck, and remember, only expend energy on the things you can control, screw the rest.

I have had panic attacks since grade school. For a long time they would come in cycles of months at a time. Here is some practical advice: your mind is making the panic attack. Our minds cannot think of two things at once (I know you think you can but its true, you cant). When you feel the panic coming on you shift your mind to something else, even if it is naming capitals, making a shopping list or thinking about the lyrics to a song. This will short circuit the panic attack pretty quickly to the point where you can handle it.

Good luck, and remember, only expend energy on the things you can control, screw the rest.

That's some really good advise, even for people who don't have panic attacks. It might help with stressful situations that people tend to dwell on. Thanks.

Wow -you do seem to have a lot going on. I can offere a little advice - first off- it sounds like you could use a little medical help - anxiety attacks are brought on by a chemical imbalance - you are producing too much serotonin - and you produce even more when you become stressed or have anxiety -which makes it a vicious cycle -also - you sound pretty depressed. You may want to consider taking some antidepressant medication for a while - to get the chemicals turned around in your body - I too have anxiety attacks - suffered from them terribly for a while - finally my doc put me on zoloft - I took it for about 6 months - then was able to go off of it - and now I just take ativan prn(when needed) - to head off the attacks - I usually only need a few a month now - been doing this for about 20 years- it just seems to work for me - the zoloft got the chemicals turned around - the ativan keeps them from getting out of whack again. As for your other issues- every wife/mother goes through times like you are going through - and every marriage goes through a period like that too - I wouldn't be too hard on your dh - maybe you are not being very receptive - because you feel so unattractive - I know when I was at my highest weight - I couldn't even fake feeling sexy - and I too blamed him for not wanting me because I was fat - but here I was -griping at him all the time - dressing like a nun -and acting like a shrew - no wonder he didn't want me - and as for being a stay at home mom - god bless you honey - I teach and I stay home all summer - it is a thankless job - and would drive me nuts if I did it all the time -I can't wait to be back at work - it is soooo much easier being a working mom! Take heart - you are doing somthing for yourself and your family that will be the best thing you could do for them - getting yourself healthy - inside and out! And yes, come here and vent often -it does help! Hang in - Anne:smile2:

I sure know where your coming from. I suffer from anxiaty too. The main thing to remember if you have another attack is to do deep breathing. Breath in hold your breath and breath out........

I hope everything straightens out and you live peacfully.

I have had panic attacks since grade school. For a long time they would come in cycles of months at a time. Here is some practical advice: your mind is making the panic attack. Our minds cannot think of two things at once (I know you think you can but its true, you cant). When you feel the panic coming on you shift your mind to something else, even if it is naming capitals, making a shopping list or thinking about the lyrics to a song. This will short circuit the panic attack pretty quickly to the point where you can handle it.

Good luck, and remember, only expend energy on the things you can control, screw the rest.

Wow -you do seem to have a lot going on. I can offere a little advice - first off- it sounds like you could use a little medical help - anxiety attacks are brought on by a chemical imbalance - you are producing too much serotonin - and you produce even more when you become stressed or have anxiety -which makes it a vicious cycle -also - you sound pretty depressed. You may want to consider taking some antidepressant medication for a while - to get the chemicals turned around in your body - I too have anxiety attacks - suffered from them terribly for a while - finally my doc put me on zoloft - I took it for about 6 months - then was able to go off of it - and now I just take ativan prn(when needed) - to head off the attacks - I usually only need a few a month now - been doing this for about 20 years- it just seems to work for me - the zoloft got the chemicals turned around - the ativan keeps them from getting out of whack again. As for your other issues- every wife/mother goes through times like you are going through - and every marriage goes through a period like that too - I wouldn't be too hard on your dh - maybe you are not being very receptive - because you feel so unattractive - I know when I was at my highest weight - I couldn't even fake feeling sexy - and I too blamed him for not wanting me because I was fat - but here I was -griping at him all the time - dressing like a nun -and acting like a shrew - no wonder he didn't want me - and as for being a stay at home mom - god bless you honey - I teach and I stay home all summer - it is a thankless job - and would drive me nuts if I did it all the time -I can't wait to be back at work - it is soooo much easier being a working mom! Take heart - you are doing somthing for yourself and your family that will be the best thing you could do for them - getting yourself healthy - inside and out! And yes, come here and vent often -it does help! Hang in - Anne:smile2:

Thank you all for all your advise. It has really helped to come in here and hear kind words. Life isnt easy But, I am really trying to make the best out of it. Being a stay at home Mom, Wife, daughter, Sister, Cousin and Good Friend is really draining me. I feel everybody asks too much from me...

Maybe its just me....

Thank you very much for letting me vent and for taking the time to write somthing down.:redface:

Hugs,

Alexandra